She will. And I haven't heard any of this from her. I am not accusing them of "dirty rush" because she didn't get a bid; I am accusing them of it because they DID tell other sororities "she will pledge us".

“Much learning does not teach understanding.”

I find it interesting that you are insinuating a lack of intelligence on Carnation's part. You are understandably upset at the outcome of your cousin's recruitment process, but I think you should heed KSUViolet's advice and refrain from posting comments about a situation that is hearsay at the moment. I think it's also pretty rude to make unkind remarks regardless if it's on the Internet.

Best of luck to you and your family member, and I wish her the best of luck at USM as well.

I certainly didn't mean to sound harsh in my post. I was just confused because I've never heard such a story and can't believe girls would do something like that, except maybe in a movie; I never experienced anything like that on my campus, but maybe I'm just naive. I'm very sorry that it didn't work out for your cousin, but KSUViolet is pretty wise when it comes to these things, and I would heed her advice. You were not there and don't know exactly what happened. It doesn't do your cousin any good for you to be out spreading things on the internet when you don't know all the facts. I know you are not upset with me, but if it makes you feel better to release your anger to strangers on here, please go ahead. It must be an upsetting time.

My sympathies to your cousin, Greekmom3. Recruitment is a tough experience. I do not think the girls who said "she is pledging with us" intended to harm her. I am sure those who said it, meant it. But, a few girls cannot always control what the whole house will do.

I am wondering, did you say she was released prior to pref? Or did she attend pref and not receive a bid? I was under the impression that she would have been matched somewhere if she maximized her options and returned where invited on pref night.

I'm wondering the same thing, too. If she had pref invites, accepted all she could and then listed all she couldon her bid car, then she was guaranteed a bid at USM. A number of groups require that legacies invited to pref be at the top of their bid list so am surprised if this happened after pref. Maybe she is so upset she didn't communicate it correctly. That I can understand.

/Totally swerving out of my lane. Promise to go back to the IFC lane./

I am confused about the pref night situation, too. Did she get cut by everyone before pref night? The OP stated that her cousin got cut "the night of pref" by this one sorority and her 3 legacy sororities. Someone correct me, but that sounds like cousin went to 4 chapters on pref night. This IFC guy has never heard of going to 4 chapters on a pref night.

/Driving back to the IFC lane./

If you want to get technical, she said "all the sororities cut her the night of pref." That's kind of like saying she got the whole way through rush and went to every sorority on campus's pref party, which of course doesn't happen.

We're not doubting you Greekmom3, just trying to clarify the situation. Did she end up on pref night with only the one sorority and then didn't get a bid from them?

When I read that she was "cut the night of pref," I understood it to mean that when the night of pref parties rolled around, she had been cut by every chapter. Perhaps Greekmom meant that her cousin received no invites on pref night rather than was cut after pref parties.

Yes, if you are invited to pref parties, attend the pref parties and maximize your options, you are guaranteed a bid at Southern Miss.

I don't know the current policy, but a few years ago PNMs could pref a maximum of two chapters at Southern Miss.

To be blunt if I heard a woman was going to join XYZ but I liked her, I'd invite her back because a) that's dirty rushing b) it could be a rumor c) she might change her mind. Every group is different but it isn't easy to release legacies without VERY good reason. Perhaps SHE said she was joining XYZ and she was released for that behavior.

There have been instances where women have claimed to have been cut or released from recruitment and are not being truthful about that with their friends and relatives, when in fact they didn't want to go through or join at all (didn't want to join their legacy chapter, cut chapters they didn't like and were left with nothing, etc.) and instead of admitting so, they put the blame on sororities.

Lastly it is completely possible that there was something about your cousin you and your family are unaware of that was brought to the attention of the members, and this is why she has no bid. She may be ashamed or humiliated about it and instead of saying "well I made this bad decision that has come back to haunt me" she again, blames us for cutting her for "no reason" where as there may be a good reason.

Or, and this is unfortunate, maybe she was rude, nasty, or inappropriate at recruitment and since you care for her so much you are unaware that she is capable of being unpleasant.

ETA: Regardless, she is hurting so be supportive, caring, don't badmouth sororities and the Greek system, and give her the love and care she needs. You will likely never know what happened, so don't dwell on it.

VandalSquirrel: All very possible and just what I was thinking.

small world
 

ETA: Regardless, she is hurting so be supportive, caring, don't badmouth sororities and the Greek system, and give her the love and care she needs. You will likely never know what happened, so don't dwell on it.[/QUOTE]


Since the South is a small world it would be best to follow VandalSquirrel's advice. You don't want to undermine her if she decides to rush again.

Rush results are a much discussed topic within the south. The reason for the pnm's poor recruitment results will eventually surface. But I agree with the above poster: whenever we heard that someone was "hell bent" on getting a pnm, and she was one of our top pnms as well, we worked harder to get her. Chances are that the pnm, herself, was saying back in the dorm (and it made its way to the chapters) that she was planning to pledge XYZ.

In war, and in rush, the walls have ears...