DO: Worship me. I am a goddess. And even if you think I'm not, I am.
Don't: Tickle me. It is not a turnon and will get you nowhere.

DO: Make noises. Don't hold back. They're sexy. Really.
Don't: Expect to be able to just shove it in. It takes a bit of work. And if you go soft, don't blame me.

HAHAHA!!!!!! You all are too funny!!!!! Some really good do's and don'ts.

The same goes for me.

Y'all are cracking me up . . .

a few more....
 

funny how these things just come to you during the course of a day.....

don't think that just b/c we had a fight "make up sex" is all it takes to make up...

do pay special attention to the girls.....i prayed for them for so long (17 yeeeears!!!!), now you can pray to them.

DO NOT act like just b/c you have been around the block and back and up the next street that you know more about sex than i do.....sometimes, it's a gift, not a learned skill ;)

um....

do wake me up for a morning romp, but please have tic-tacs at the ready

and finally.......(for right now, anyway)....

don't think foreplay consists of spooning and poking me in the back with lil' buddy...it's more than that

AMEN!

Also: DO learn to kiss... Im sorry but you need to learn how to use your tounge or you'll never make someone happy. Just dont use too much.

it's too early in the a.m., obviously...
 

the hits keep coming....

this is just a little side-note for all the guys out there gettin some he*d.....

if you know that there is a strong possibility of you gettin some oral action from a/your woman, DO eat an apple or another sweet fruit before hand, and avoid the fast food...this is all, of course, if you know she takes it like a champ.

i've tried to be so subtle (kinda), and not raunchy at all....but after ppl start talking about drying out and twinkies, and jelly donuts and those damn hang-nails, i thought it would be ok for me to mention one's daily dose of fruit. help a girl out, yo's!

Pure HELL! :rolleyes:

BTW, I am going to keep lurking...and keep my mouth SHUT! :p ;)

that would be an f*ing miracle

Re: a few more....
 

and they do this in the morning. . .WTF?!?!

DONT tell me how you are so experienced cause you have dated an older woman....i am not impressed

DONT ask me why i cannot come as well as your ex

DONT get an attitude with me cause i dont want any...i am not here to satisfy a 'man's needs'...i hate that line that a guy gives:mad:


DONT lure me into a sexual conversation and then argue with me cause i am not going to give you any action.
:mad: :mad:

Re: a few more....
 

Ditto, lol :)

This thread just keeps getting better by the minute!

speaking of the girls. . .

don't: bite
do: flick with your tongue
don't: grab forcibly
do: massage them with your fingertips
don't: jiggle them a little
do: lightly brush them with the back of your hand
do: shower them with kisses
do: trace them with your tongue

How could it travel the length of your body? Were you giving him a footjob?

Why don't you just swallow? Take one for the team.

some people aren't comfortable with the idea
it comes with age