:eek:

The good news is that we know ahead of time that there is a happy ending - which will make the story as it twists and turns even more interesting!

I bet you can still feel the anguish and doubts as you wrote that....

Thanks for sharing your story - can't wait to hear the rest!

Now THAT is a surprise twist! Take that to Hollywood :)

Do you think Steph's comments got to you? Did you really not have anything to wear? It seems like you dropped out for no reason! :(

Definitely didn't see this one coming. As others have said, we know that you have a happy ending, but it's fun to see how you got there :)

Go Green!!!

I think it was the combination of a lot of little things, rather than having one big reason to drop out:

- I signed up for rush on a whim the day before it started and hadn't fully thought out my reasons for rushing. Nor was I adequately prepared for rush. (Not prepared in the tangible sense - learning about sororities, knowing what questions to ask, planning what to wear. And not prepared in the intangible sense - being emotionally prepared for what rush would be like...the stress, what it would feel like to get cut, etc.)

- Negative influence of Steph certainly didn't help. She had a very overbearing personality. Yet, she was also well-liked on our floor (or so it seemed at the time, anyhow), and she was one of the first friends I made in the dorms.

- Coming to my huge university from my tiny hometown was a total culture shock. (My hometown had a total of about 3,000 people at the time...my university had over 40,000 undergraduates alone.) I was trying to adjust to all the differences while dealing with the stress of rush. Our rush schedule was pretty demanding - 2 days Phase A, 2 days Phase B, 1 day Phase C, 1 day Preference...with a post office day between each of them except Phase C and Preference. The whole rush experience was crammed into 10 days. (If I recall correctly, things changed by the mid-90s...formal recruitment was spread out over several weekends to keep PNMs from getting overwhelmed like I did.)

- I really, truly didn't have anything to wear. :o:eek: Our campus atmosphere was pretty casual, and I knew that going in as a new freshman. (Did an overnight campus visit during my senior year in HS. :) ) So, the dressiest clothes I brought from home with me were just barely suitable for Phase B. Phase C and Preference were on back to back days. I needed to do some serious shopping to find Phase C and Preference worthy clothes at the last minute!

- I suppose my disappointment about being cut from Mayor Quimby didn't help, though I wouldn't say it was a cruicial factor in me not going to Phase C. Although the girl I talked with extensively there basically came right out and told me that she wanted me for her little sister. :eek: (I didn't spell that out in my notes, so I didn't mention it during my description of Mayor Quimby's Phase B party. At the time, it didn't seem like a noteworthy or unusual comment to me - I didn't realize that a comment like that could be construed as "bid promising" or a rush violation. It just contributed to the overall connection I felt with her. BTW - I don't hold that comment against her...I now know that she was a newer member and going through rush from the chapter side for the first time. She was just learning the ropes herself. But, at the time, it hurt to go from having someone in that house "want you for a little sister" to not being invited back. :( )


None of these circumstances alone would have gotten to me, but everything combined started to make me feel stressed/uncertain enough that I ultimately just needed a break. It had been a bit of a whirlwind ride throughout rush, and I needed to step back and figure out what I really wanted before I got in over my head.

Don't worry, susan314, you can always AI. ;)

Seriously, I agree with the others that it's nice to know there is a happy ending... I, for one, am hoping that you'll be hearing from Mayor Quimby again...

When I went through at MSU things were still pretty jam packed schedule wise with Phase A on Thursday (at the IM West-see note below), Phase B on Friday and Sat were the Philanthropy Days (that's when house tours were given), and Pref on Sunday. Bids were handed out on Monday. I don't remember having a Phase C.

Starting with the Fall 2003, things spread out a little bit. Phase A was held in the IM West Gym on a Saturday or Sunday (all 13 sororities have a designated area in the gym and the PNM's move around the gym meeting all the houses). Then starting Thursday, Phase B was held at the repective houses. Those are the days that videos each chapter makes are shown to the PNM's. Phase B is Thursday and Friday and was still the Philanthropy Days (if I remember correctly). Phase C is held on Saturday and that's the day that house tours were given. Pref is still on a Sunday with bids being handed out on Monday. Basically we started earlier but added a day.

I think it's pretty similar to that now, but I haven't been to a recruitment in a few years, so I have no clue.

I'm dying....tell us what happened!

I bumped into Steph in the dorm during the time Phase C parties were supposed to be happening. She shoots me a look, then smiles and says "so, you decided to drop out of rush?" She's the last person I feel like talking to at this point, so I just nod and try to finish going about my business. She tells me that I'm better off that way - I can re-rush as a sophomore after I've learned more about all of the sororities, and I shouldn't have any problem getting into one of the "right" houses. She does give me a thinly veiled "I told you so" about my decision to cut Waylon Smithers after Phase A. I fake a smile (though it feels like more of a grimace), tell her that we'll see what happens, and walk away.

It's funny that this "expert" never pledged herself! I love people who think they know everything by watching from the outside. What happened next?

Don't you listen to that mean nasty Steph, Susan! You didn't come all this way to MSU to let somebody tell you what to do! I'm secretly hoping her dorm room is infested by bedbugs. ;)

The girls in my rush group start trickling back in from Phase C. I bump into Suzy and ask how it went. She said it was going well - I think she's really hoping to join the house her roommate is in (Carl Carlson). She seemed surprised that I didn't go - I told her I was just a little overwhelmed by everything. She's pretty nice about the whole thing - said that she might have been overwhelmed too if she had tried rushing as a freshman. I wish her luck and head down to dinner.

On my way back from dinner, I bump into Bethany near her rom. She asks how rush is going - I tell her that as of this morning I've dropped out. She asks if I want to talk about it...I tell her the gist of it. That I'm confused about the whole thing - don't really know what sorority life is supposed to be about. I was joining to meet new people and make friends, but some people have been pressuring me to be concerned about "status" and other things that just don't really seem important to me. If that's what sorority life is actually about, I'm not sure whether I want to be a part of it.

(At this point, I also tell her that Gina, my good friend from home who is the one who talked me into rushing in the first place, is one of Bethany's new sisters - she pledged Tri-Delts, her first choice!)

Bethany shares her words of wisdom with me - you need to know what it is you're looking to get out of the sorority experience before you can decide which house is best for you. She tells me that some girls join primarily b/c of the parties they'll attend and the status the name will give them. Other girls join to make friends and experience new things. They might end up in the same house, but they'll end up with totally different experiences. She also told me not to put too much pressure on myself based on other people's opinions (like Steph's :rolleyes: )...the important thing is that the sorority is able to give you what it is that you're looking for based on what's important to you. Not what everyone else thinks of it - unless, of course, impressing other people is one of your priorities.

It all starts to make a little more sense after talking to Bethany, and I begin to wonder how things would have went if I'd decided to attend Phase C today.

Well Bethany just made me proud to be a sorority woman!