Originally Posted by Sphinxie
(Post 2470155)
Having been through this with my daughter, I would say yes, if it's the type of school where it's important to be Greek. My daughter rushed freshman year at a very large state school with 12 chapters. She's attractive, petite, had good high school grades, and was involved in activities. However, hardly anyone from her high school went to that college, so she knew maybe 2-3 sorority members, none well. Nonetheless, she went to the full schedule of parties, including one group considered "top tier," for the first two invitational days.
The day of pref, she got cut by all but two sororities, which, because they're the only unhoused chapters on that campus, are considered lower tier. She says now that, had she not been invited back by the top tier house the day BEFORE pref, she might have had her hopes in a realistic place and stayed for pref. As it was, however, she was simply devastated and quit. I feel like she was also excessively concerned about what her high school friends might think because of Facebook, Instagram, and Greek rank.
She tried to get involved in other activities. She made one friend in -- surprise, surprise -- the better of the two groups she'd rejected. She made a few other friends in another lower tier sorority that cut her at pref. However, it was always a struggle to find someone to go out with. She became increasingly sad and dissatisfied with school.
Junior year, she decided to suck it up and rush again. Due to being a junior, and also, mediocre grades (brought on, in part, by her depression), she ended up being cut by all but one sorority from the first invitational night. The one sorority was the one she'd rejected in the first place, where she'd had a friend. Every day of rush, I hoped and prayed they'd keep inviting her back. The day of pref, when she didn't get "the call," I knew she was safe.
She's been in that rejected sorority for a month now. She's completely happy, and her grades are As and Bs. She's going bowling, to football games, or out with her big sis. Also, can I say that, having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! I went to a smaller, private college with a smaller Greek system (though still in the South), and most of these girls would have gotten into good sororities, based upon their appearance. I don't know what the girls in the top tier sororities must look like!
Also, at her school, all the sororities are roughly the same size. At my university, the "good" sororities were close to total while the lesser ones had fewer members (and because they were overall smaller chapters, fewer members meant 35 girls when total was 55). At this school, sororities have 150+ members. How can you not find anyone you like in 150 members?
I know it's easy to say not to worry about what people think, but if my daughter hadn't worried so much about what mostly anonymous strangers online said about this sorority, she could have been happy for the past two years. I feel like it's better to join a lower-tier sorority than none at all. You can always quit.
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