Thats OK adpiucf, I know you aren't coming down on me & I understand what you're saying.

And Adelphean, I definitely wouldn't want a girl crying at the house if she didn't want to be there. I don't know how other schools do it, but at UK the girls that don't want to sign their bids don't ever have to meet the other pledges or sisters.

My comment was mostly made to show how I feel in regards to everyone keeping an open mind. It makes me sad to see someone not keep an open mind & be willing to give any sorority a chance, when there are so many girls that received no bid & would be willing. Thats all, I'm not trying to come down on the OP.

Ugh, I hate it too. I don't care how upset a new member is about her bid, crying is downright rude. This past year a PNM named "Sally" went to our pref ceremony and another sorority's pref ceremony. She ranked the other sorority first and AXO second. Right after she turned in her bid card she had a change of heart and decided she really wanted AXO. Well of course they told her she couldn't do that, that bid matching had already begun and it was final. She started bawling to the director of Greek Life, all the Rho Chis and Panhel president, and nobody could do anything about it. So of course Sally got a bid to the sorority she ranked #1 and went to their bid day SOBBING. It was so bad and so unnerving to the other new members that the president of XYZ had to call one of my sisters to have her calm this girl down. So one of my sisters had to leave AXO's bid night to go to XYZ's bid night to talk to Sally. It's fine to be disappointed, but don't sit there and sob hysterically and refuse to participate in bid night -- you preferenced that sorority -- so don't cry. Sally ended up staying on as a new member in XYZ and actually initiated, but I give lots of credit to XYZ for dealing with her. I would have wanted to tell her "Fine, if you hate us so much, there's the door, don't let it hit your ass on the way out." :rolleyes:

No. By not not accepting a bid from a group you listed on your preference card, you cannot be involved in any sort of recruitment proccess for one calendar year. Unless U of A doesn't follow the normal NPC rules - which could be a possibility but I highly doubt it. I suggest you call you campus Panhellenic to be sure.

This cannot be true since with some houses you never actually sign your bid card. For instance, Chi Omega bid cards do not have a spot for signature. If she filled out her preference card after pref parties, that is the card that is binding. Since she received a bid from one of the houses she went to for pref, I would assume she did in fact fill out that card. (I'm not sure all schools make you actually sign that card, but filling it in and submitting it with ABC and XYZ listed means you will accept a bid from either of those houses if they offer you one).

Here's my advice to you:

Go to the informal recruitment events (if they are open invitation events) this spring. Obviously, if there are private parties or invitation-only events, you probably won't be invited but that's because the chapters know you can't accept a bid until next year. But go to the ones that are open invitation, if they even have those at your college. You can meet all the girls and really get to know them, and then if you do decide to go through formal recruitment again, you'll have a base of members that you already know. It can only help you. You're not eligible to receive any sort of bid though, until the next formal recruitment.

But they wouldn't allow us to SIP. If I had the option I would have cause in no way did I want to take a bid away from a girl that was truly deserving.

That's funny you should say that because I was just thinking that I don't remember signing a bid card. I recall that at my alma mater the procedure was as you described, filling out the preference card is binding. That's what makes it so scary if you pref a house you didn't love and one you do love. I put all three houses on my bid card and I REALLY wanted ChiO, was so-so about one and really did not feel comfortable at the third. But I put all three b/c my Rho Chi (as they were called in those days) told me it would maximize my chances of getting ChiO to follow the panhellenic rules and put all three....but the flip side was that if i received a bid from anyone I'd be prohibited from rushing again for a year.

Say someone is in Rumblytumbly's shoes, where they go through recruitment and end up with invites to, say, two pref parties.

This PNM really loves ABC and doesn't really like XYZ, but since you have to go two, she goes to both pref parties.

When it comes time to preference the sororities, if the PNM really doesn't want to be a member of XYZ, and she's not allowed to SIP, wouldn't it make sense for the PNM to preference ABC and sorority DEF, a sorority which she liked but had already cut her? DEF would be highly unlikely to give her a bid, so then she would only really be able to get a bid from ABC or be released from recruitment. In that way, the PNM wouldn't be taking a bid from a sorority she didn't like and preventing another girl who really wanted XYZ from getting a bid.

I've always been confused about whether this would work, logistically, but it seemed to make sense to me when I thought about it.

I believe that in order to follow panhellenic rules you have to rank the houses you attended that night. So unless you only preffed one house (with a maximum of two) you wouldn't be following panhell ruled unless you ranked both. That's my recollection, but anyone feel free to correct me. :)

What does SIP mean?

Single Intentional Preference = suicide

SIP = Single Indvidual Preference

Also known as a fancy term for "suiciding" to one sorority after prefs.

In all fairness, sometimes Rho Gams and Pan Exec are not exactly forthcoming with info to PNMs. Not b/c they don't want to be, but b/c they themselves don't know, having only been doing this "job" for a couple of months.

Well, that is simply untrue. I don't know if the Rho Chi was trying to lie, or if she was just mis-informed, but the only thing that increased your chance of a Chi O bid was putting them #1.

Rumblytumbly, I am sorry it turned out this way and you were not allowed to SIP. However, before attending open COR events in the Spring to get to know the ladies, PLEASE check with Panhellenic and mkae sure this is ok. You don't want to break any rules and jepordize your chances for next year. Also, if they say it is ok, please be sure to inform the women at the chapters that you are not eleigible for a bid until fall. You don't want them to have problems either.

That's so funny! She had some story about how if you follow panhellenic rules you're run through the computer a second time and it will pick you up if you're on the second bid list and they didn't already match up to quota. LOL...I was young and uninformed i guess!

Like the former Greek Life head told me back in 1996 when I went through rush at Ole Miss: "Rush is not a guaranteed process. You have to play the game ladies or you'll be left behind."

I think it is great advice to use...

I know-- I remember one year that "you aren't allowed to suicide/SIP or you'll be kicked out of the computer."

Big. Fat. Lie.

But the person who told us believed it herself because it was a rumor that had circulated among people in the "know."