oh sweetie, I'm soo sorry. Trust me when I say I know how you feel. Please don't let this experience make you feel any less about yourself, and things will get better in time :)

Sometimes National HQ strongly discourages a chapter from taking juniors during formal recruitment. If you join through COB, it could be what the sisters wanted all along.

pam, you did a great job this week!!! don't think that just bc you got cut means that no one liked you!!!! as we have all said, there are a zillion superficial reasons- grades, class standing, etc.- that would have nothing to do with how the chapters thought of you as a person! take a peek a cob, bc you never know what you will find. plus, as my wise sister, deltabetababy, just said, there may have been a push to take more younger girls in formal, but that doesn't mean they won't pick you up afterwards. see what chapters are having cob events right after rush and see what they have to offer!! good luck with your decision!

pam, i think you should be proud of yourself for getting through the week, in general. it's SUCH a stressful time and many girls drop out - you had the initiative to go through even though you knew it would be hard, and you kept going even though the week wasn't all pansies and roses. you can always try COB like people have said, but you should also be glad that you had the guts to experience this and you should NOT take it personally.

Errr...
 

Okay this is really weird...I just got a phone call from my Gamma Chi and she said that I was asked back to Sigma Kappa for pref..and that there was some mix up or something...this is so weird since I wasn't asked back after open house...she said she's going to call me back and explain the details..She said I can pref them but I want AXO..what do you think I should do? Is it possible to get a snap bid from AXO as well or what I dunno what to think it was all so fast

GO CHECK IT OUT!!!! at least go to the party! if you totally don't like it after the party, then don't sign your bid card. you will never know if you don't at least go to the party! plus, you already have a cute outfit for tonight, why let it sit in your closet!!!

if i was even invited....this convo was like 20 seconds long...I'm so lost lol

but would preffing sig kap lessen my chances of getting a snap bid from AXO...if i even got preffed at all...this is all so weird

Go to their pref, since you have not talked to the ladies of SK since first rounds, you can get to know them a little better! If you are not comfortable signing your pref card, then you have that opition.

Lets say Im preffed at Sig Kap...and on my bid card or whatever, can I put AXO as my first choice?

I dont mean to sound pessimistic, but I dont think you should counting on a snap bid from AXO. I know that in my school, usually only a couple chapters have to give them and even then it is just a couple of girls. If SK likes you enough to invite you to pref, I say just go.

i don't think that anyone here can say anything about the possibility of being snap bid. go to sigma kappa tonight, relax and have fun. pref is a great night! the ceremonies are all so beautiful and it will really give you a much better feel for the sisterhood than first rounds. good luck.

I can't say I agree or disagree because I have no knowledge of UT-K or AXO or anything else, but going to SK's pref will not affect your chances of getting a snap bid at AXO.

In fact, it may help, because AXO may see that you completed recruitment but did not match, instead of seeing that you withdrew early.

but what am i supposed to say at pref if i didn't go to the first and second rounds?

I agree with everyone so far, especially DeltaBetaBaby. Going to SK's pref won't hurt your chances of getting a snap bid from AXO.

Don't worry about what you are supposed to say. They all will know that there was some kind of mix up. Just have a normal conversation. Catch up on all the questions you would have liked to have answered the first and second rounds.

Good Luck!!:D

By the way, did you find out yet what the mix up was?

Pam,

You could go to SK's Preference and still put ACW first on your preference card. You could theoretically put SK last on your card, or not at all.

My suggestion would be to go to Preference and see how you feel. At the end of the night, if you're not feeling it, you don't have to put them on your card-- heck, you don't even have to sign your card. But by all means, don't eliminate your options.

Good luck.

I'm a big believer in things happen for a reason...for some reason you are being magically brought back to SK...check it out...you can go from there on what decision you want to make...you have no obligation to sign a bid card.

...after the Pref you may be dying to sign it though, whether it's SK or AXO.

I'm really hoping that everything ends up working out--either with SK or maybe even the snap bid thing with AXO! I'm totally praying for you!!!!

Bah
 

Well...just got a call back from the Gamma Chi...she made a mistake...no Sig Kap..I figured it was weird...it didn't make sense as to why I was being brought back all of a sudden. So yep, still cut..but thanks for the support anyhow.:p

I would just like to echo everyone that says if you receive a COB it is far from a "pity" bid. Don't let your pride get in the way of something if that is what you want!

Um, does anyone else think this is a bit fishy? I don't know your feelings about your rho sigma, but I don't like her.

Yea, I think that this rho sigma seriously needs to get her facts straight before she calls and tells you that you're invited to pref...I mean that's totally not at all cool. Well, I hope that COB works out with Alpha Chi!

Hey Pam - I have been reading your thread (whenever I am able to get on the internet!) and crossing my fingers for you every step of the way - now to know that AXO is in your heart, makes me ache for you even more! Any chapter would be lucky to have you, and if they can't see that, then they are missing out!! This ESPECIALLY goes for AXO!

Having gone through many recruitment sessions, I can tell you that I always tell them not to discount the older girls -- yes, having freshmen is better for longevity with the chapter, but they often lack the maturity and grace that they need to be responsible!!

I pledged as a junior, and have been WAY more active for the Fraternity through my alum status than any freshman :p

Don't discount snaps or COB's -- or informal recruitment if chapter's on campus offer it. It doesn't mean they pity you, or are less desirable chapters - it means that they saw something special in you, and you can be just what they need to get some new energy sparked!!

Regardless of how it works out in the end, you are a trooper and you have done no shame to yourself or to us - you only make us believe more strongly that saying "no" automatically to juniors isn't always a smart move! Best wishes to you always!!!

wow!
 

first time i read a rush thread and i have to say it was very intense and dramatic.

you can always be a Sig Ep Sweetheart :)

your rho sigma is very shady....that's ridiculous.
but keep your head up. if cob presents itself, run with it. keep a smile on your face and understand we are all so proud of you.

Well said, 33girl!

I was extended a COB bid, and was thrilled that AOII wanted me. Trust me, I've never heard of anyone being extended a "pity bid" anywhere. If you are extended a bid--whether it's through Formal or a Snap Bid or Open recruitment/COB--it's because that sorority wants YOU. I've been part of AOII for almost 20 years now, and I can state that it hasn't made a difference all about how I got to AOII.

I don't know if anyone will have COB at UT-K, but if you're interested make sure to ask someone and follow up if need be! There's nothing wrong with asking and letting the recruitment staff know you'd still be interested in joining a sorority! Good luck!

Christin

Pam, I am so bummed out that things didn't work out for you! You're such an awesome girl and you'd make an incredible addition to any sorority.

i am chiming in on the COB idea. Don't let one event get in the way of your dreams. I have never been thru formal recruitment nor does my house participate in it, but our events are similar to COB events, so I have heard. You get to know more girls... you aren't forced to leave to go to another one after 30 minutes... people are more relaxed.

Also, try a local sorority. Particularly ones that are associated with Panhellenic if possible. (I don't know who is at your school.) The way I figure, a greek is a greek, regardless.

If I were you I would contact the greek advisor about her. For her to do that to you, who knows she may have done that to other girls. Let them know so she can not be another Gamma Chi again and hurt girl that are not as strong as you.


Chris

I agree. It was VERY wrong of her to renew someone's hopes and then dash them again. This could not be proper procedure and should be looked into.

ditto

Oh my gosh, I thought I was gonna choke when i read through everything. I'd be so upset if that happened to me. You are a strong women to even be able to type after that.

I really have to agree with everyone that COBing would not be pity. If they didn't want you, they wouldn't take you, period. Formal recruitnment has so many restrictions and rules, COB may be perfect for the house to let in all the girls they really want to. Go for it like you did for formal!! It could pay off big time!

I think it is a very strong possibility that your Rho Chi is a SK...and she is having a lot of trouble remaining neutral.

I'm so sorry about your rush experience...I would definitely recommend checking out any of the sororities that are COBing. It is a TOTALLY different experience and it might open up a lot of doors to houses that you might not have clicked with during rush...Good Luck!

I'm really sorry that things have turned out the way that they have. If you are still feeling uncomfortable with your Rho Sigma's behavior, PLEASE contact Panhel!

I did COB, and I think it's a great thing. Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns, okay?

Hugs!

I agree with you guys that her Rho Chi is shady but you shouldn't jump to conclusions and say she's a Sigma Kappa.

You are right, clearly her RX is from some entirely other chapter and pulled sigma kappa out of thin air.

Her Rho Chi could have gotten her mixed up with another girl, we don't know what happened.

Maybe there was some kind of mix up in Panhel that we don't know about. I was a PX last year, and weird mix ups can happen. I know sometimes a member of Panhel would just tell me to take an action and I would follow. Maybe her PX was just following orders? There is always a possibility that she is a SK, but maybe we should let RedFox call Panhel and see if she can find anything out?

Pam, I am so sorry that things have not worked out so far. Please consider COB - it seems to be a good and more informal way to meet more members and make an informed decision. You should be proud of yourself for what you have done - many girls would not have wanted to rush.

Feel better, ok??