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I just saw my innocence go bye bye reading this thread.....or what's left of it.
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Don't stick a dildo up my arse and say "Who's the b*tch now?"
Don't conduct in any other position other then the missionary position in Florida. It's illegal. Do call me "Big Pappa Pump" |
* Don't brag about what you can do, but then cop out of the deed later
* Do bite, suck, lick my neck! |
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http://www.rockyhorror.com/images/pix5.jpg Do talk dirty while getting it on (but please do not cross the line if you care to finish up) Don't ask the other to make you something to eat right afterwards, give her 5 minutes to enjoy the after glow :D (j/k) RUgreek |
Trampoline?? Anyone??!! :D :o
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-Rudey --Once again, I'd like to reiterate the fact that you are all deviants. |
DO make sure that I want to before you assume I do... but most of the time... I DO :)
DON'T move me if I'm moaning loud let me finish where I'm at and then we can move :) DO kiss me but not so hard that I lose concentration from other things... DON'T just kiss me on the mouth. DO tell me that you liked it. DON'T tell your fraternity brothers what you liked about it!!! DO want to do it again either immediately or first then when we wake up in the morning... I'll wake you up the old fashioned way :) DON'T compare me to any Porn movies! |
:mad: DON'T get so messed up on some weird pill that you look like you have Parkinsons Disease and then have sex with me.
DON'T have sex in a room with no air conditioning when it's 80some degrees out at nite. DON'T get so messed up before sex that you are fallin all over me. |
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LMBAO......
This thread is so funny!
Do: Try new places Kiss me all over (not sloppily) Try new positions Bring out the romantic in me LISTEN to me and my ideas (they are always the bomb!) Let me enjoy the after glow Massage me (this is a must) Talk to me during the act Cuddle Dont: Leave after its over (unless I put you out) Hold on to me, when there is a fight outside my door (I wanna see it even though its a mood killer) Come through the front door, for the world to see (booty calls only) Lie to me about size because when I see it (Imma laugh and put you out) Thats all I can think of right now, but guys are a trip! :rolleyes: Peace Q |
Do: take the top, and forcefully is a plus
Dont: get mad if it takes a while, some of us would like to be a minute man every once and a while Dont: be all touchy feely on the member at a party and then forget about that after you lead me back to your room. Do: tell me during the day that you want to be naughty right then and there Do: be controlling, there is nothing hotter than a girl who knows what she likes and demands it |
OMG please don't tell me it's ok to give u head outside cuz ur family is inside and no one will come outside.
DON'T, when your mom walks outside and catches us, get up and tell your mom that you were just gettin great head and that she ruined it. DON'T leave me outside with your mom so I have to listen to her stories of how she's been caught before and that I shouldn't be embarrassed and that if he wants to hook up with me he should bring me inside. Or make me listen to how some people think it is romantic to do sexual things outside. HOW EMBARRASSING! :o |
That is very funny!:)
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I would have died of embarrassment! edited to add: DO talk dirty, but DON"T treat me/ talk to me like I'm a dime store hooker! |
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My add-ons:
DON'T make me feel beautiful while it's happening and then ignore me the next day. When you're walking to the bed, DON'T strut like you're the king of the world. Cockiness is a huge turn-off. DO feel free to tell me what you want. Just remember that subtlety is key. How and when you tell me these things is important! and finally... DON'T tell me that you can't use condoms. I do my part of the birth control method; you do yours. :cool: |
How bout a follow up to my bein walked in on story?
In his room last nite and his mom is in the kitchen... Aunt: Where's Josh at? Mom: Prolly gettin his d&*^ sucked. OMG. Anyways, please do last a lil longer than 5 minutes. Thank you. |
Do- Learn to control your left leg for clutching so it doesn't get all wobbly when I'm giving you head on the interstate.
Feel free to bite me, just don't draw blood Smack that ass :D Take off your socks! Nothing ruins it more for me than if you're totally naked but still have your socks on. Don't- Worry about getting picked on cuz your floormates can hear me through the walls. They're just jealous. Drip sweat on me, please....yuck Ask for anything that you aren't willing to give/receive in return (ex. oral sex, anal sex, etc.) Worry about your roommate walking in. I'm in my element and what he sees is his fault. The big black X on the door shoulda been enough warning. ETA: Don't be afraid to laugh during sex. There's no way you can keep a straight face when our bodies make that farting noise when we're that close together. Take a second for both of us to laugh it off, and then get back into the action. |
Don't automatically assume that since we've slept together before, that you can get it whenever you feel like it, ESPECIALLY when you KNOW I have a boyfriend!
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do wanna have it be more than just sex.....
do kiss me with your eyes open when it's all said and done don't flip me all over the place.....well, not every 5 seconds, anyway ;) do get rowdy and talk dirty DON'T friggin tell me "you're SO much better than my ex"....while you are trying to compliment, all you're doing is bringing up your past and straight up admitting to thinking of your ex....while, true, i am prob better ;), don't bring up old isht. ever.... |
DONT FREAK OUT!!! ARG
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AMEN!!! OMG, what on earth possess a guy to leave his socks on when everything else is off?? |
This is so funny. Bump!
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Just thought of another one:
Just because I'm having my period does NOT mean it's hummer week!!! |
I just find it interesting you guys are saying all this while having your letters in the signatures. I'm not trying to flame anyone or start crap. Yeah sex does happen in real life but is it healthy to associate your letters with being this outward and blatant?
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DO act out on The Grapist fantasies-put on that Barney costume and do a handstand.
DON'T call out Ronald McDonald's name during sex-I'll knock the hizzle fo nizzle out of you |
Don't fart ever. ITs never cute.
NEVER fart when I am performing oral sex on you. ITs fricking gross. |
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http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0266452/C138-25.jpg Or are you a Barney purist? http://pbskids.org/barney/children/m...ges/upisup.jpg |
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LMFAO....no she did not just say "hummer week"....omg....priceless......LOL... :D |
Do call me back when I call you nonstop. I'm not just callin to get my play station back jackass! I want some of my ghetto-boy booty!
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-...shysitting.jpg At least I think he's hot? :confused: |
Do massage my entire body with massage oil...you never know, you might get one too! ;)
Do play recreational sports (tennis, soccer) or workout with me! I like to see you all worked-up and sweaty! |
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Very thug like . . not my time, I don't like the ghetto look and I don't like guys lol.
I really don't like ghetto slang in people I am talking to either. Its boring. Quote:
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Here are mine...
-DO keep asking me if YOU can go down on ME because YOU like it SO much... that's great! -DO play your guitar and serenade me in bed beforehand... LOVE that! -DO stop and say "hi" while kissing (I remember an episode from Big Brother last season and Lisa started crying when Eric did that because she always wanted a guy to do that)... when a guy did that to me I thought it was so sweet! -DO it in a bedroom that has a ceiling mirror above the bed or a mirror that's the full length of the bed. BUT -DON'T constantly stare at the mirror... some times yet, but not the whole time. -DO leave a button down shirt lying around so I can slip it on while you're in the bathroom and you can unbotton it when you come out. -DO change your sheets if we got them messy earlier in the day. -DO use chocolate pudding if it happens to be in your fridge in your room. AND -DO lick off all the chocolate pudding so we're not too sticky. -DO move to the floor if your bed's too squeaky... I'm not trying to wake up all of your brothers at 7a.m. AND -DO put your comforter on the floor and make sure that I'm comfortable. -DO it in a tent when it's just the 2 of you camping. -DO say my name. -DO compliment my body. -DO it in a chair. -DO give me pecks here and there just to be playful. -DO CUDDLE! -DON'T drink RED gatorade and accidentally spill it all over my WHITE bra... grrrr. -DON'T rip my clothes off... my shirts can be very fragile (and expensive) and if you tear them I won't be happy. -DON'T suck on my belly button ring... I get nervous that you'll rip it out. -DON'T say "I don't have condoms because I never used them with my ex-girlfriend (of a few months)." -DON'T stay forever in the morning... I've got things to do! -DON'T snore! |
don't think it's necessary to use an "extended pleasure" condom when you've been drinking.....it's not.
do inform me that i have an "undercover booty" lmao...."in those jeans, it was ghetto, but outta them jeans...BA-DOW"....and like it. ;) do do your best at all times....i will be impressed, and you will be rewarded..... |
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