I actually got my last choice, but I gave them a shot and I certainly don't regret it.

Recruitment was tough, and I was crushed when I didn't get my first choice. I wanted the house that I considered at the time to be the "prettiest" and "most popular", but now I know that I would not have been happy there. I ended up where I needed to be.

How I finally found my Sorority Home
 

I finally joined a sorority as a college junior in the fall of 2012 but I didn't start my journey there.

As a Freshman at Moravian College I knew I wanted Greek life, I was also slightly obsessed with the show Greek. During recruitment I got cold feet right away, I just didn't get a strong pull for any of the chapters there, I then transferred home and went out again at ESU in the Spring of 2011. I had done all and I mean ALL of my research before recruitment. I dug up all the quick facts, philanthropies, campus reps...you name it. I was very conservative with how I acted that recruitment and really only wanted a certain sorority we will call it sorority A. When I met sorority A I was quickly disillusioned. Some of the girls were really nice and just what I expected, but the primary concern was could I pay their insane dues, I was not a fan.
When I went to my other choices, sororities L, S, and T I really liked all of them but L had a crazy rep and I didn't want that association. So S and T it was, and I was really surprised S was my last pick and T was kinda meh on my list but just as I got excited about rush I was dropped. I was totally devastated and I didn't know what I did wrong. In my classes I realized there were a lot of S sisters in my classes and got to know them. At the end of the semester one of the sisters asked me if I would want to be kept on the sorority mailing list and I agreed.
I came out for the informal recruitment in the fall and immediately knew I wanted S or T. With that I went for my first event with S and I just never left, and this time around I made sure I was relaxed and more myself and I fit in with S perfectly! I was still really nervous but went through with pref and on bid day I got my bid! and I love it to death, If you are going out, be yourself, show yourself to your best advantage and enjoy the ride :)

I have not read through all the posts, and I am new here, I'm not going through rush, nor recruitment, and I've never been in a Sorority, but I'm a mom of a young lady who did a number of years ago and what to share from a mom's perspective..

Even before she went off to college she knew she wanted to "Rush" and be apart of something bigger than herself, and wanted to be in a Sorority, she even had in her 'mind' what Sororities she wanted to be a part.

She started her Freshman year during the summer, and had an opportunity to meet sisters of various houses, even many who were 'disaffiliated' during that time--based on those who had not disaffiliated' she made presumptions and had her own preconceived notions about what 'house' was best and what houses these others young ladies 'must be part of."

Come Fall Semester she and her roommate 'rushed' and both had their minds set on 'just what Sorority" they wanted to belong. As "Rush" week goes they were invited back to some and not others--the some they were invited back to wasn't always the one's they had in mind. In the end they were both invited back to one house, not their 'first, second or even third choice" and my daughter called home 'crying' to me that the houses she wanted 'didn't want her' and her roommate did the same with her mother. As Parents, we asked "Does it matter?" In the grand scheme of things, you wanted to be a part of this sisterhood, and you have met many young ladies that you do not even KNOW what house they belong to, and I think YOU will be very surprised to find out...it will be some of those who will be in the house you least expect. Do not prejudge them when you do not even know them, just as you do not like to be 'prejudged' when someone does not know you. So go, and at least check out this house and get to know these "Sisters as people, as individuals and as Sisters"

She joined and was accepted at that house, and found out just what I had told her was true, that those women she 'presumed' were part of another house (based on their looks), were actually from the house she was invited to join, and these women have become her best friends, and she has learned not to judge a person based on looks, clothes, and hair styles.

Since being a member of this house she has spent a summer disaffiliated and others have done the same with her, assumed she was part of a certain house because of her 'looks, style and personality' and they too spent time crying to their mothers, that 'they thought these women were their friends, and how could they not invite them back to 'their house'. She had even told these young women during recruitment,

"Do not assume we belong to a 'certain house' because like me, you too will be surprised by the house we are apart of, and it may or may not be what you 'think'. So if you get an invitation to a house, even if it's not your 'first, second, or third choice' give it a chance--because someone in that house see's something in you that others may have overlooked, and they see it and thus want you for their sister for life."

She will soon be graduating from college, and will miss her sisters greatly, not just those in her own house, but the sisters she has made over the years who belong to other houses as well, and she will also miss her brothers in the Fraternities. She has come to see that being Greek is not just about "your house being a family" but the entire Greek Community is Her extended FAMILY.

Turns out some of her friends she's made along the way who are part of her first choice's told her the reason she wasn't accepted by their house's was her 'hair was to short', but what they did not know was this: she had it cut right before Fall Semester for donation to be made into a "Wig" for those who have lost their hair due to cancer or other diseases. A family friend had lost her hair due to alopecia and asked if she would be willing to help, other friends were shaving their heads for the cause, but she just had a portion of hers cut to help since she didn't want to go back to school 'bald'.

Those sororities and the "they don't meet our criteria, because they don't have hair this long or this color" lost out on having a really great sister, one who was willing to donate not just her time, but a part of herself, her hair, to help a friend and a cause that was important to her...those in the other Sororities who have gotten to know her over the 4 years she's been there..now believe she would have made a great addition to their own homes, and wish she was part of their sorority..some of them still don't know the reason her hair was short during recruitment, but it doesn't matter, she found her home and has been happy there.

WTF?

and she really believes these people????? Wow!

I'm torn between screaming at a sorority losing out on such a quality girl for something so shallow, but it also occurs to me that we (you, your daughter) don't actually know why she wasn't chosen. The hair thing may have been the easiest reason to give and shallow is better than mean.

Nearly 30 years later, the reason I was given for why I was cut by my sister's chapter grates on me. I definitely found my home, but I don't know how much I really believe the excuse I was given because it makes them sounds like buffoons, if not just bitchy. It was something about not being an enthusiastic member. Cuz, you know, 30 years later, president, membership, treasurer, started a chapter from scratch, resurrected one from near collapse, collegiate chapter advisor...

Sorry - something about this doesn't ring true. It has something to do with the added paragraphs and the ellipses. Your initial post was all right but then you came back and added those paragraphs about why your daughter did not get her first choice. And that's where it went off the rails for me. Just sayin'.

"Wig"

For all my fellow sorority members who have just joined their second or third choice!

"Open your heart and dive in" --- never better advice, Violetpretty .... for "back then" as well as now.

I wanted to follow up on my young friend. She did go to bid day, gave it a try for a couple of weeks and depledged. :( I didn't hear from her until the following semester when she repledged!! The chapter had wisely told her that her bid would be waiting for her if she changed her mind, and they invited her over for dinner a few times and to some phil. events. She saw a true sisterhood being offered to her and realized that she had missed out on a whole semester of friendship, support and fun. She also came to realize what a mistake she had made returning that bid.

She has really shown as a member of her sorority. She served as a chapter officer, a recruitment counselor, a SGA member, and several campus committees. Several of these activities would not have been possible had she not re-thought her actions.I am so glad that she started listening to her heart and stopped listening to campus opinions.

Great story - thanks for sharing. It is great that she found and re-discovered her home!

Getting ready for another recruiting season.
Do YOU have a story to share?

Update on my friend. She graduated a few weeks ago with honors and had so many honor cords it was ridiculous, but her prized accessory at her graduation? Her sorority stole.

One daughter's friend went to Auburn absolutely sure that she would be welcomed into their chapter of her legacy sorority. That has rarely happened for Georgia girls we know who go to Auburn. Sure enough, she was cut after second parties.

She pledged another group but she and her mom raged for months. Her new sorority probably never knew, as she hid it, but she was devastated. However, she came to love them. She got a minor office her freshman year and her mom started helping at her daughter's sorority functions, not hers. By the time that the daughter graduated, she had held a couple of major offices and she adored her sorority. Her mom actually told me that having gotten to know the AU chapters, she realized that the place where her daughter ended up was far better for her than mom's chapter. I can say that no doubt she was right.