actually i think at the uofa it does hurt the house if you dont take a bid, then a girl who wanted that house and would have been an amazing sister got shut out, i think that if someone is totally unwilling to go to a house, thats fine, but do not put them on your final list, it just makes things harder for the house. but best of luck to you next year...sometimes it just takes time!

Give it a chance?
 

I have loved reading all of these posts but have never gotten the courage to post myself. Here it goes . . . . Please forgive any posting errors as I haven’t done this before.

Rumbly, tumbly: Obviously, if you are dead set against the chapter that offered you a bid, and you know you would be unhappy, I doubt anyone would want you to take the bid. However, I would urge you to think about giving the chapter a chance before giving up on it forever.

We had a woman in my pledge class, Kathy (not her real name), who had her heart set on a different sorority. She was very disappointed to receive a bid to her second choice and spent most of bid day in tears. (It made for interesting bid day pics for the rest of us that were very happy with our bids.:) ) Anyway, Kathy never came back after bid day. The next year, Kathy went through rush as a sophomore. On my campus, sororities did not look favorably upon women who de-pledged immediately without giving the sorority that offered the bid a chance. Kathy was dropped by my house and did not have any invites to other houses after second round. On bid day that year, we made quota plus but found out that we could offer Kathy a bid without it counting against our quota. (It has been so long, I am not sure if this was because she was a sophomore or because we were, essentially, re-issuing the bid from the year before.) This was a somewhat controversial decision within my house at the time, but it ended up great for everyone in the end. Kathy happily accepted the bid. She was a dedicated member of our chapter during college and a good friend to all of us. She ended up very happy and would comment on how silly she had been her freshman year not to stick it out and give it a few weeks.

Anyway, I thought I would relay this story for what its worth. I hope that you eventually end up in a sorority and are happy. It was a great part of college for me, and I still keep in touch with many of my sisters over 10 years after graduation.

I so had no idea this was a U of A thread. I was initiated at U of A. (Sorry for the mini hijack).

PenguinTrax is right though, you signed a bid card, so unfortunately you an ineligible for COB until next FR.



As for the SIP issue, I agree, it doesn't seem quite right that we (I'm talking sororities as a whole, Panhel as a whole) are kind of forcing girls to list all the houses they visited even if they can only see themselves in 1 or 2 of them. But it's really hard for me to understand FR because I went through spring, only went to my house and was offered a bid.

Yea as recruitment advisor I thought I was totally against pnm's sip'ing but now I agree with asuadpi - I am not sure that we should MAKE the pnm's write down a sorority with which they have no intention of accepting a bid.

However, I also think that if a pnm's sip's then they should not be eligable for quota additions or snap bidding. Because that is getting around the system.

If they put down a sorority and then don't accept the bid then that hurts the sororities quota - and the sorority doesnt know until "the run" that the pnm is not going to show up. So, at that point the sorority is "too late" to fill that position with a pnm that IS totally interested in that position . . . especially if the sorority is at total and cannot offer a bid after formal recruitment is over.

so i guess i waffle back and forth about this little issue
:o

I didn't sign any bid card...

Ok, I'll see if I can make any sense here...
 

***Anyone with more insight into this matter please correct my mistakes***

As far as I know, and from what I remember from my time going through recruitment (fall 2001, so not too long ago ;) ) is that if you are offered a bid from any of the houses you listed on your pref card, regardless of whether or not you accepted it (ie signed a bid card) then you are ineligible for recruitment for one calendar year. When you did your final rankings, after pref, and a house listed there (1-3) offers you a bid, it means that you have "matched" with a group which is what make you ineligible to participate in COB or COR until at least next August. If you had suicided on your bid card (only listed 1 house) and were not offered a bid by them, then you would still be available for other recruitment events now. I hope this makes sense, and I'm sure some of our recruitment gurus here can make this a little clearer, but I hope it helps you a little! :)

Thanks for clarifying! That's what I meant :D

Did you rank groups on a card after Preference and sign it?

I'm not allowed to through formal rcruitment for 1 year but spring recruitment is informal...right?

Often times the term "bid" is used when in reality people are actually referring to card you filled out after pref parties that had your ranking on it. By filling that out it means you will accept a bid from any of the sororities you listed. Since you were offered a bid and did not accept it, you are now ineleigible to participate in any form of recruitment for one calendar year.

This includes COB at anytime during the year and informal recruitment in the spring. You are not allowed to accept an invitation to join an NPC group until formal recruitment next year.

Hmmm...
 

It's my understanding that unless she actually signed a bid card she is free to participate in any form of recruitment that she wants. However, if she were to have actually SIGNED the bid card, only then would she have to wait one calendar year to participate in recruitment.

It breaks my heart to see someone get a bid & not even give the house a chance. God knows how many girls would've loved a bid.

That may be true, but it is still her choice and I don't think it is our place to give her a hard time for making the decision that she feels is right for her. I give her credit for continuing to post and answer questions!

Quite honestly, I see the potential nightmare in encouraging SIP, but if more PNMs who wanted to SIP, did SIP and were released from recruitment rather than be placed into a chapter someone else may have wanted, we would likely have more committed long-term members. Sure, plenty of women receive their 2nd choice or lower... and end up happy. Even more get their first choice and end up happy. And somewhere along their 4 years in college, they decide they don't want to be part of a sorority anymore, for whatever the reason, and drop.

I'd rather see someone not show up at Bid Day b/c she knows it is not what she wants, then to put up a pretense and spend a lot of time and money, and for the chapter to invest their time and hearts into someone who doesn't want to be there.

I'm not coming down on your crazychx, but I am reading this thread and I feel a lot of anymosity coming from sorority women to this girl. If she hadn't been matched, this thread would be covered with (((hugs))) and regrets and good luck wishes. Instead, we're being critical. Yes, I feel that if you give your 2 or 7th choice a shot you may love it, but that has to be a snap decision you make on Bid Day, and if you're so disappointed and unhappy at seeing your top choice did not make you an offer, you may go home crying instead. Or worse, lock yourself into the bathroom of your new sorority house, spreading your misery to the rest of the happy chapter and new sisters.

So, I'm happy that Rumbly made the decision that this wasn't what she wanted. Maybe she'll rush again and get into the chapter she wants to become a member of; maybe that sorority will be a different sorority than it was this fall. Maybe she won't get into the chapter she wants if she rushes again. But the fact is that this fall is over, and she didn't join a sorority. Let's stop pressuring her. I imagine that this is a hard time for her as it is.

But do you want a girl who doesn't want to be there in YOUR house on bid day? The one thing I CAN'T stand is a crying girl who didn't get her favorite XYZ house on bid day. If you don't want to be there, you shouldn't have come in the first place.