Therapy won't necessarily keep couples together, but it's only partially designed to. Therapy can help people make the decision whether to work things out or break it off, and if they do divorce it can make it a much more amiable experience which is better for all parties, particularly the kids.

No, did not mean to suggest that.

I was just pointing out that in a certain religious context marriage can be- and has often been- used to promote the submission of one party to another in a way that is ultimately harmful in many cases.

One of the beauties of the luxurious life we lead today is that a person does not have to get married or stay married because it is the only way to have a secure future.

But that also lends itself to an abuse of the institution.

Still I think that is okay, because two good people who get married will make the best of it- regardless of the final outcome.

I'm curious what you all think are "frivolous" reasons for divorce? Which problems can be fixed that people get divorced over? Yeah, like Brittney Spears first marriage was a frivolous marriage and divorce, but outside of celebrities, what makes you think that people don't work very hard to try to make it work before they give up on it?

Oh I agree - I wasn't really ripping therapy or counseling in general, just this overbearing "Candyland" view of its efficacy without regard to the situation that seems pervasive. It's the "Dr. Phil Corollary", if you will.

wow, this certainly was a nasty post, and not at all cheerful. Not to mention, if you kept meeting the same men & women the chance of catching AIDS would go way down.

Problems cannot be fixed if BOTH people aren't willing to work at it. My best friend wanted to work out the problems in her marriage, but her husband did not. She had no choice. She certainly didn't want to get divorced.

it's not really that high, it is just reported as that way.

that 50% stat people spew is way off, they used too small of a sample, and only followed people that got married that year. That doesn't mean that 50% marriages ended in divorse, only half an already small sample

They took the sign down citing zoning reasons, whatever that means. The ad is a little tasteless, especially to those getting divorced for more legitimate reasons, rather than that they just want to marry someone hotter!

Gwirl, your real question is what folks think are "frivolous" reasons to get married... Because you can only get divorced if you were married...

But folks break up in relationships all the time due to "legion" reasons.

Kids these days--and a kid is under 25 in my eyes--think that working hard on a relationship is sharing your myspace page with your significant other...

When bills cannot be paid because one person depleted the bank account happens, it is easier to logically come to the conclusion that a pair-bond should end... So why work hard to try to make it work before they give up on it?

Whereas, really, the logic should be placed, first, without romantic blinders, on HOW mates overall spending habits and values before formalizing and legalizing a pair-bond relationship. Then when a bank depletion occurs, each person can come to a rationalization that each other has these different cultural norms to progress to a mutually beneficial relationship...

Basically, until my husband and I sat down with a financial advisor, our relationship was headed for disaster. But my husband began to understand my financial values and goals, whereas, I began to understand his financial values and goals. We would have been better off if we had done that before we were married. But we did not. So a word to the wise:

No Romance Without Finance is a Nuisance...

Very well said! A relative of mine spent 10 years paying off bills and restoring her credit after a former spouse did his damage. It amazed me to see just what he was able to get away with and leave her responsible to take care of.

I don't look on this as "unromantic" as it were, though some might think it a bit cold and calculating to think about money before marriage. Any kind of long term relationship takes work- and I figure adjusting one's personal financial discipline, if necessary, is just one more way that one puts some necessary personal effort into a union.

A work colleague told me her husband spent all her money while she was submitted the divorce paperwork. But there were several other reasons for her divorce, too that I won't go into.

Most couples are thought to divorce because finances.

However, here is the divorce decline article in the newspaper. Interesting...