the next time a dark-skinned person says you are pretty/cute/nice looking to be so dark...

..say "so are you!"

i hate nothing more than to be reminded that i am dark. yes, i look in the mirror every single day so i dont need to be told that. yes, i am a good looking woman. those two things should never be in the same sentence/statement. one has nothing to do with the other.

i find this puzzling.

i don't like the comment "you're pretty to be so dark" but at the same time i don't mind "being reminded" that i am dark-skinned.

i don't have a problem acknowledging within myself that i am dark-skinned. that's what your post sounded like and if i am way off base I apologize. :confused:

I am not dark skinned, but when I hear someone make a comment like that I get pissed!! Someone said that about my grandmother (they were looking at a picture of her from back in the day) and I wanted to deck them.

What is the problem with being dark-skinned :confused: ?

Dark AND Lovely :D

^^^
 

I don't like it either when folks belittle darker complexion folks. It cuts my heart terribly so...

Well, I am about as pasty-white as you can get (sorry to crash, but the title was eye-catching).

But, my dad lived in the Carribean (D.R.) for 17 years so I spent alot of time there, and they are very hung up on light vs. dark down there. To some extent, most everyone is a person of color, but the combinations are really extensive. Light eyes with dark skin but euro features, bright skin with dark eyes and more African features, probably more 'differences' than in the States.

But I always thought it was strange they way the people would say how 'bonita' a girl was just becasue she was light, even if she wasn't all that pretty. But a woman with very dark skin didn't get as much attention, even if she was gorgeous!

Anyway, I am white(did I mention pasty?:) ), and probably shouldn't have chimed in, but I was kind of surprised that that kind of thing is an issue here, too.

Thanks for letting a newbie post.

Yes, sweetheart, it has been going on for a long time.

Thanks for your kind reply. I saw some posts where new people get kind of reamed. I guess no matter who you are , people feel like they have to divide into groups, and then groups within groups. It seems wrong, but I guess , like you said, it's been going on a long time. :(

I don't know why anyone would "ream" you for stating the obvious. Most of us know this happens, it has been happening for a long time and yes, it is wrong.

I don't like it when folks on GC compare complexions...

Oh, goodness, not about just that, but about any kind of post. I have enjoyed reading all of the posts and finally wanted to join in. But was a little afraid. That was silly, because you are very kind!

Also, I am sorry that people do that...I have NO idea about it and don't pretend to . But I do know it happens in other places, too.

Have a good night. :)

did everyone hear about the set of parties cancelled in Detroit. The first party was going to give free admission to light skinned Black women and Libras.

They were going to have "Sexy Chocolate" and "Sexy caramel" parties later on, but cancelled due to the controversy, dude says he didn't expect this kinda of feedback :rolleyes:

I read on another message board that they were planning on doing a "Good Hair Party" :eek::eek::eek: but dunno how valid that is.

Can you give us some links? I think he was trying to show some social discrepancies and discriminations and make money off of it, but it somehow backfired.

I think these things are foul.

Please give us some links.

ETA:
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll...ETRO/710120405
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/wayof....ap/index.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21367799/

There are some others this is the link to the AOL search I did:
http://aolsearch.aol.com/aol/search?query=detroit%20light%20skinned%20Black%20w omen%20and%20Libras%20party

Interesting to be honest it was stupid, but I wonder if this would have been the opposite say if all "Sexy Chocalate Sistas" in free first would it be as controversial.:confused:

if it was "sexy chocolate" night then i think EVERY shade of cocoa would have found a way to get in free. People claiming "white chocolate" or "milk chocolate" or "dark chocolate"....ya know?

the whole light/dark thing gives me headaches sometimes. SOMETIMES its like the dark sisters are complaining from a sense of inferiority that no one has placed upon them but themselves - i am dark so i guess i'm allowed to say that. i dont know any light sistas who think they're better than ___, but i know plenty of dark sistas who THINK that light sistas think they are. :confused:

I know a few light skinned sistahs who have said that about me and I have a medium brown complexion.

I actually prefer having a darker complexion because I think I look healthier.

What is funny, when I was in Hawaii 2 weeks ago, some kids were playing in the ocean lagoon and I walked by to see a beached sea turtle. One of the kids were may have been Hawaiian exclaimed, "look at how BLACK she is"... There was no reason to be angry, because I dunno if they knew what they were saying, but I found it rather silly and ironic.

I'm always amazed, even now, at how much stock some of us still put in skin tones.

Over the summer, I was at a family wedding when a cousin I hadn't seen in about 15 years was discussing various family members--and their skin tones! Maybe I'm naive, but I had never thought about my uncles and aunts in terms of who was the darkest and lightest. But, apparently she had! She also told me and my sister how "lucky" we were to have been born with green and hazel eyes. :eek:

This is stirring up family memories. :rolleyes:

I have always heard about girls with 'pretty hair'. Apparently, my elders were evolved enough not to say "good hair", but the plain truth is 'pretty' was the subsitute for 'good'. The subtle (or not-so-subtle!) implication was that the compliment was intended only for those with LONG, straight hair. One's hair couldn't be pretty and short / nappy -- those identifiers were mutually-exclusive.

Another interesting identifier was the concept of the "cute black girl'.... kind of like the skewed concepts of the 'woman doctor', 'male hos', and 'white trash'.

Finally -- As a young girl, I used to hear this in Mississippi if a woman was unattractive but fair-complected..... "That's just some yellow throwed away!" Has anyone else ever heard that?

I heard this from my grandmother (who is color struck as all get out)--she was talking about my cousin's new wife.
"She is ugly because she is too black." WTF? I have also heard her say about someone: "She is so black but she is pretty."


That is like hearing someone say: "she has a pretty face but she is so fat"

I came this close to calling my grandmother out and telling her that she should be ashamed of herself

Do we have the same grandmother?

She would only let me play in the shade as a child so I would stay light...

I think she really likes my daughter so much becuase she is light with "good" hair :rolleyes:

Wonderful, I think we have the same grandmother, sisterfriend! If not, they gotta be related (my grandma is 1 of 12 kids). :)

I am rather dark and I kept hearing the stay out of the sun. I love the sun and the ocean...not gonna happen

WTH is "good hair"?. If it is on your head and you like it, it is GOOD HAIR

I swear...we can be our own worst enemy at times.

I'm curious about something however - do you think issues of class and color seem to 'rise' to the surface of our consciousness more in tough economic times?

It's almost as if we're all "doing OK" economically, we're not really focused on class and color as much.

But, when dollars get tight, if appears as if we revert back to the 'ole ye' time and start finding ways to self segregate.

I just had a funny experience today. An older white lady was in Sephora with her (assuming) grandkids who were black. The kids were playing in the makeup while grandmother was at the counter. They put foundation on that was about 4 shades lighter than their skin. When grandmother turned around and saw them, she said 'you 2 getting ready for Halloween?' The older girl (about 6 yrs. old) said 'we're pretty little white girls now.' The grandmother just took them and left. The sad thing is that I'm sure they've heard that from the adults they're around and they'll grow up feeling inferior because of it.

This little guy, is my nephew... His mother is caucasian and his father is Black and has a medium dark brown complexion like me. We all truly love this young man, but his mother refuses to accept his diverse heritage in both her interactions and friendships with various children. But, that is how his father, my brother, wanted it. My nephew actually has features reminscent to a combination of both my mother and father's and his mother families' genetics. The prominent features are his forehead and nose and some facial shaping that are distinctly AKA_Monet's family...

http://images.kodakgallery.com/photo...7505_0_ALB.jpg

Can't see the pic..:(

The first couple of days of school I was in the financial aid office and there was a young white girl with a mixed looking baby with her calling her mommy. the majority of the black guys that were in there started talking saying


" see that is why i want me a white girl so i can have some pretty children"

all of the other guys in the room followed saying

"yeah, man i know what you are talking about, that is a beutiful lil' girl"

Why do people think they have to get pregnant or have a baby by a white person in order to be considered beautiful. Why are they so afraid their children will be dark skinned? I think this is just ignorance and someone needs to raise thier children correctly without superficial thoughts like that. :mad:

OMG, Thank you!
It kinda peeves me when people know you are in an interracial relationship/marriage and trying to conceive/ are pregnant they say, "you are going to have beautiful children". WTF? :mad:

Makes me wanna holler

WoW!!! Those guys sound like they will be future daddies to multiple mothers.
I'll have beautiful kids cause I have the beautiful gene.

Yup, we will see them on future episodes of Maury :D

That annoys me too because ugly children can happen to anyone.

Sistahfriend, ain't that the truth?
last year after my miscarriage, someone did express their sympathies (which is all good) but then they added "that's too bad, it would have been a pretty child"

WTF? You should have quit while you were ahead! I was just too stunned

Oh man, about two weeks ago, the boy and I were at an event...one of the waiters, who's from the same area of the world as the boy, tried to convince him to have a kid with me! :eek: He was all, "my girlfriend is Dominican, and our kids are gorgeous." The girlfriend was a waitress at the club too, and he brought her over to show us! She also tried to convince us how beautiful our kids would be.

I thought it was hilarious until I remembered that some people have to go through this nonsense every day.

Good Evening all,

This post is right on time for me... I'm a beautiful dark-skinned Black woman who feels that we're all beautiful in our own way... I was raised to think that being dark skinned was wrong and I've been asked if I was adopted since I could remember (my mom is caramel, my older and younger sisters are light/medium brown, my dad is really dark, but he wasn't around)... It took a while for me to embrace this God-given beauty, but it happened... As a people (all people, all races) we still have a problem with skin color... it's sad, but true... The only solution to this problem (it's ideal, but not so real) is to just love people for who they are... It may not be that easy for everyone, but if you wanna get over it, then you'll do it...

I've received compliments for having long, permed, good hair and I've been called "pretty for a black girl"... I recently cut my long, permed hair and I'm natural (which is a whole 'nother ball game entirely)... In the end, I'm just me... Question: Why is it that I'm more accepted as a dark skinned woman with shoulder length permed hair, but overlooked or shunned for having natural hair?


While I was an undergrad (Sociology major) at a predominantly white institution, I took a class called Racism in American Society... The professor was AWESOME... On the first day of class, she put everyone in order from lightest to darkest... As a Black woman, I was proud to stand at the darkest end of the spectrum (If I'd been light skinned I'd be proud there, too!)... Funny thing is, there were people who were clearly darker than me who didn't want to be the darkest person in the class... They looked ashamed and moved closer to the middle of the spectrum... The professor gave money to the 6 darkest students in the class... It was an experiment to show whites/lighter skinned people how it felt to be rewarded solely on the basis of skin color....

I STILL HAVE MY DOLLAR 3 YEARS LATER....

This experiment touched me and made me look @ PEOPLE differently....

It's just my thoughts :)

Exactly. My kids will be gorgeous for the same reason.

The guy who could be my babies' daddy (not that I would do that at this point) is fair skinned, and we would have beautiful children--but that's because we are both pretty good looking.

Ugly is a genetic trait. Flav and some random white girl will not equal pretty babies; just light skinned crickets.

Your teacher is the best. (ps im glad you know your true self worth:) )

http://www.siyclone.com/forum//style...ault/dead3.gif

You know you are so wrong for that (but it was funny)