So you think that your gifted, brilliant daughter, who you've said will be spending a lot of time learning and doing RESEARCH as part of her major, someone who dances competitively and likely has to practice for hours and hours, is going into something as complex as SEC sorority recruitment with just "a little research" and then "try to wing it"??

That just doesn't add up.

More, and more, this just reeks of troll.

1. If your daughter is going to be involved in dance team to the detriment of all else (to the point that she may "major" in dance) she shouldn't rush.

2. If she is attending any school listed in this thread and you have the knowledge that you have now (i.e. it doesn't matter what it says on the school's website, you need to have recs to have optimum success in recruitment unless you are super lucky or Sabrina the Teenage Witch) and she is unwilling to put in the prep time to get recs and just wants to "wing it," she shouldn't rush.

3. If she dislikes being in the company of people who don't have her same interests and same IQ, she shouldn't rush.

or go to college, or have a job, or mix with the general population in any way.

I think I need to clarify. I said that I think she might do a little research. I was in a hurry when I wrote this. I tend to be a planner- so I will make sure my dd knows what she needs to do to prepare. I think we will get a few recs and do some research... perhaps not as much as what some people here put into it. I just don't see us pursuing a rec for every Greek sorority on campus. While that would be very thorough, I don't see us going that route. Also of note is that meeting sorority members and establishing connections would be very difficult due to distance issues. Therefore, this is not something that I feel we should beat ourselves up about and we will not be brainstorming or researching for ways to meet current members at the schools she is interested in. Although I think preparation is good, I also believe that God has a path for each of us.

BTW- I shared some of the positive advice I received here and dd does seem interested in following through. It does involve some work and preparation and she basically said she is willing to do that. So, I am on board with that if that is what she wants to do. I would never in a million years be interested in joining a sorority for myself- but I will certainly support that path if that is what interests my daughter. My mother and grandmother were members of a sorority, so perhaps she can carry on their tradition.

While I understand why you may not want to do all the labor before recruitment, I think it may be something to think over. Re-dos in SEC sorority recruitment are very, very uncommon. Without recs at many of the SEC schools, you are stacking the deck against you. This isn't something your daughter can decide on after recruitment. If your daughter emails her teachers, dance teachers/coaches, family friends, old babysitters etc, it is amazing how many sorority women one knows. There are a ton of panhellenic alumnae chapters throughout the US. Legacy status (aka your mother's sorority) will not matter at many SEC schools because there are a ridiculous amount of legacies going through. Why not try to put her best foot forward if this is something she wants to do?

One does not always get Recs from current sisters at the college your daughter may attend. I mean, you CAN, if you know those sisters really well and their organization allows that kind of thing. (Not all sororities function the same when it comes to who can write Recs. Some are alumnae only, some are alumnae or active collegiate sister at a different school, etc). However, it is absolutely not necessary to meet current sisters at the college she chooses to go to in order to get Recs. Have your daughter talk to her teachers, parents of friends, friends from church, friends who graduated a few years ago, etc. This is how one gets Recs. Network within your OWN community. Not the community in Tuscaloosa (or where ever). There are also Alumnae Panhellenic organizations all over the country that have members who are happy to write Recs for girls in their geographical area. So if your daughter has a teacher who was an AwesomeAlpha at Iowa University, she can write a Rec for your daughter for the AwesomeAlpha chapter at SEC U. If her grandmother is still around, SHE can write a rec for her sorority for the chapter at the school your daughter goes to, even if Grandma didn't go to school there.

You CAN do this. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

If you're not going to try to get a rec for everyone (or worse yet, if she or you have already chosen groups that you think would be "suitable" and don't want to bother with the rest) then she shouldn't waste time going through rush.

Ditto if whatever school she's attending has a Panhellenic preview weekend (the majority of schools do not do this, and it can be an enormous help to a rushee) and she isn't planning on attending it. If she was going to a small school with a small Greek community, she could probably half-ass it and turn out fine. However, that isn't the case at a "large university" especially an SEC university.

I think we've all said enough. If OP's daughter is as thorough and diligent as she says, and I suspect she is, the daughter will do all the research she needs to do and act accordingly. A gifted student who wants to be a doctor and dances competitively is Type A enough to get all her recs.

I think we're misreading the situation. Mom doesn't care if daughter goes Greek or not; daughter is interested. Mom just came on here to see if girls like her daughter tend to join sororities and have successful college experiences. I think we've satisfied her that it is possible, armed her with some info and warnings on the competitiveness of SEC recruitment and can let it go. We're not going to force people to get recs if they don't plan to take it seriously.

There's plenty of info on how to secure recs floating around on GC. Daughter seems bright and will figure it out if she wants to.

I don't think mom is trolling. I think she's a typical parent.

ETA: I just reread this and I sound like Tom Earp. Transitions between paragraphs would be nice...

Nah.. not even close. Your writing made sense.

Besides, you forgot all the smilies and the abortive syntax and the !!!!

Unfortunately, she put me off when she referred to her daughter as "dd."

I'm sure you meant that you AND your daughter will make sure she knows what she needs to do in order to prepare. Part of the fun is planning/preparing for recruitment. It's important she be part of the process.

And you do not have to contact members of the school she wished to attend. As many have already mentioned, for recommendations, you can reach out to those in your own community. There are some great threads on this board on how to secure rec's. This is why it is important to do ALL your research, not just a "little". It will resolve any "issues" you think you have (i.e. distance issues) that aren't even an issue to begin with!

In the end, if you daughter is truly interested, she will want to take an active part in researching, securing rec's, and be truly prepared for recruitment. If she isn't, her participation (or lack thereof) in the process will be evident come recruitment time when she is surrounded by other PNM's who are prepared.

I can't help with SEC recruitment, but I noticed that you (OP) mentioned being from the Midwest. Is the University of Michigan on your radar at all? They are often more generous with scholarships for OOS applicants--one of my sisters had a full ride (and possibly a stipend), and she's from Ohio. Also, we have a thriving but not cutthroat Greek system and a highly ranked dance team (I knew a couple girls who were involved in both), and of course, the academics are almost unmatched, no matter what major she ends up choosing. It might be worth her while to look at U of M or a couple of other schools outside the SEC! :)

The difference between these two paragraphs is amazing.

Keep in mind that your daughter will now be going off to college, and many things will no longer be "us" and "we". She needs to make her own decisions. Don't be surprised if she counts on you less, shares less with you, and doesn't talk to you as much as she used to once she leaves for school. I understand that you're trying to help, but you also need to let her branch out and succeed or fail on her own.

This.

Do sororities really have parties during finals week?