ROTFLMFAO!! LOOOOOOOOL! Sciencewoman, CG is lighting y’all’s coach up. Gave dude a curl. Dude looks outdated as hell LMAO! I’m crying LOL

CG, Jheri Curl is not going to sign Dan Campbell as a paid endorser no matter how hard you try.

He begged me for it, Sciencewoman. I warned him, “Daniel, your scalp’s still sizzling from the last masterpiece I gave you.” But he handed me the $5 bucks and said, “Make me shine.” So fine, I mixed up the curl chemical, started applying it, and he like… literally went “Sssssss!” like a frying pan. I told him, “Daniel, if it starts burning, dab it with a wet paper towel and pray. Okay? I’m seriously not issuing refunds on discount salon disasters. You ask for this, Mister.”

So apparently Dan Campbell can regenerate his hair after your initial "masterpiece"/shave/disaster, just like he's regenerated the Lions? OK, I'm willing to believe he has that power.

Ok.. So….. I can explain.

See, that’s the advantage of having a chemistry background, Sciencewoman. When I realized I’d basically… like… totally butchered his scalp? I put my lab coat on, whipped up a topical follicle accelerator using caffeine, dog shampoo, Axe Body Spray, Gatorade Zero, and, (don’t judge me) half a Flintstone vitamin.

I shook it up in a jar, heated it up, prayed over it, and slapped it on. His hair grew back in 24 hours. I was like, “Oh. My. GAWD, Daniel! It actually worked!”

Only problem? Okay.. so it came back like.. this weird bleached blonde, Golden Retriever color? I mean, I don’t even know if it’s permanent? But anyway, I blew it out, dyed it black, and then he goes, “Lay it on me. Can you give me that 80s Michael Jackson look? I wanna look fly when we play your Vikings.” That’s when I added the curl chemical after I dyed it.

So I’m like, “Okaaay… I guess I can try.” And voila’. History was made.

$5 bucks, a minor chemical burn, and now he looks like he’s about to drop a funk album. Pure art. :)

https://iili.io/KjDfGob.md.jpg

Hmmm, the Nobel Prize for Chemistry was announced today. As much as I'd like to say "maybe next year" to you for your contribution to the science of hair restoration, I think you need to continue your research so that clients/patients don't look like a blonde Bozo the Clown or 1980s Michael Jackson after dropping $5 for your treatment.

I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you'd used a whole Flintstones vitamin!

(Just wait, Phrozen, the next magazine cover is going to showcase CGC winning the Nobel Prize for Chemistry after she claims the committee changed their selection, lol)

LMAO! Gave dude a blonde blowout LOL!! Y’all are over here wildin. CG, it’s called curl activator not curl chemical LOL!

LOL@ Sciencewoman calling out CG. You’re right though, CGC been lying throughout this whole thread like she’s always done on these football threads, so let’s wait for the next lie. Have you noticed, the games the Vikings lose, she’ll say she wasn’t coaching that day. She was out. But when they win, she just happens to be coaching. Typical CGC LOL.

This thread is pure comedy gold LOL

Umm… I didn’t claim they changed their selection, Sciencewoman. I just politely informed them of their mistake. They were very understanding after I forwarded the Smithsonian cover. Oh wait…. are you still jealous over that? That was like… two years ago. I mean, I get it, you and Phrozen still haven’t processed my head coach position with the Vikings, but c’mon… the 2023 Smithsonian issue? You guys are really still there? Like, seriously? I mean, I’d offer to sign your copy, but I heard they’re going for collectors prices now.

And actually, Dan did insist on the whole Flintstones vitamin. Now his curls self-hydrate like every 20 minutes or so, as you can see here at one of his games.

https://iili.io/KNuqQ0g.md.jpg

Nope.

Caffeine? lol
What’s the matter, PB? Is it that espresso? You did say caffeine. I’m basically the caffeine equivalent of your sleepless night and a recurring thought.
https://youtube.com/shorts/-LueShC-g...mRpQyXdM1NYshd

Goodbye, PB, lol. ———-> thanks for playing, now back to your corner. :) ;)

Did I say the 1980s? Now he looks like he's back in the 70s with those glasses and that mustache, lol. I guess that's what five bucks gets you.

LMAO! Dude looks like he moonwalked out of a 1986 Soul Glo commercial straight onto the sidelines, headset, clipboard, and curl juice glistening under the stadium lights. And what’s up with those outdated ass glasses? I hollered!

LOL! Damn, she got you hooked like that, PB? I guess he ran right into that one. Lmao

CG is a trip.

That’s not the 70s, that’s “vintage icon energy.” You can’t buy that kind of “confidence” for $5 bucks. I mean, he paid $5 bucks, but I threw in the “swagger” for free. You’re welcome, Detroit. Woohoo! Go Daniel!


They’re non-prescription. :)

A trip? lol. Nope, I’m the destination. First class only. :)

THOSE glasses are just for "fashion statement" purposes?! Hahahahahahahahahaha

Yep. He said he wanted to look “smart”? I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s not the glasses doing the heavy lifting. :)

Detroit vs Chiefs. Should be an interesting game tonight. I hope Andy Reid likes Daniel’s hair, lol.