These types of things vary by campus, and by chapter. When I was at FSU, I wasn't aware of any sororities that did a one candle pass. I think that the first time around was to build suspense.

Not to be selfish, but I would never give My Badge to anyone. A Lavalier okay but I worked to hard to get My Badge not to wear it myself.:)

When we Phi Psis pin our sweethearts, we don't give away our badge. We buy a "sweetheart pin" for the occasion.

Phi Psi badge:
http://tinypic.com/m0cyc

Phi Psi sweetheart pin:
http://tinypic.com/m0cw2

What the heck is a candle pass?

I think this is a complex issue. There are fraternities on campus that rarely if ever have laveliers/pinned girlfriends. We also have another where there is like one laveliered every semester.

I think it should be a sign of engagement... because marriage is the course of bonding all parts of your lives together.

Our sorority laveliered one guy that laveliered one of our sisters the previous year... other than that we aren't a common lavlier kind of sorority

I got to observe a candle pass for a very close friend of mine when she announced her engagement (four passes) to her sorority.

How it worked for her was that she left an anonymous note in the president's mailbox requesting a candle pass. At the end of their chapter meeting, the president announced a candle pass and all the girls formed a circle.

(This was not part of chapter and why I got to see the event. I knew it was going happen and I just "happened" to be stopping by the house to pick her up to go study. At least that was our story.)

During the candle pass, the president lights a candle and begins to pass it in a circle from member to member while the chapter sings certain significant songs. The candle makes it around at least once so that everyone gets to touch the candle at least one time. The second pass was for lavalieres, third pass for a pinning and the fourth pass meant an engagement.

So the candle is passed around at least once, then when it comes to you, and it is the appropriate pass, you blow out the candle. This is followed first by a gasp, then everyone shrieking real loud, while jumping up and down followed by group hugs. Along with some tears thrown in for good measure. At least that is how it happened with my friend. :D

FYI: She is still married to the same gentleman. Lucky bast@rd. :)

Edited to state that the note was anonymous. As is usually the case.

Let's not forget the part where after that they corner you in the room and make you tell "the story" ;)

Awww, Russ, so when do I get mine??? :D

I can fit you in for tomorrow at about 5:30. Meet me at McSorley's. Its on 7th, between 2nd and 3rd.

awww! sounds cute!

this is probably a dumb question, but if a guy "pins" you or what not, is it like getting engaged? and do you still get an engagement ring? or does that just mean that you're going "steady?"

And, for alumnae.. (yes, we still do them!) 5 passes is marriage and 6 passes is with child!

In my day, pinning/lavaliering were "going steady".

fwiw, we called it a Candlelight. Same thing.

Im not big on the whole idea of pinning. Back when my dad was in college he fell head over heals for this girl and eventually pinned her. Because of that he felt obligated to marry her and eventually they did. Story short they end up in a divorce and a daughter. Is it a sweet offer yea and congrats to anyone who is but with my family history im kinda against it. Going back to what some people have posted, my pin means a lot to me and to every Alpha Phi and i wouldn't feel right about giving it to someone who doesn't know the true significance behind it. But thats just my thought

Here, a guy gives a girl his letters. She wears his lavalier basically. My roommate last year got it from her boyfriend. They're REALLY serious. I thought it was nice.