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-   -   Too fat to recruit: or, DePauw, the Sequel (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=88145)

kathykd2005 06-27-2007 11:54 AM

To say that ALL of the NPC groups are only concerned with Recruitment is a gross generalization that is not necessarily true. That is all that I am saying. I sincerely doubt that all of the national executive councils are foaming at the mouth for more members. I doubt very much that anyone on here knows every one of the NPC's members, and if you do, then more power to you. Again, it's statements like these that make our organizations look so superficial to outsiders.

33girl 06-27-2007 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005 (Post 1475376)
To say that ALL of the NPC groups are only concerned with Recruitment is a gross generalization that is not necessarily true. That is all that I am saying. I sincerely doubt that all of the national executive councils are foaming at the mouth for more members. I doubt very much that anyone on here knows every one of the NPC's members, and if you do, then more power to you. Again, it's statements like these that make our organizations look so superficial to outsiders.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Have some of the groups proposed getting rid of the quota/total system?

I agree that there are some NPC MEMBERS who could care less about numbers being huge - after all, everyone in an NPC sorority is an NPC member.

kathykd2005 06-27-2007 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1475394)
I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Have some of the groups proposed getting rid of the quota/total system?

I agree that there are some NPC MEMBERS who could care less about numbers being huge - after all, everyone in an NPC sorority is an NPC member.

Did I say getting rid of quota and total? No. I just said that like NPHC groups, who care more about their sisterhood than about numbers, so, too, do many NPC organizations. No, I did not say they view recruitment in the exact same way. What I'm saying is that recruitment for all NPC groups is not necessarily just superficial. I hope that clarifies a bit more.

violetpretty 06-27-2007 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination (Post 1475174)
Quality over quantity is just an excuse for poor recruitment. Your chapter can have both if everyone works for it.

Amen.

ETA: I'll qualify that by agreeing that I agree with the statement in reference to large schools.

honeychile 06-27-2007 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination (Post 1475174)
Quality over quantity is just an excuse for poor recruitment. Your chapter can have both if everyone works for it.


Definitely signature-worthy.

33girl 06-27-2007 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005 (Post 1475426)
Did I say getting rid of quota and total? No. I just said that like NPHC groups, who care more about their sisterhood than about numbers, so, too, do many NPC organizations. No, I did not say they view recruitment in the exact same way. What I'm saying is that recruitment for all NPC groups is not necessarily just superficial. I hope that clarifies a bit more.

I don't think it's a question of "caring more." I think that when you bring in a large amount of women at the postgraduate level, as NPHC does, you don't have to be quite as concerned if the numbers of your collegiate chapters are smaller. If AI for NPC groups ever got as popular as NPHC graduate membership is, I'm betting the pressure on collegiate chapters to fulfill total and quota would lessen considerably, if not disappear altogether.

kathykd2005 06-27-2007 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1475469)
I don't think it's a question of "caring more." I think that when you bring in a large amount of women at the postgraduate level, as NPHC does, you don't have to be quite as concerned if the numbers of your collegiate chapters are smaller. If AI for NPC groups ever got as popular as NPHC graduate membership is, I'm betting the pressure on collegiate chapters to fulfill total and quota would lessen considerably, if not disappear altogether.

Agreed.

banditone 06-27-2007 02:16 PM

Perhaps their nationals should put forth a "rush weight limit" for members to adher to. :rolleyes:

BetteDavisEyes 06-27-2007 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banditone (Post 1475495)
Perhaps their nationals should put forth a "rush weight limit" for members to adher to. :rolleyes:


LOL! ;)

cuteASAbug 06-27-2007 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 1475340)
Omigosh - I know of one poor woman who went through SIX recruitments, never got a bid, but then became President of a colony when she was a senior. We saw her standing outside of a house after Pref one time, and were happy to see that she was going to get a bid, but I guess they opted not to do so, as they were still under quota (holy run-on sentence, Batman!).

ETA: She wasn't the least bit overweight, either!

You'd think that after several unsuccesful recruitments you'd get the hint and stop trying.

SydneyK 06-27-2007 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banditone (Post 1475495)
Perhaps their nationals should put forth a "rush weight limit" for members to adher to. :rolleyes:

hijack-

That reminds me of a thread from years ago (I searched a little, but didn't find it) where someone was joking about there being a secret scale under the floor, and there was a total chapter weight that couldn't be exceeded, so membership selection was based on who could keep the chapter under the set limit. Anyone else remember that post?

-end hijack

AlphaFrog 06-27-2007 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug (Post 1475502)
You'd think that after several unsuccesful recruitments you'd get the hint and stop trying.

I wonder if she ended up AIing.

DeltaBetaBaby 06-27-2007 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00 (Post 1474152)
GPA and being put on probation is WAY different than being told to hide in the corner during rush. I was once on academic probation and I think it was the best thing possible because the sorority motivated me to do better and study my ass off. Telling someone they can't be in view during rush hurts and is subjective rather than looking at someone's GPA which is objective.

Healthy weight is not subjective. There are guidelines published by many government and professional bodies. Motivating a sister to lose weight may be even better for her in the long run than motivating her to raise her GPA.

kathykd2005 06-27-2007 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banditone (Post 1475495)
Perhaps their nationals should put forth a "rush weight limit" for members to adher to. :rolleyes:

For the love of all things precious, please tell me you are kidding. I am gathering that you are!

cuteASAbug 06-27-2007 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1475509)
I wonder if she ended up AIing.

No, she joined a colony her senior year. It's in honeychile's original post.

33girl 06-27-2007 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 1475537)
Motivating a sister to lose weight may be even better for her in the long run than motivating her to raise her GPA.

Or it may cause her to develop an eating disorder.

But hey, as long as rush goes well, that's what's important!

kathykd2005 06-27-2007 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1475541)
Or it may cause her to develop an eating disorder.

But hey, as long as rush goes well, that's what's important!

True--motivating is different from telling someone to stay away from recruitment altogether. Motivation is like: Hey, I'm going to the gym, want to come with me? I love our conversations! Being callous is like: Stay away from recruitment, because we don't want any new girls to think we're the oinkers because of you. :(

banditone 06-27-2007 03:07 PM

How about if you get together and move the "house treadmill" so it is sitting right outside the offending sisters room?

kathykd2005 06-27-2007 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banditone (Post 1475546)
How about if you get together and move the "house treadmill" so it is sitting right outside the offending sisters room?

:eek:

Tom Earp 06-27-2007 03:24 PM

OMG, what a neat non fat compared to fat people being wanted.:cool:

Would really want me want to be in a Female GLO!:o

Frumpy may not be for life. The point should be what can this girl do to help our Sorority!

Does she have more inside her than just the exterior trappings. Noooo, if no looks you suck attitude. To sad.:eek:

I am so sure that each poster fells drop dead gorgus of course!:p

Good luck in the future when your waist line is bigger than the IQ you think you have?:o

banditone 06-27-2007 03:33 PM

Earp. You outdid yourself sir.

33girl 06-27-2007 03:35 PM

You're completely missing the point.

Maybe they can "hide" women during rush, but then all of a sudden the sorority that had 50 skinny girls during the parties has 50 skinny girls and 20 fat girls at bid day.

If you were a new pledge, wouldn't you feel a little bit like someone was trying to pull the wool over your eyes?

KSUViolet06 06-27-2007 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination (Post 1475563)
Here is why the overweight girl MUST be "hidden":

At a school with a competitive greek system, image is everything. All the sisters of all the sororities dress their best and look their best during rush. So you end up with most girls looking good and wearing designer clothing. Because they all do that, there is a level playing field.

The rushees don't care about what the girls are wearing because it's all expensive. One element of superficial rush is gone.
All the sisters spend so much time getting themselves all done up, so they are lookin' good! Another element of superficial rush is gone- all the sororities have attractive girls!

But, WAIT!

This one sorority has some fat girls. There must be something undesirable about them because this house is DIFFERENT from the rest.

It's unfortunate, but sometimes necessary.

This post actually really put the situation in perspective for me. I'm not from a highly competitve recruitment school, so it's hard for me to understand why there would be pressure to hide girls who are large. It seems as if in order to compete, the playing field must be completely level. If you are on a campus full of huge chapters, and you are already smaller, it seems to me like you can't afford to be "set apart" from the other sororities by the size of the women in your group.

Not saying that this practice is something that I agree with, but this did help me to understand the rationale behind it.


BetteDavisEyes 06-27-2007 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1475570)
If you were a new pledge, wouldn't you feel a little bit like someone was trying to pull the wool over your eyes?


Yes. If I were a new member, and all of a sudden I saw a bunch of girls who were mysteriously missing throughout recruitment, I'd probably wonder why they weren't around and if all the missing girls happened to be bigger than a size 6, then I'd downright get pissed...but that's just me. Obviously, everyone else would react differently.

SydneyK 06-27-2007 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueNYC2 (Post 1475575)
smh @ today's youth...i'm not even 30 yet, but damn, i feel sad for you youngsters today

I'm over 30, and it isn't just today's youth. SEC rush is a completely different beast than non-SEC rush. SECdomination was just telling it like it is. And while it isn't as nice and pc as we'd like it to be, at least she's telling the truth.

I'm not trying to say it's right. I'm just saying it's nothing new.

Tom Earp 06-27-2007 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banditone (Post 1475568)
Earp. You outdid yourself sir.

Why thank my friend!:)

What do you drink and what kind of Cigar do you desire.

Come visit KC, BBQ, toddies, and a fine smoke!:D

Oh well, it must be a girl thing from all of the swell feelings? Oh, FAT people do not have those from what I am seeing here!

adpiucf 06-27-2007 03:51 PM

I realize I come from one of the "larger" chapters, but in all honesty... recruitment is a blur. You maybe meet 10 women in the chapter during the week, and prob. only remember half of them. Come Bid Day, there are a lot of strange faces.

If it's as drastic as 30% of the chapter disappearing and reappearing on Bid Day, and those members looking drastically different than the rest, ok, that's weird. At that point I'd call shennigans.

But in a typical recruitment, there are several sisters who can be missing from the floor for several reasons: behind-the-scenes work, study abroad, medical, emergency, conflict with athletics/band, etc. I don't think anyone can legitimately feel cheated on Bid Day-- you still have a couple dozen sisters and a couple dozen new members to get to know.

As far as the heavier women in your chapter-- I don't think it's a weight issue-- it's an issue of how you carry yourself.

At the end of the day, recruitment is a very superficial process-- you are having the most basic surface conversations, after all. If you are bidded, you have a 6 week period (approx) to determine if you're in the right place or not. Granted, you may not have an opportunity to re-rush in the future, but you're not locked in if the sorority you thought you were joining turns out to be something else.

And if anyone finds that unfair or horrible-- well, don't rush at those schools. It's not going to change-- you're trying to bring in 18-20 year olds as your members and you're trying to appeal to what's important to them. Sad as it sounds, while many are in it for the academics/sisterhood/service aspect, the look of a chapter can heavily influence someone of this age.

Those of us who are a little older may find the whole process silly or disturbing, but we aren't their target demo.

33girl 06-27-2007 04:07 PM

There are ways to "take one for the team" other than telling someone to not come to rush at all. From what I'm getting, the national consultant didn't even suggest kitchen duty or ask the women of the chapter what a good way to deal w/ this would be - she just said DON'T COME TO RUSH AT ALL.

And if this chapter IS ALREADY APPRECIABLY SMALLER THAN THE OTHERS, which apparently is the case, the rushees are going to notice that anyway. I'm sorry, but if anyone, national consultants or chapter officers or advisors, think the rushees won't notice this chapter has 80 girls while the other chapters have 200, they are too stupid to exist. That in and of itself is "different" enough to scare rushees away from the chapter, if we're operating on the principle that different = kiss of death.

Bottom line, if your chapter's numbers are a lot smaller than the other groups' to begin with, keeping the "image impaired" ladies away from rush isn't going to help your recruitment. You have to explain it in some way and it would be better to use your time thinking of a positive spin to put on that than figuring out who's skinny enough to rush and who is not.

ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl 06-27-2007 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1475616)
There are ways to "take one for the team" other than telling someone to not come to rush at all. From what I'm getting, the national consultant didn't even suggest kitchen duty or ask the women of the chapter what a good way to deal w/ this would be - she just said DON'T COME TO RUSH AT ALL.

And if this chapter IS ALREADY APPRECIABLY SMALLER THAN THE OTHERS, which apparently is the case, the rushees are going to notice that anyway. I'm sorry, but if anyone, national consultants or chapter officers or advisors, think the rushees won't notice this chapter has 80 girls while the other chapters have 200, they are too stupid to exist. That in and of itself is "different" enough to scare rushees away from the chapter, if we're operating on the principle that different = kiss of death.

Bottom line, if your chapter's numbers are a lot smaller than the other groups' to begin with, keeping the "image impaired" ladies away from rush isn't going to help your recruitment. You have to explain it in some way and it would be better to use your time thinking of a positive spin to put on that than figuring out who's skinny enough to rush and who is not.

Great post.

I still fail to understand why after decades and decades of this no one will even lift one finger to change it...one person can't do it, but a lot could. Probably not drastically. And probably not even in ten years. But EVENTUALLY the Greek system could become something that those of us that have (and had at 18) a value system that doesn't involve judging someone on nothing but their appearance won't be ASHAMED of. Because let me tell you...it does embarass me to be lumped in with the SEC crowd. It's not one that I in general want to be associated with. I support the values of the founders, the ideals of the organizations...but I don't support the current atmosphere. At all. Because it, based on what I've seen and heard, does not mesh in any way with what the organizations were founded for.

dgdramadawg 06-27-2007 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination (Post 1475563)
Here is why the overweight girl MUST be "hidden":

At a school with a competitive greek system, image is everything. All the sisters of all the sororities dress their best and look their best during rush. So you end up with most girls looking good and wearing designer clothing. Because they all do that, there is a level playing field.
The rushees don't care about what the girls are wearing because it's all expensive. One element of superficial rush is gone.
All the sisters spend so much time getting themselves all done up, so they are lookin' good! Another element of superficial rush is gone- all the sororities have attractive girls!
But, WAIT!
This one sorority has some fat girls. There must be something undesirable about them because this house is DIFFERENT from the rest.

Would you NPC women drift away from the norm for first round parties and get all emotional about your sisterhood? No. Because it would be DIFFERENT from the others.

It's unfortunate, but sometimes necessary.

SECdomination, you make great points here, ones that us SEC women (and women from other competitive schools) will be able to totally grasp... and maybe even some women from non-competitive schools, too, who can realize the big gap between everyone-is-PC-and-nice-to-everyone recruitment and competitive RUSH. I get the idea that a lot of posters live in Fantasy Land where this isn't the way it is and they can't seem to understand that no matter how much we don't like it and don't think it's "nice," it's not going to change (at least no time soon). Women outside of competitive recruitments like to post about how it "should" be, but they haven't experienced it from the inside so it's hard for them to see how unchangeable these attitudes are on these campuses.

dgdramadawg 06-27-2007 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1475616)
And if this chapter IS ALREADY APPRECIABLY SMALLER THAN THE OTHERS, which apparently is the case, the rushees are going to notice that anyway. I'm sorry, but if anyone, national consultants or chapter officers or advisors, think the rushees won't notice this chapter has 80 girls while the other chapters have 200, they are too stupid to exist. That in and of itself is "different" enough to scare rushees away from the chapter, if we're operating on the principle that different = kiss of death.

Bottom line, if your chapter's numbers are a lot smaller than the other groups' to begin with, keeping the "image impaired" ladies away from rush isn't going to help your recruitment. You have to explain it in some way and it would be better to use your time thinking of a positive spin to put on that than figuring out who's skinny enough to rush and who is not.

You make a great point here. If the chapter has 100 as opposed to another chapter's 150, one missing member might not be a huge deal because the chapter isn't THAT much smaller. But what if the chapter does have 80 when the others have 200? At a lot of schools, in-the-know PNMs are probably going in planning to cut this house after round one anyway, so it probably wouldn't help or hurt to have this member rushing people.

AlphaFrog 06-27-2007 05:12 PM

I'm surprised in the PC-ness that NPC is becoming, they don't make a rule that all sororities can only have as many rushers on the floor as the number of members of the smallest chapter on campus. That way PNMs aren't judging on size.

I think it would be going completely PC-overboard, but I can't say that I don't eventually see it happening.

33girl 06-27-2007 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1475670)
I'm surprised in the PC-ness that NPC is becoming, they don't make a rule that all sororities can only have as many rushers on the floor as the number of members of the smallest chapter on campus. That way PNMs aren't judging on size.

I think it would be going completely PC-overboard, but I can't say that I don't eventually see it happening.

Some schools already do this for activity days or the first Meet the Greeks type round - you can only have 15 or however many sisters at the table. Obviously, though, once you go to the next round you realize who has 20 and who has 95.

Unless you mean doing it for all of rush, and (depending on the group's voting rules) that might go against some groups' bylaws. That is - if everyone can only have 20 members rushing cause that's the size of the smallest chapter, the larger ones might only have 1/4 of their members who have met the PNMs. Either they wouldn't be able to vote anyone in or PNMs would have to be voted on sight unseen.

Yikes. Talk about a cluster#$%k.

dgdramadawg 06-27-2007 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination (Post 1475684)
Haha, I'm definately NOT a woman. I just noticed how popular this thread was and thought I'd better tell it how it is. Besides, would a woman really write that?

Haha, we just figured only a girl would understand. ;)

Tom Earp 06-27-2007 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg (Post 1475692)
Haha, we just figured only a girl would understand. ;)

Maybe that is the problem, High I am a Barbi and I should fit!


Or not!;)

Maybe small minds fit?:confused:

dgdramadawg 06-27-2007 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp (Post 1475700)
Maybe that is the problem, High I am a Barbi and I should fit!

Or not!;)

Maybe small minds fit?:confused:

It's hard for people from outside a system to understand why it works the way it works. Since SECdomination really seems to get it and a lot of guys don't (because fraternity rush is so different), SydneyK and I assumed he was a chick. But I'm guessing he has a lot of friends in sororities and just has a good understanding of how things work in our recruitment.

Does this answer what you're asking? Your post makes very little sense.

FSUZeta 06-27-2007 07:18 PM

folks, it is not just in recruitment. i distinctly remember reading an aol story a year or two ago that showed statistics on how overweight people are discriminated against in both hirings and promotions.

dgdramadawg 06-27-2007 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta (Post 1475729)
folks, it is not just in recruitment. i distinctly remember reading an aol story a year or two ago that showed statistics on how overweight people are discriminated against in both hirings and promotions.

I remember reading a similar story where an executive said that he considered people who were more conventionally attractive for positions that involved in-person interaction with clients (while he didn't mind hiring people who were less attractive for positions where interaction was over the phone). Sad, and I can't relate because in my career weight and attractiveness aren't really issues, but I guess in some careers that is the way it is. I suppose I can't really comment on how unfair it is because I don't work in a field where it matters.

Low C Sharp 06-27-2007 09:07 PM

You're saying that your friends wanted to be pi chis because they just can't stand being at selection meetings any more?

Or are you saying that their chapters wanted them to be pi chis because they were fighting with the rest of the chapter at selection time?
________
TorrieLynn cam

carnation 06-27-2007 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination (Post 1475752)
A couple of my good friends (from top chapters, mind you) are going to be Pi Chis (Rho Gammas?) this year. I asked why, and I got a very long lesson on the ins and outs of sorority rush.
Apparantly, the bid meetings are brutal and end with many crying girls threating to quit...

Oh, I hear that all the time, especially that seniors fight to be counselors.


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