about the dues thing it's not necessarily that i want to pay more, i dunno i thought i explained what i meant

i had a mixer last night and RIGHT NOW am pretty much obsessed with eyeliner

i do have one little issue though if someone could PM me?

I haven't read through all of the details, but your dues could be lower for a number of reasons. Your chapter may simply have a larger bank account (from, for example, strong alumni support) and as a result, your dues are lower. Perhaps your chapter does not have to pay a mortgage on the house and again, the dues reflect that.

Enjoy Eyeliner! :)

The chapter with lower dues might also assess, meaning that dues are lower, but you pay out of pocket for shirts, social events, etc. A lot of times, you end up paying just as much as you would have if your chapter's dues were all-inclusive (dues covers everything, you pay up front).

hey so i got some help with my little problem thanks guys. as for eyeliner, i'm still adjusting and thanks for the support all along the way

so i just got an email from our new member educator saying along the lines of "oh if you have any friends that want to join a sorority but it just didn't work out in recruitment let us know b/c eyeliner has more room!" great. i don't know. i just feel like things just keep coming up. i'm having fun with eyeliner. i think i could be having more fun with blush and many of these little issues i keep bringing up would not likely be there

here's my opinion...
you're a junior transfer, yes? This is likely your last possible chance to be Greek. If you think it is better to be Eyeliner than to not be Greek at all, then stick with it. If you're constantly going to be thinking about Blush and how sad you are to not be one, then drop. It's only going to bum you out. It's horrible thinking feelings of regret all the time - don't do it to yourself.
Try to focus on the positives of Eyeliner :)

QBT-

i am sticking with it to give it a chance. i have been pledging less than a week so these feelings are very recent. there are many positives of eyeliner and i do like them. for me personally, i need to express my concerns to be able to get over them. just forgetting about them doesn't work for me. i came to this community to do that along with my recruitment story because you guys would obviously have the best advice but i do know myself as well

KSU-

of course they won't be.

agreed. however, (maybe unlike you) i need to be able to express my concerns to eventually get over them. i can't just forget about it and move on. I'm sorry i don't mean to be rude but i feel I've explained myself many times. you are a moderator. if the way i am conducting my thread is not appropriate then maybe i should leave. i told everyone how i was going to express myself and i didn't see any concerns. i like that i am able to work through these issues most likely with other girls that have gone through them. i know i am not a blush and i really don't need you to tell me that. i am making the best of it. do i falter? yep. that doesn't really make me someone unfit to be greek, i think. I'm not looking for people to validate my issues. I'm expressing them and getting them out and letting people respond how they wish. it's a process. again, i don't feel I've been inappropriate. it seems as if i can only post positive things about this situation. well there are negative things and i want to get through them. if this is not the place, then so be it. again i really don't mean to be rude and i don't think that i have been, but perhaps this is blunt. also i really don't think the low dues complaint was silly, and i feel as if you're almost mocking me. simply an organization with more money is able to accomplish more in every regard. i don't see how wanting this is silly or wrong. basically i feel as if my "bottom line" is that i am not NOT making the best of it just because i am voicing my concerns

yes, i agree. however i am nowhere close to initiation so i still have plenty of time to think.

Thank you!

If you're having doubts, that's fine. But we here on GC don't need to be told every little thing that Eyeliner does that bothers you and/or makes you second guess the decisions you made throughout recruitment.

No matter what you post here, everyone is going to tell you the same thing over and over again: Stick it out for a little while longer. Don't think about the other sorority. If you do, drop out. etc. etc.

To be honest (and I could be wrong), it sounds as if you want someone to tell you to drop out. You're complaining that your sorority has low dues and is COBing? These aren't huge issues! A lot of girls would kill to be in a sorority, and would gladly deal with these "problems".

And through reading over some of your posts again, it also sounds as if you don't want to be in this sorority (and want to be in another) for very superficial reasons. Eyeliner apparently has the closest sisterhood, but they might not have the most extravagant events.. And they have to recruit after formal.. and..? That's it. Unless something else comes up tomorrow.

But please, by all means, correct me if I'm wrong.

Ok, can you tell me why my process is wrong? Why is expressing my concerns to eventually get over them bad? I've acknowledged that I don't want to feel this way and that is why I am trying. If I didn't care, I would have dropped.

I am sticking it out! I am not planning on dropping! I have thought about it maybe before initiation but I really doubt I will. Unlike many, I can't not think about the other sorority. Sorry. These feelings are recent and strong and I need to get them out to get over them.

I definitely don't want someone to tell me to drop out, and if they did I would reassure them that I am not. I'm sorry that I am complaining about things. They bother me and I'm not going to pretend they don't. Again that is how I work through my problems. There are no perfect situations and no completely horrible (where everything is wrong) situations either. I can either compare to both or neither (blush or no sorority).

I think all the sororities have great sisterhood to be completely honest. I can only talk from my situation but it appears that they do. Maybe my reasons for feeling the way I do are wrong, but the fact is I want to get over my concerns. That's the difference

Because it kind of doesn't seem like you are writing it down here to vent it out, it seems like you are writing it for validation as to why you should dump eyeliner.

I understand what you are trying to do and it IS a good idea. Not trying to chase you off, but I don't think this is the best venue. It might be better for you to vent it all out in a paper journal. That way if you feel differently later, you can burn it. Internet entries, not so much.

And the low dues complaint was silly. Dues are different for very different reasons, and assuming that the most expensive thing is the best is a bad way to look at anything, let alone sororities.

33girl-

I am not lying. Everything I have said is what I feel and that includes not wanting people to tell me to drop eyeliner.

The reason I chose this venue is because unlike a journal there would be feedback and from the absolute best source.

I do not know the details of my dues, as I haven't had a chance to ask yet. I agree to disagree. I think more resources is never a bad thing.



lilsunshine-

I get what you're saying, and they must think I'm lying then, because I've repeated my intentions in almost every single post.

Perhaps it is done as a recruitment thread, but it is now a sorority life thread. I'm sorry, but I will admit that there are downsides to it, and not talking about them does not make them not there.

I like this avenue, because it will provide the best source of advice. I think you're right though. I have been ungrateful. I don't deserve to be in a sorority, it's a privilege.


TO EVERYONE-

If I can't get past my issues, that is the only reason I would drop. I'm trying guys.

I never used the word lying, or said you were writing things that were not what you feel. I was telling you how it is coming across to others when you write it.

If you feel a need for consistent and immediate feedback, I would consult a campus therapist. I think you have things going on inside that have more to do with what sorority you put down first on your bid card.

I know. I just wanted to assure that the way it was coming across was not what I meant. I'm sorry of how it came across, but I worded it exactly the way I felt so I don't know how it could have been different.

Perhaps. I don't need the feedback though. It is nice to post here and see what others have to say, but like I said if it is better off, I can go. I am not trying to be a nuisance or cause trouble. I can get through this by expressing this to other people. There are tons of other people in my life that are there for me when I need them. They are simply not familiar with the Greek system at all. You guys know the ins and outs. That's all.

This.

There are many red flags in your conflicts and doubts, your ups and downs, your highs and lows, which you are posting to the internet, where they will Live Forever. This no longer appears to be merely about Eyeliner.

We cannot give you any sort of reliable or valid feedback about Eyeliner and what you are feeling, because we are not living your life. You are.

I've re-read through this thread, and nowhere do I see the words "lying", or "ungrateful", until you used them.

What I do see are many supportive, patient, and encouraging responses.