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Persons with disabilities is really little more than institutional politeness and is all encompassing. The term PC became widespread as a term of derision over the idea that we should have to force the words "Native American" or "firefighter" out of our mouths. Oh. The horror. The Daily Mail can continue to rail against PC gone mad, but it is not hard for me to use the correct words or to acknowledge that I don't get to use the same words that other people do and still be considered polite. /the horrrrrror of PC ohhhh nooooooo //the right term would probably have been "impossible" and/or "irrelevant" |
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The only reason this jumped out at me is because I remember reading that it was only mothers and sisters now and I was surprised that grandmothers were no longer on the list. Obviously a casualty of the growing number of members in recent decades and a need to narrow the potential field. I'm pretty sure we aren't the only ones who have narrowed it to this degree and I'm sure we won't be the last. |
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/and yes yes it does mean that you exclude cousins, aunts, and grandmothers... I'm confused how you wouldn't be excluding them? You're not including them as legacies, right? So... |
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For example, I don't mind saying "Indian" (or "American Indian") and I don't mind saying "Native American." I don't want to offend. But I have been castigated for not saying "Native American" even though I have been told by my "Native American" friends that they don't like to be called that, that they prefer to be called by their tribe or to be called [American] Indians. So what's a person to do, pay attention to people they know or pay attention to those who have decided which term is "correct" and will correct you if you don't follow their lead? (And I'm not saying no one prefers to be called Native American. I'm just saying that friends have told me they don't like to be called Native American, but I'm sure others do prefer it. I'm just trying to be respectful.) And I think PCness goes further than that. Frankly, I think "pledge" vs. "new member" and "rush" vs. "recruitment" can veer into the realm of PC. I'm totally with you on being polite and considerate. But I'm not with you on thinking that there aren't some overzealous political correctness police out there. I've met them all too often. |
Yep, MysticCat. You are right.
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So "exclude" sounds exclusive or negative to me and I'm sure that isn't the intention. It is more about having to decide who to include and given the overwhelming legacy problems so many schools are starting to face, I'm not surprised they chose to narrow the parameters. I bet there was a lot of discussion before the grandmother connection was dropped. |
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People can be misinformed from either side of the spectrum. But think this way if you had one friend who said "American Indian and/or tribal name" and another friend who said "Native American" you'd probably manage to code switch and use the correct words with each. Even if you didn't, your friends would probably understand. If you insisted on saying whatever you preferred because it was 'too hard' to remember or worse to just say 'INJUN' you'd be an asshole. Which, MC, you're not ;) There's a big difference in words used for policy "persons with disabilities" and words used among social groups - where 'cripple' might be ok because it's been kind of reclaimed by an individual or group of individuals. Quote:
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^^^^ My point is that it's not a choice between being offensive and being "PC." This is the statement that I quoted above and that I have a problem with:
If people are using their aversion to PC to justify being offensive, then that's a valid problem. But the fact that some people do that doesn't mean that there aren't real PC police out there. |
Steps aren't specifically mentioned with us either, but chapters are encouraged to give them the courtesies of a legacy as if she were a daughter.
I've seen alumnae send in recs for stepchildren and in the legacy portion (our reference and legacy forms are the same thing) just check "daughter." Especially if the member has been the child's stepmother for a long time (ex: if you've been someone's stepmom since they were 3, they're essentially your daughter.) |
My point was that just because you call someone the "correct" term, doesn't meant that you are also treating them nicely or equally. To put it in Greek terms, you can call people "new members" and still be hazing them in other ways.
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In 33girl's case it was the equivalent of "no disrespect, but," or "I'm not a racist, but." Once those words are said, we all know what's coming next. I'm not going to say "yeah there are 'PC police' because those people are being idiots (even if theoretically well meaning ones at times), and one can hardly call them the PC police when they're being the exact opposite of what "PC" supposedly is. There are assholes who try to correct others' language in an assholy way and they're just assholes, not PC police*. *Actual members of the minority group are excepted from being called assholes just for not being nice about correcting someone. After the billionth time hearing an offensive term, I really don't think anyone's obligated to be nice about it. Quote:
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This is how steps are referenced in our legacy policy:
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That seems to cover both bases: the step who raised a girl since she was 3 would be considered a legacy, since the family defines their relationship as mother-daughter. It would then exclude the 25 year old step-mother when real dad had his mid-life crisis, since clearly that is not a mother/daughter relationship. It also better defines the step-sister situation, since again, some of these step-sisters could have grown up together, whereas others grew up across the country with virtually no interaction. |
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That's not being PC that's being polite. Now, being polite and still treating people like shit still makes you an asshole, but at least you're a polite asshole, I suppose. Example: "Gay and lesbian individuals should not get married because they can't make babies." "African-American families during slavery were better off than they are now." Polite in their language usage but still assholes. Treating people nicely and equally in every way but using the terms that they prefer to call themselves still... makes you an asshole. Example: "You queers can get married now you fudge-packers*." and "N****** are people too." These will not make you friends either. Tl;dr: words and actions both count, so you can't pretend the words are just superfluous. |
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