Keeping an Open Mind
 

NorthernMom is SO right on! These words are worth remembering and passing along to your daughter when she calls home (because "tiers" are irrelevant to where she will feel most at home, because what feels like home tends to change throughout the week, and because almost EVERY girl will get cut by at least a few of the houses she likes--that's the nature of Rush these days). Those cuts, painful as they may be, are all to the good because they encourages girls to let go of the houses where they aren't going to match and they can then focus on the houses that will be the best fit. Rush isn't perfect (what is?) but the system really does seem to work for the vast majority of people who stick it out--and that means beyond Bid Day too. Investing themselves in the house where they end up and being open to new friendships and possibilities. Sisterhood doesn't happen overnight!

My daughter, who's going through recruitment as a member for the first time, also texted me a picture this morning as she was waiting for the first group of PNMs to arrive. She's so excited! The active members have been working so hard to prepare for this week. I'm really looking forward to hearing stories from the Moms, PNMs and actives as we go through Recruitment.

Just a reminder for Moms of PNMs (and PNMs too): it's best not to post about particular houses that your daughter loves (or doesn't) by name as she goes through recruitment. Save the house name for announcing her Bid on Bid Day! You just never know who's lurking on this (or any) chat room or other social media outlet and you don't want people to somehow connect your daughter to a particular thread (as remote as that possibility may seem).

Thinking about all you Moms today! Keep breathing! :)

It's also important not to take it personally. We are not from the area, and my sorority experience was light years from this. We had done some homework - gotten recs to most of the houses and read up a bit on SEC recruitment. But I think we were unprepared in some ways for just how resume driven recruitment really is. My daughter was very involved in a sport - but it was outside of her high school - because it was much more competitive at that level. However, because she spent most of her free time in that sport - and had to get to practices at a distance right after school - she didn't really participate in anything at her school. On paper, she looked pretty one dimensional. And she was not an academic standout in HS, though much better in college. So after the first round when she was cut pretty heavily, she was upset. She didn't understand why ABC that she loved so much, and really clicked with the girl she talked to, had cut her. She struggled to figure out what she was doing wrong? I wondered what was going wrong? We thought perhaps it related to being a transfer, and perhaps some of it did, but I think the reality was that her "resume" just didn't seem that impressive. Once you realize that, it seems less "personal".

There are girls with amazing resumes, and your girls may be among them. But if they experience cuts - it may be because on paper, they were not exactly what the chapter was looking for....not because they didn't like them personally in some way.

Once again am in total agreement with Northernmom--and even the girls who look amazing "on paper" can experience what seem to be inexplicable cuts (at least from their perspective). It's impossible to know for sure why anyone gets invited back or released from a particular house so there's no point on dwelling on it. It's normal to feel slighted and hurt and confused, and then the girls have to find a way to shake it off and move on, focusing on the houses where they will be returning.

Hoping all the girls going through recruitment had a great first day today. I'm sure they are exhausted.

There is so much good advice being shared here! It is so true that at Mizzou the girls have friends from multiple houses. I love that about the school. My daughter's boyfriend goes to a big ten school. She came back from a visit with him saying how different it is there because the girls in sororities only socialize with girls in their own house. It is highly frowned upon to have friends in other houses there. At Mizzou it is more the norm to have friends in many different houses.

Walk in the Woods and NorthernMom are so wise in their counsel about dealing with cuts. It hurts when the cuts come. No doubt about it, but it is often a way of helping a girl to focus on a house where she is a better fit. As a mom it is so hard when your daughter is sad, especially when they are far away and you can't be there to dry their tears. But, in the end if they keep an open mind they will most likely find a great fit. Mizzou sororities are all so strong and have so much to offer.

Just got a text from my duaghter that there is one more social today. MomofTiger looking forward to hearing how things went for you daughter today. Most people choose a theme and refer to all the different sororities according to the theme i.e. TV shows, designers, food groups, etc. It will be fun to see what you choose.

I know it was raining today - at least at one point. Haven't heard much from mine, but if you have Snap Chat you can follow MizzouPHA and see little clips from recruitment.

Chances are that she is still in a social, or it is just about to end. My daughter texted about 20 minutes ago that there was one more to go and then stopped texting pretty abruptly, so I'm assumng that meant the social was starting.

Looking forward to an update on your daughter's day! Hang in there.

Oops got confused. Northern mom I was thinking you were the mom of the PNM, but you are the mom of an active right?

Yes....this is her first year on the "other side" ;)

A friend's daughter is going through recruitment right now at another competitive SEC school, and their bid day is tomorrow, so I feel a little like a PNM Mom again ;-)

My daughter is a sophomore this year as well. I'm really anxious to hear how it is going for her on this side of recruitment.

Hope all goes well for your friend's daughter!

Hi all. My daughter said today was exciting and tiring. She visited 7 houses today and will go to 8 tomorrow. I just got off of the phone with her. She sounded exhausted but very happy with all of the girls she met. She felt like she had great conversations at three houses in particular and liked everyone overall. She was surprised to hear other pi chi groups having different experiences than she did and I reminded her not to listen to that and make her own decisions. The dining hall closed earlier than she realized so she didn't get a proper dinner! I encouraged her to get to bed since tomorrow will be a full day. I am missing her but am also very excited to witness this adventure she is on :). Mizzou seems to have a great Greek system. Very impressed so far :)

My senior dd said she met so many great girls today. Momoftiger, glad you are encouraging your daughter to make her own choices. No better advice can be given. Also, hopefully she has some good snacks in her room! And she is right, MU does have an amazing greek system and they are all good friends with each other. Several of my daughters closest friends are in different houses.
Cheers to a great week! Please keep us posted. I'm loving hearing how the PNM's are feeling about the process this year.

This is all great to hear (except for the dinner! Hope she gets some good food tomorrow). My sophomore daughter was excited to meet some really terrific girls yesterday. The active members are tired too! And also looking forward to meeting more people today. Having different experiences than your friends is natural--it's part of the growing up process at college--making your own decisions. Sounds like your daughter is well on her way. My daughter also has close friends in several other houses and I agree with what everyone is saying here about the overall strength of the Greek system at Mizzou, and the Panhellenic spirit. Each house has something to offer, and they all have amazing women in them.

Oh boy. I sadly just looked at that horrible site Greek Rank for Mizzou. That was a huge mistake and devastating to see. There is a person writing absolutely horrible things on there about chapters. I wish somebody moderated that site better. It's pure group cyber bullying :(

I just checked it out. It is sad that the stress and competition of recruitment brings out hurtful comments. I think the PNM's can see through the hateful posts for what they are. It would be hard to read those kinds of hateful things about your own sisterhood, but it seems like the majority of people don't believe the hate that one person in particular is spewing. Hopefully the girls are too busy at their parties to have time to look at that ridiculous site. Hoping all goes well for your daughter with invites this morning!