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-   -   Wedding Invitation Etiquette Question (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=66091)

KSigkid 11-09-2008 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XOMichelle (Post 1742271)
My roommate was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom asked people to buy them things for a trip around the world. I'm not entirely sure how they worked out the logistics, but their guests got them hotel rooms, dinners at restaurants, and other things for their trip.

Sounds way cooler to me than dishes!

We've been to a couple of weddings where people had honeymoon registries. It seemed like a neat idea, for people to be able to craft their registries around what they like. It also seems like a good idea for people who already have a lot of the home stuff (appliances, dishes, flatware, etc.).

We have three weddings next year (two with college friends and one with a family member), and I would be a little surprised if at least one didn't have some sort of honeymoon registry.

KSUViolet06 11-10-2008 01:44 AM

I think the thing I've heard of that took the cake in terms of registries would be the HOME BUYING REGISTRY. The couple sets up a bank account and asks guests to contribute $$ to it in lieu of gifts, which will go toward the purchase of their new home.

http://www.bridaldownpayment.com/index.html#overview

I opened an invite that had a card from one of these places, and did a double take. I had never seen or heard of anything like this before.




RaggedyAnn 11-10-2008 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1742729)
I think the thing I've heard of that took the cake in terms of registries would be the HOME BUYING REGISTRY. The couple sets up a bank account and asks guests to contribute $$ to it in lieu of gifts, which will go toward the purchase of their new home.

http://www.bridaldownpayment.com/index.html#overview

I opened an invite that had a card from one of these places, and did a double take. I had never seen or heard of anything like this before.



It sounds strange, but I like that idea better than a green back. We actually let everyone know who gave us cash at our wedding that their gift would be used toward the downpayment of a home.

OneTimeSBX 11-10-2008 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn (Post 1742770)
It sounds strange, but I like that idea better than a green back. We actually let everyone know who gave us cash at our wedding that their gift would be used toward the downpayment of a home.

i am just always so nervous about who you turn off when you steer from the norm, you know? some people think registries are pushy, others think money is rude...not that im would get married for the gifts lol, but traditions are traditions for some people! i would love money towards a house, but wouldnt DARE imply that, because our families are extra old-school and would probably opt to skip the gift altogether!

Munchkin03 11-10-2008 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX (Post 1742800)
i would love money towards a house, but wouldnt DARE imply that, because our families are extra old-school and would probably opt to skip the gift altogether!

I'm not that old-school, but when my cousin sent her tacky-ass wishing well poem in the invite, I opted out a present altogether. When I personally ask people, however, if they want something special from their registries and they say that they'd really just prefer cash, I'll happily oblige. It's a difference between being asked and advertising that you want money.

KSUViolet06 11-10-2008 02:01 PM

I don't know, I just kind of feel like couples could take the money they'd spend for the wedding itself and put it toward said down payment, if they really want a home badly enough to make a registry out of it.

I should also mention that the same couple who had a home buying registry was also registered at Crate & Barrel. I just thought it was weird to ask for both housewares and a down payment (and yes, there was a note asking you to please consider doing both).

honeychile 11-10-2008 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1742729)
I think the thing I've heard of that took the cake in terms of registries would be the HOME BUYING REGISTRY. The couple sets up a bank account and asks guests to contribute $$ to it in lieu of gifts, which will go toward the purchase of their new home.

http://www.bridaldownpayment.com/index.html#overview

I opened an invite that had a card from one of these places, and did a double take. I had never seen or heard of anything like this before.




If I got an invitation with that in it, the bridal couple would receive an etiquette book from me!

As wonderful as getting wedding presents is, wedding guests bring them in celebration of a wedding, not to be fleeced. If you really want a house, cut back on the wedding frills.

KSUViolet06 11-10-2008 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 1742887)
If you really want a house, cut back on the wedding frills.

See that's what I was thinking too. As a guest, I have no problem with contributing registry items to help you furnish your home and such. I do have a problem with helping you pay for THE HOME ITSELF. If you need a registry to buy a home, you don't need a wedding.

honeychile 11-10-2008 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1742867)


I should also mention that the same couple who had a home buying registry was also registered at Crate & Barrel. I just thought it was weird to ask for both housewares and a down payment (and yes, there was a note asking you to please consider doing both).

I missed this part! I'll even spring for the etiquette book, if you want to give them one! Tell them it's from me, I don't care!

Somewhere, the good ship Tacky has to be sunk!

KSUViolet06 11-10-2008 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 1742909)
I missed this part! I'll even spring for the etiquette book, if you want to give them one! Tell them it's from me, I don't care!

Somewhere, the good ship Tacky has to be sunk!

Oh yes, not only should we PAY for the home, but furnish it with dishes and knick knacks as well.

Oh no need for you buy me an etiquette book because I'm not going. I was just too outdone by the invite and registries to even show my face.

honeychile 11-10-2008 03:24 PM

I just sent "Larry" an email, congratulating him on becoming the King of All Things Tacky. His scheme really takes the cake! I have never done anything like that before, and I feel... dirty.

RaggedyAnn 11-10-2008 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1742867)
I don't know, I just kind of feel like couples could take the money they'd spend for the wedding itself and put it toward said down payment, if they really want a home badly enough to make a registry out of it.

I should also mention that the same couple who had a home buying registry was also registered at Crate & Barrel. I just thought it was weird to ask for both housewares and a down payment (and yes, there was a note asking you to please consider doing both).

That is tacky. I just thought there was the one registry.

Munchkin03 11-10-2008 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 1742909)
I missed this part! I'll even spring for the etiquette book, if you want to give them one! Tell them it's from me, I don't care!

Somewhere, the good ship Tacky has to be sunk!

I would LOVE to send etiquette books to those who have offended me in the manners department!

OneTimeSBX 11-10-2008 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1742930)
I would LOVE to send etiquette books to those who have offended me in the manners department!

do it! wrap it up nicely, bookmark the page that they need to refer to, and dont put a name on it! let THEM speculate who was ballsy enough to give it as a gift lol

Munchkin03 11-10-2008 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX (Post 1742937)
do it! wrap it up nicely, bookmark the page that they need to refer to, and dont put a name on it! let THEM speculate who was ballsy enough to give it as a gift lol

You know I'll do it, too!

I love etiquette and protocol-related stuff. I have a copy of Amy Vanderbilt's all-purpose book, and Emily Post's wedding book on my bookshelf at home. Nothing makes me happier than knowing when someone's been tacky.

KSUViolet06 11-10-2008 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1742930)
I would LOVE to send etiquette books to those who have offended me in the manners department!


You know, Miss Home Buying Registry just might get an etiquette book from me. You should have seen my face when I not only saw THAT, but the Crate & Barrel registry card as well. It's as if they want us to BUY the home AND furnish it. Craziness. Like I said before, can't afford a home = you most likely do not need to be having a wedding.

honeychile 11-11-2008 02:16 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it was considered tacky to enclose such registry cards, that someone was to discreetly mention, "Sophronia & Hugo are registered at Macy's."

OneTimeSBX 11-11-2008 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 1743332)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it was considered tacky to enclose such registry cards, that someone was to discreetly mention, "Sophronia & Hugo are registered at Macy's."

i thought so too...my bff sent separate cards in the mail about a week after the invites...long enough for people to not assume you are expecting gifts, but close enough where you can answer the question they may have had once they saw the invite.

my cousin also did a wedding website...it had a calendar of events (the rehearsal dinner, etc), the formal newspaper announcement, rsvp options, as well as maps and things so people could find the venue. the last tab of the page was registry info and links to the sites. she included the web address in her invitation. i thought this was a lot more tasteful than a list of stores lol!

honeychile 11-11-2008 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX (Post 1743338)
i thought so too...my bff sent separate cards in the mail about a week after the invites...long enough for people to not assume you are expecting gifts, but close enough where you can answer the question they may have had once they saw the invite.

my cousin also did a wedding website...it had a calendar of events (the rehearsal dinner, etc), the formal newspaper announcement, rsvp options, as well as maps and things so people could find the venue. the last tab of the page was registry info and links to the sites. she included the web address in her invitation. i thought this was a lot more tasteful than a list of stores lol!

I do like those. Friends of mine have made "Wedding Gazette" type websites, and I thought they were fun, yet informative - and much less tacky!

PeppyGPhiB 11-11-2008 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 1743332)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it was considered tacky to enclose such registry cards, that someone was to discreetly mention, "Sophronia & Hugo are registered at Macy's."

Yes yes YES. These are terrible! Just direct marketing for the stores that gave them the cards. They should NEVER be used.

Whenever I get a wedding invite I just go to a Web site like WeddingChannel.com and enter in the name, and viola, I have their registry info. I would never include registry in any invitation or mailing.

GeekyPenguin 11-12-2008 11:36 AM

I am in love with the idea of sending people an etiquette book...maybe with a little inscription in the cover so it's not returnable too. ;)

I got invited to a wedding shower this summer. It was for my boyfriend's mom's cousin's kid. Yes, really. I got invited because I met the cousin for the first time at my boyfriend's sister's shower. I didn't go because it was the weekend before the bar exam and I had never met the bride or groom. We didn't get invited to the wedding because I didn't go to the shower. Is it bad I was excited I didn't get invited to the wedding? ;) I know it's "bad form" to invite someone to the shower and not invite them to the wedding but I was actually quite happy about it.

Munchkin03 11-12-2008 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin (Post 1743794)
I am in love with the idea of sending people an etiquette book...maybe with a little inscription in the cover so it's not returnable too. ;)


Can we do it if the wedding isn't tacky per se, and they didn't break any major etiquette rules, but it's just kinda ghetto? Because that would be awesome.


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