Yay! I'm so excited for you! I can't wait to find out where you hope you've found your home!

When I rushed at UK, I seem to remember a similar experience--they did seem to like to ask PNMs which houses they'd been to that day. And I guess they still do, or the PNMs just volunteer the info, because when I was an active I would always hear my sisters whispering about which other chapters we were "competing" against for PNMs. ;)

Good luck, CuriousWildcat!

I am very proud of you for pushing through!!

What would be a good way of answering this question w/o sounding rude and not lying or saying "nowhere else?" I agree that you don't want to tell chapters that they are the only place you are going. Maybe something like, "well, I can tell you which house I'm going to today that I like best!" and then talking about how much you like their house???

Nothing wrong with saying it in a way that shows them you are interested:

"I am so excited to be back here at XYZ today!"

"I was so happy when I saw I'd been invited back to XYZ today! I really love everyone I have met!"

"Coming to XYZ each day has been my favorite part of recruitment. I'm so happy to be back today!"

I think this is exactly what I said!

I'm crossing my fingers for you and Amber!!

Wishing you all the best with Amber!

I have a special feeling for UK as I was born in KY. I hope you get your top choice!

asking PNMs where else they were going..
 

Maybe it was just my school, but we were instructed to not ask "what other parties will you be going to today" type questions for several reasons.

The main one obviously being that if a PNM only got invited to a handful of parties and didn't have a full schedule, she might be feeling bummed about being rejected from the other houses she may have been interested in.

Like someone mentioned, for a lot of women, being cut at rush may be the first taste of "rejection" these women have to go through, so even though it may very well turn out to be a blessing in the end, there is still the possibility they are upset that they don't have a full party schedule like some of the other pnms may have, or maybe they got cut from a house that was their favorite up until that point.

Anyhow, I'm sending you the very very best wishes CW!!!

I am in no way advocating lying, but I also want to point out that the chapters have virtually zero contact with one another during recruitment outside of submitting disks (or whatever they're submitting these days to get invite lists). This isn't a hard and fast silence rule that I am aware of, but they're far too busy (or in many cases don't have the relationships) to ask about specific PNMs and invite lists amid the other chapters.

If anyone asked another PNM point-blank what other sororities she was visiting, that would be pretty uncomfortable! I think a smart PNM who wants to be invited back would smile brightly answer, "Oh you know ---I don't think that's important! I'm standing in the only one that matters!"

I would think responding somewhere along those lines the sorority woman would be flattered and a PNM could change the subject by asking her hostess what she loves most about her sorority, her favorite sorority experience/tradition, etc.

While I'm all for answering this type of question in a positive way, I think the real challenge is finding an answer that doesn't sound like the PNM is blowing sunshine up the rusher's butt. Some of the responses suggested would have rubbed me the wrong way. (I'm not trying to pick on adpiucf - her response was simply the most recent.) Of course, it's often difficult to get the right inflection when you're reading such lines as opposed to actually hearing them.

When I rushed, our Rho Chis advised us to be pretty up front at the beginning of the parties regarding our excitement level (only if we were super excited about the house, of course). That way, the rusher never had to ask questions like, "What other houses have you visited today?" in order to mentally rank where the house stands with the PNM.

Good luck CW - I hope you really click during Amber's pref party!

No offense taken. I was never asked the "Where else are you visiting today?" question, but I could see it happening. No matter how much training and practice, there are some rushers who totally (for lack of a better word) suck at conversation and may ask an inappropriate question out of nervousness (or general stupidity).

Or say something incredibly dumb. I again reference the sorority woman who introduced herself to a PNM at a party as, "Hi! I'm Bree. You know-- like the cheese?" ;) True story!

...Like the cheese? Wow, she sounds great.

Every group has women who are more skilled at rush than others, but some women are so off the mark it's crazy. When I rushed, at one of the parties a couple of the members were talking about how you never see cows in the process of lying down - you always see them either standing or lying. Another member overheard, interrupted our conversation, and said, "I've seen it! This is how they do it..." then proceeded to demonstrate how cows lie down. That was a fun day. :D

Sadly, I just found out that I didn't recieve an invite back to pref. :(. I'm still considering COR. Thank you all for your support.