I swear, we may have some threads that address similar topics.
:confused:

All the time.
 

If I had a dime for every time I've been called an 'oreo' I'd be a very wealthy woman.

I grew up in a predominately white area, went to predominately white schools. My husband is white. Doesn't change the fact that I am very much a 'sista.'

I majored in English Lit and speak "properly." I also know some Spanish and studied French. I've seen quite a bit of the world, partially due to my father being in the military (I was born in Germany). I also studied classical music in high school.

When I was a freshman in college I was cornered by a group of several black students who felt it their mission in life to tell me they thought that *I* thought I was white. I hadn't done anything to them to provoke it....I didn't even know them, really.

It doesn't help that there is some 'white blood' in my family as well, and some of my kinfolk have 'white' features; some capable of 'passing' (though they will tell you they are black WITH THE QUICKNESS).

Join the club. God loves you as you are and made you unique. Black folk are NOT a monolith. We come in all shades and hues, all kinds of hair textures, with all kinds of backgrounds and diverse interests. If other people can't handle it, that's their dilemma. Keep humility at the forefront, pray for those who are consumed by jealousy and practice compassion and forgiveness.

What's that saying: Be who you are, because the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.
:)

Peace.

Re: Bringing us up or tearing us down
 

Well given the huge health disparity of African Americans we need to be out there more enjoying the plain "outdoors"--forget sunshine--and doing some exercise...

I think that you were probably dealing with someone quite immature and I would have not given him the pleasure to even dignify his comment. The real question you have to ask is why did it bother you anyway?

So what if he called you a white girl because you said you were going to walk around Lake Michigan, who the EFF cares? Oprah would be doing it if she had the time, you might see her... Hayle, any number of folks may be up in there--as long as you are working out, really, who the EFF cares?

I am practicing barre (ballet) exercises in my gym before my aerobics class. Although I am in the Pac Northwest where EVERYBODY works out to some degree, I do get odd stares by folks for doing barre exercises. Personally, I think it is because folks are trying to figure out how they could do it because most folks think barre exercises and ballet is not that aerobic when it actually is... And it is very hard to do. The reason why it looks so easy on stage is that the folks have been doing it since they were walking and have regulated all the physiology (like heart rate) to make the presentation beautiful...

Do I think you overreacted? Probably not. Am I shocked that dude said something that ignorant to you? No... But if it were me and I chose to deal with that person today, I'd probably ask him why he thought it so I could see how far his head was in the toilet... Then I hoped he'd never get a heart attack.

But that's just me.

Re: Re: Bringing us up or tearing us down
 

If the world were that grounded... we would have a reason to have these threads :)

Re: All the time.
 

Taking it one step further:

It's all about mind over matter: If you don't mind, it don't matter :D

My roommate, L, dates white men. Fine. L was cooking dinner and asked me if the chicken was done. The white guy says to L, 'Don't all black people know when the chicken is done.' I almost slapped the sh*t out of him. I kept quiet though. I didn't want to cause any loss of a date, so I went to my room.

blackness questioned? been there, done that. heard it all before, sure i will hear it again.

i feel like if youre dumb enough to make the remark, youre not smart enough for me to give you an educated reply, aside from "what do you mean?" after that, they may get a "oh really? thats nice" and i K.I.M.

im pretty sure that most people who have gotten this prolly wont hear the same from whites. speaking for myself, most black people i know will say i act white, whites will say that i act black. well, ya cant please everyone.

p.s. my (now ex) boyfriend told me right before i started college that he could see me "turning into one of them." 4 years later i wonder...

Hi Ms. Sweetness, I lived and went to school in Hyde Park for the past 5 years or so before moving to Cali so I am familiar with the neighborhood. I think that sometimes we (AAs) consider outdoor activities to be something outside of the realm of what AA do. For example, my bfriend and I love hiking but I don't really have any other AA friends that do also. It may be perceived as a non-AA thing to do, not sure. Also, here in Cali, most women wear a press. When I heard that upon my arrival last summer, I was like ?? b/c with so much water all around, if you're not wearing your hair natural, why would you maintain a press? Well, I soon found out that I was one of the few AA women who actually was going to get in the water anyway so it didn't matter to them. I say that to say that perhaps getting in the water is not perceived as an AA thing? I'm not sure.

Anyway, you didn't elaborate on *how* you got offended so I can't comment on whether you went too far but skating along the lake doesn't sound too non-AA to me, no matter the neighborhood that you live in. I would say to consider maintaining composure in the face of stupidity (which is a good skill to have in general b/c you *will* be confronted with blatant stupidity or foolishness in the future - by someone for whatever reason) and with the blankest most innocent look, ask why the person believes what the person believes. Most of the time they will make themselves look silly.

SC

So the history of most of Southern California is why most AA do not swim at the beach...

Historically, there was extreme racial segregation at almost all the prime locations on SoCal beaches. If found there pre-1970's, AA's were either beaten or killed for being on the beach or near the beach. That kind of history is hidden about SoCal and only older native Californians know this kind of history.

Also, there have always been the police officers on the beach or near the beach ready to arrest "suspicious characters". Yeah, there are billion dollar homes near the SoCal beaches, that is the price most folks pay for while living in Cali... But, there is no reason to go Sylmar Rodney King style on a brotha while he's just enjoying himself at the beach with his Nicole girlfriend... That happenend ALOT on most SoCal beaches...

Then other less desirable beaches have crap in the water, like sewage, condoms, needles, you name it, you'll find it... Those are forgotten areas... And there is rough water, or undertows that make the beaches unsafe.

I would say that most SoCal beaches rules and goers have been unbelievably racist and bigotted in the past and a lot of that has not much changed...

And I am a native California who resides in Pacific Northwest now...

How are most SoCal beach rules and goers were/are racist and bigotted? Just curious, I've never heard that before.

Very interesting post. One of the biggest reasons why I have a crush on SoCal are what I've heard about the beaches.

As a slightly older native Californian who is still here, Soror's analysis is spot-on. Black folks just really didn't go to many beaches or did that much water-style activity. We got a pool in 1968, a year after my parents moved in the current family home, and I did do some degree of swimming. I can't swim well enough, however, to save my life.

Sorors AKAMonet and Steeltrap, thank you for shedding some light on the matter. I was pretty baffled by it, especially living so close to the southbay where I frequent Manhattan Beach and Hermosa Beach (the city or the beach itself) about once a month or so.

SC

So as a little girl, I was all into the "surfer dude" stuff. Like a fish... I LUUUVVVVEEEEDDDDEDDDD the beach, the ocean, the sand and stuff.

In fact, my mother had to dayum near give me whuppins to leave the beach--like I ackted so ugly that I tole my mama I was gonna run away & live with Shamu...

In fact, my mother would have to scare me to death to get me into the car are leave the beach!!!

But when I became a teenager and started looking at the boys and tried to cute :rolleyes: with by bikini on, etc. Aside from dudes not looking at me, really and if they did they were drunkard toothless homeless dudes, I got harassessed OFTEN by the po-po by just being on the beach even if I hungout with my non-AA girlfriends who were sunbathing like I was (don't ask with my logic about that one)--just because of the color of my skin...

It happenend in Catalina, San Diego and the O.C. beaches--all the time...

The only safest area for me to hangout on the Beach without getting harassessed by law enforcement in San Diego is this place called South Mission before all the gangs started shooting. This was in the mid to late 1980's...

Recently, when I visited the O.C. my husband and I were often being followed by the po-po just because we were on the Beach...

In fact, I used to work at Scripps Institution of Oceanography that is on La Jolla Shores... I'd get harrassed...

I'd havta go to Windansea beach...

Harrassment by the po-po is VERY humiliating especially when you're trying to look cute and you are really aren't doing anything other than crossing the street...

But that is what happens daily on SoCal beaches...

Unless the beach has basketball courts, the po-po thinks there is no other reason why people of color need to be there...

That is a fact in the day in the life of Southern California... Just the way it is...

Hi Soror,
Your experience (especially given that it is STILL continuing) just outrages me! I am so sorry that you cannot even go to the beach! I often go to the LA (South Bay) beaches (Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach) and fortunately have not had a problem - perhaps these beaches are integrated b/c every now and then I see someone else with dark skin - but that is plain ridiculous! Yes that would be very humiliating. What is the behavior of the police that are following you? If you were to sit in the sand would they just hang around?

This is ridiculous,
SC

Oh Soror, I am one to go to the beach... Me and beach cannot be separated even with the sharks... :D :rolleyes:

As far as the behavior of the police, if you ignore them, they will go away. It is the same thing when they follow you when you are driving. However, if they pull you over for whatever reason it is still humiliating especially when you are rather "naked" in your swimsuit and you really are not doing anything other than strolling along the beach. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth...

Now, yeah, they can do that to anybody. But dayum, bust homies smoking and drinking themselves into oblivion and bothering beachgoers by puking on their blankets... Don't bust me because I crossed the street just a little outside of the crosswalk as the "red hand" blinks. That just sucks...