Patchouli is better than both of those, as well as Axe body spray!

Correction: Only bathe after spending the night with a guy. The water will prevent pregnancy. Unless you were on top, then you won't get pregnant anyway.

It's okay to eat raw meat all the time, it's natural and anything natural is best for you.

Go ahead and reply to the stranger claiming you are an heir to large sums of money and all you have to do is get a check from them for over the amount and send back the difference. It's totally legit.

No means yes. Especially on dates.

Oh and "gullible" really isn't in the dictionary, who knew??

If you like eating organic foods, you will love Organic Chemistry class.

Only black people are accepted into Historically Black Colleges and Universities because, you know, they are literally only for black people.

You must be a Negro (check your census form) to get a scholarship from the UNCF.

Wanna wear your Eli Manning jersey at Lincoln Financial Field? Go for it!

Cats really like having their feet massaged, so do it as often as you can. This applies to the big cats like lions and tigers as well.

Gorillas make great pets. You should also teach them to drink wine with you!

Run with scissors!

^^ That made me giggle. Then I remembered the pic I saw of the little boy who had run while holding a fork. Pic below (linked instead of posted so people who don't want to see it don't have to.)

Click at your own risk. (It's safe for work, but it'll make moms cringe.)

:eek:
Nightmares!

One of my cats actually loves it when we do that to her! No joke.

If you are ever tasked by your manager to do something at work and you really don't want to do it, just say "No!" or "Ugh, can you just do that yourself? I'm on FaceySpace." It shows that you a) can stand up for yourself and b) are way above that work they thought was appropriate to give you. Don't be surprised if a promotion and a raise both follow quickly.

If Domino's doesn't deliver your pizza in 45 minutes or less, you should call and threaten to kill the person who answers the phone. This will not only get your pizza there quicker but the next time you order, you will get a free pizza.

If you work in a lab and you are hungry but can't leave, lick the lab bench.

My cats let me rub their paws.


My advice...no need to get your pets fixed, Bob Barker isn't telling us to anymore, so it must not be important.