It did mean something to me that I was on their bid list. I had an incredibly open mind the whole week and I would have been so happy in any of the houses but by this time in the week I was emotionally drained and I absolutely knew in my heart that this wasn't the house for me. Maybe I won't try to rush again next year if it's so difficult and if all the houses are thinking terrible things about me.

Why would the houses be thinking terrible things about you?

You know what? It is emotionally draining to go through recruitment and it's really easy to get down about stuff. If I were you, I would go find stuff to do on campus that isn't Greek Life. There's a ton of wonderful stuff at UT -Austin and lots of new friends to make and a wonderful 4 years ahead of you. Go have fun. Study hard. Make friends. Get involved on campus.

You make decisions about recruitment for 2015 later.

Someone on the thread told her that if you drop all the houses will gossip about you for dropping and think badly of you for it.

Texasdancer, it is an incredibly emotional time and lack of sleep, heat, inevitable tent talk, a feeling that this is the most important thing in the world and a thousand women with hyper emotions takes a toll, especially when you are away from home and starting something new. No one is telling you not to try next year or next spring if opportunities open up. You will know when it comes if you should put yourself out there again. Not being in a sorority means that other opportunities will open up that you wouldn't have had time for otherwise. Get out, meet people, hold your head high and have fun. The mom in me says, "not tooooo much fun".

KDCat is spot on. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get involved. In fact the best thing for you right now to get involved with helping someone else. Look for campus opportunities to give of yourself. The closer to the person helped the better.

It's true the house that invited you to Pref may be saddened and/or even offended by you dropping out. Or they may not. Doesn't really matter at the moment. Make friends that make you happy. Worry about recruitment a different day.

Thanks y'all. I appreciate all the advice. I'm still kinda bummed but I'm moving forward :)

I am a frequent lurker but rarely post. But this post about UT recruitment and the "dance party" got my attention. I live in Austin and have heard about the dance party for years. I have a few friends who were in the chapter that hosts the dance party. One friend in particular is appalled by it, and while she looks back fondly on her time in XYZ, she was turned off many times by the exclusivity of her sorority. She wished that they had ventured outside their comfort zone of only rushing girls from certain camps/high schools/etc. She was involved in many other student organizations and met people from schools all over Texas and the rest of the nation, and she said these were the experiences that really helped her see the world in a different way. Had she just surrounded herself with the same types of girls she went to camp/high school with, her world view would have been much more limited.

When I went through rush at UCSB many years ago, we definitely had a lot of girls from certain high schools who got bids because they had friends in the house. But many of the girls we pledged were out of staters or people from small towns in California who we fell in love with during rush - people who none knew. But they became amazing sisters.

Ultimately, you can't make a sorority change its ways. I just feel they're doing a disservice to themselves by not being more open minded. And I'm personally offended by the way they publicly let all the PNMs know who is desired and who isn't. It makes a joke out of the recruitment process.

This "dance party" thing is really disgusting. I read about it yesterday, and I am having a hard time understanding why UT Panhellenic continues to allow them to participate in recruitment or why their nationals haven't stepped in and put their foot down. It is embarassing for for all greeks. Are people too afraid to stand up and do what is right?

How do you think their founders would feel in they attended recruitment at this chapter?

I'm not sure of which house you had left that you would not be interested in joining, and don't need to know, but this is just a reminder that some of the houses do COB. If you might be interested in that, let UPC know as soon as you're ready (best sooner than later). The chapters doing COB can get lists from UPC of interested girls.

Word is that UT Rush was brutal this year
 

Buzz is that UT Rush was brutal this year. I live in the Plano area and I have heard about several girls from this area who were dropped (or quit after their "dream house" didn't invite them back). These were quality girls- but as others have stated, almost all girls going through UT Recruitment are polished, quality girls with connections.
Somone posted on a local Mom's board that girls from Plano did better at Alabama rush than at UT this year. I heard 15 girls with Plano as their hometown received bids at Bama last week.
It does seem strange to me that UT has such a small Greek system as I went to a big school in the MidWest where Greek Row stretched on for blocks.

Thanks KDCat. I didn't remember that. I would bet money that once a girl drops out of recruitment few sorority members will remember her or think about her. There are too many PNMs remaining, and too much to do to get ready for the next set of parties to remember all the girls who they either didn't invite back, or who drop out of recruitment entirely. And even the sorority that had invited the OP to prefs. are probably to busy with their new members and school to think about "the one that got away."

I agree wholeheartedly

Maybe their behavior is starting to haunt them. No girl from my daughter's school pledged the offending house.

Thanks for your concern. Luckily, she got the house she had been aiming toward for the last 6 months.

One final thought from me and I'll crawl back in my hole.
This dance party thing really threw me for a loop. I am older than most Dads at UT, and it has been a while since I've been actively involved in the Greek system. As I mentioned earlier, I was our schools IFC president after being president of my fraternity. In that time long ago and place far away, there was truly a communal spirit among the greek houses. There were issues of course, but if there was censuring to be done or behavior to be modified, we banded together to encourage civility for the betterment of the entire greek system. The "dance party" of this house and the forces that allow it to continue are the antithesis of the teaching of the greek concepts of brotherhood and sisterhood as well as gaciousness to all to whom you come in contact. Especially those who you invite to enter your house. I hope that these concepts are not out of date.

I will say I see a spark of it the advice and encouragement several of you have given to Texasdancer. Thank you for that

As pinapple mentioned, Panhellenic does fine them and they keep right on doing it. To disallow them from participating in formal rush would just open a really big can of worms regarding ritual and membership selection. I was thinking why don't they just do rush on their own, and then said to myself duhhhhh, because they are at or over total and wouldn't be able to take quota. Right? (paging gatordeltapgh)