Mods, can this thread be moved to Recruitment stories?

suiciding
 

My daughter is getting very confused. She is very sick. Found out her roommate has cats and she's allergic. Hasn't been sleeping at all due to wheezing at night. I think lack of sleep is really confusing her along with all the daily decision makiing. She sent me a text this morning and said she is considering the suicide thing. Picking only one sorority and if she doesn't get that she's done. I told her I thought it was a bad idea but would like help from people who know better. She got 12 houses round two and six for today. She likes all of them. I think it's crazy to do the suicide. Help. I need it before she gets done today. I think it's her exhaustion talking.

If she likes them all, then why would she even consider suiciding? If she really would be happy at any of the houses she has left, especially having a full slate of invitations, then I would agree with you that it is crazy to do suicide. Of course, I personally think it's crazy for anyone to suicide unless they would honestly be MISERABLE at any house besides their preference. But that's just my humble opinion.

Suiciding should really be done only when you only like one sorority and would never under a million years accept a bid from any of the other sororities on campus. If your daughter likes all of the sororities that invited her back, I strongly don't recommend suiciding.

Thanks for the help. I'm texting her again now.

I am sorry things are so crazy right now. I do want to clarify the information in this post. AOII does not call alumnae for every girl cut who had a rec. That would be impossible. That courtesy is (in most cases) reserved for legacies. In that case, the chapter would most likely not tell why the PNM was cut, only that the girl was cut. Again, that would only be for a legacy. I hope things work out for your daughter.

Your instincts are good. As others have said, at a school like UGA, this may very well be her only opportunity to join a sorority. She should only suicide if she is willing to accept not being Greek at all rather than accepting a bid from the other chapters. The fact that you mentioned that she likes all of them indicates that this is probably not the case. Please encourage her to reconsider this since her current exhaustion may have important long-term consequences for her.

Ever been to Vegas and put all your money on one roll? You only do it if you are willing to walk away empty handed. In other words, visualize Clint Eastwood standing there saying,
"Do you feel Lucky, Miss?"

Re: the allergies, buy a Hepa air filter for the dorm and aim it at her bed (small ones are around $100). I had to do this for D when her RM had a cat back home. My allergist said cat hair stays for 3-5 years before losing it's dander so the sooner the better.

Not feeling well, wheezing, lack of sleep, cat-tivating roommate, emotions on edge...not the best scenario for an 18 year old to make wise decisions, is it? Recruitment can be brutal, even under the best of circumstances, so it's no wonder they just want the decisions to be over!

But I think your instincts are correct, Mom. Unless she would be miserable in any house but that ONE, then she should MAXIMIZE her options and return to every house, rank every chapter she visits, particularly this early in the game. If after prefs, she knows she would rather not be greek than to pledge a certain house, that's different. Even then, it's a tough decision to make on campuses that lean toward freshmen for NMs and don't do much informal recruiting because everyone makes quota/total.

Totally not related to recruitment, but I have to ask this- is her roommate even allowed to have cats in the dorm?

It's probably not the actual cat, but all her stuff has cat dander on it.

The kitty in question wouldn't necessarily have to be present to be potent. Cat hair on clothing, luggage, backpacks, etc. would still carry dander for several years.

That's exactly what I was wondering!

Add another to everyone saying that suiciding is a terrible idea.

Yep. Unless you'd rather run headfirst into a brick wall than accept another sorority, you probably shouldn't suicide.

as a former Rho Chi
 

I too agree that suiciding is NOT a good idea unless your daughter feels that the remaining choices are totally and completely wretched. Which is probably not the case. I can't verify UGA's rules, but she could always go through with several options and if her bid card is something she doesn't like, don't sign it assuming she keeps getting several invites. Suiciding is not a smart idea if you can help it.

I'll be glad to answer other Rho Chi type questions if you need me to.....