The Alpha Phi ritual is not the sole property of you. It belongs to the Alpha Phi Fraternity, and I'm willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that there is no "spousal" provision for breaching your oath, nor is any such thing implied. Your rationalization and dishonor betrays every woman who has ever been, and who ever will be an Alpha Phi.

Yes, you raised the ire of many including my self. So if You are not going to tell your secrets, then why bring it up?

Oh, I can see the interest but not the way it was stated.

What each of us have as Initiated Members Will and Always feel very strongly about is The Vows that were taken.

Okay, what is an IEB Poll He asked?

Well, I respectfully disagree. :)

Well, in the original post, AEPHI ALUM asked the question Is it okay to divulge secrets of defunct GLOs....or something to that effect.

I was simply bringing to light a different point of view...that perhaps this friend who divulged secrets of her defunct GLO to her husband did not consider telling her husband to be revealing a secret....as some spouses have relationships in which they share everything with each other, under the explanation that "the two shall become one".

I did not present this as an absolute or something that all spouses should share with one another....or even advocate for it. I was simply pointing out that MAYBE she didn't see it as an issue...and that the issue was HIM discussing it with AEPhi Alum....which was innappropriate. This is why I brought it up....as just a "well...consider this" point.

IEB=International Executive Board
Poll as in asking each member how she feels about a certain issue.

Why do you disagree? What so Russ is a Guy and asking the same question as I and many others are and have?

You never answered My Question either.

Do you profess one thing and or say another?

So, now, you are an APhi and want to protect your Ritual or not?

Just queastions that need to be answered.

Oh, Ball is in your court!:)

Thank you. Posting times are close so a run over on timing!

Thanks!:)

She doesn't need to do anything for you. You desire answers. There's a difference.

She HAS NOT told her husband anything. Therefore, there is not a problem.

Put on your big- girl panties and deal with it.

I agree that there is no provision for breaching an oath and understand your interpretation.

However, where I split hairs with you in this matter is more of a spiritual/Biblical point...that when two are joined together in marriage, they become ONE. Arguably, depending on the individual's viewpoint, there need not be a "provision" granted by the fraternity to explain that these two people may now choose to share everything with one another.

*BEFORE YOU ATTACK THIS: I am not saying that this is how it IS or how it MUST BE....just offering this as a different perspective to explain WHY someone may feel that disclosure to a spouse is VERY DIFFERENT from disclosure to anyone else. I am not saying you must agree with this reasoning or accept it...just trying to explain it.*

*sigh* i will try, one question at a time....but please bear with me, as some I do not understand.

"You never answered My Question either." I guess I don't know the question to which you are referring....

"Do you profess one thing and or say another?" I'm not sure I follow this one. No, I have not disclosed anything about my ritual....but I understand the viewpoint of those who do not see it as a problem to share everything with their spouses. From a personal perspective, my own husband has never asked, nor do I think he would care, so I have not given him this information. But if it became a point of contention regarding secrecy in our marriage....probably I would tell him and I understand others who would choose to do this as well and would not consider it a breach of oath. But that is just ME....my opinion of a hypothetical. In my own life, I don't foresee this ever being an issue with us.

"So, now, you are an APhi and want to protect your Ritual or not?" Of course.

Addicted...
 

Has anyone else noticed that I said I would stop posting like 12 posts ago???

Sorry....I guess I am becoming a Greekchat addict!!!! And I don't want anyone to think I am unwilling to answer questions or go through the gauntlet!

However, I fear by the end of this thread I am likely to be a SENIOR MEMBER! haha!:D

WARNING: This post has nothing to do with revealing secrets of defunct/absorbed GLOs and everything to do with how we show respect for one another on this board.

Calling someone stupid because you disagree with their interpretation of the bible and the meaning of marriage is really mature. Actually, Lovely_gurl is a very active and involved member of Alpha Phi who has never said that her vows meaning nothing to her. This is a very harsh attack on someone's religious views of marriage that I consider unnecessary, rude and nasty.

I find it very disappointing that so many of you, including many moderators who claim to support GC allowing people to take less popular positions on issues, have attacked someone for bringing to light another point of view. Lovely_gurl was not advocating the sharing of ritual, nor was she speaking in defense of the actions of AEPhi Alum's chapter sister. Rather, she was trying to promote understanding by introducing another prospective on this issue.

She pretty much said in her first post that she saw NOTHING wrong with sharing secrets of any sort with a spouse because they are "one." If she had said "some people believe married couples should share everything" and let it go at that, I don't think anyone would have gotten offended. But she took it a step further and affirmed that she lives her own life this way as well. Whether she's actually shared these things with her husband or not is not the point.

I agree with the above post by buinaphi. The name calling is ridiculous, immature, not in keeping with ANYONE's ideals, principles or creed.

Let's start walking the walk here folks.

And yes, it is the point that she hasn't shared any ritual with her husband b/c that is why people have their panties in a wad. They actually are worried that she will. Which she hasn't and probably wouldn't. She was just playing devils advocate.

I guess it can't be a discussion board unless everyone agrees.


Just to put a differnt spin on the topic.....many rituals have changed. What if I discuss something in the ritual that is no longer there? Is that still breaking an oath? I haven't done this of course, but I think it does preent an interesting question.

Exactly. Not only did she say it, not qualifying as a "devil's advocate" statement, she mentioned her organization specifically.

Call me judgemental, but that sounds pretty stupid to me.

Well, I regret that you feel it necessary to resort to namecalling...and perhaps I should have worded my first post more carefully....and have already explained the posted affiliation bruh-ha-ha...but I would think that with the subsequent million posts from me that followed that one, one would get the idea of where I was coming from.