Hang in there!
 

Oh, gosh. .. .Please tell her to simply ask during the next round of parties if there are any engineering majors and could she please be introduced to them. When I was at Auburn, there were several engineering majors. My roommate was one of them.

I know she must be tired --- walking, heat, humidity, lot of small talk --- it can old. But the rest of the week should be much better as there aren't as many parties every day.

Good luck!

______
Tri Delta Alum

I have a relative who is an engineering major at Auburn and in a sorority. One of her best friends in the sorority is also in engineering. I'm sure there are more, but that is the one I have heard mentioned. She enjoyed knowing someone in her engineering classes her freshman year.

However, I do remember she had similar thoughts as your daughter as she went through the process. In fact, she didn't plan to pledge, but she changed her mind at pref. She is extremely glad she did. I doubt your daughter will meet her at rush though as she is working behind the scenes.

I agree it doesn't hurt to have your daughter to ask.

Crazy day today - luckily parties were done before it started to pour down rain. More storms coming tonight

Just wanted to say - remember to start over your rankings each day. Think just about the invites you have and start them off with a clean slate. All kinds of things can go wrong day one. The chapter where things didnt go well one day could wow you the next if you give them a chance!

I was thinking the same thing as this. It's still not "fair" to the PNMs who only find out too late how important recs are. But, theoretically, if enough PNMs come in with no recs, then there will be some who get invites to many of the chapters just because chapters need to hit their invite numbers each day.

I also wanted to say that it complicates the issue because there are always girls who say " I didn't have any recs and I did great!" when really they just didnt know they had a rec because a friend of their mom or a teacher or the local alum group sent in a rec for them

Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! This happens all the time and the clueless, over confident PNM thinks that she was so super special that she got into fabulous ABC without a rec., when in actuality her kindergarten teacher/ballet instructor/choir director sent in a rec., unbeknownst to the PNM.

I really don't think you can equate choosing a college with sorority recruitment. At the heart of it, all NPC orgs provide pretty comparable experiences.

As I said, the advice from Auburn PH is dumb (not to mention unfairly classist and whatnot), but let's keep it in perspective.

My sweet daughter was invited back to 9 of her top 12 for the philanthropy round. She is extremely excited! Keep praying for decent weather, please!

Good advice!! I was also an engineering major and now I am a professor. I know many women who have combined challenging majors with sorority membership. The older members were very supportive and helpful my first year.

Classes had started when I went through recruitment, and I had an engineering classmate who was paired up with me during 2 rounds at her chapter. I'm pretty sure I was her "rush crush," because she gave me the saddest look in class when I didn't return to her house for pref (this was back in the day when we did decline "extra" invites -- I was invited to 4 chapters for pref, but we could only go to 2). After the second round, I'd realized that the conversations tended to fall flat after the rusher asked "what's your major?" Many people are intimidated by science, and they would generally say something like, "Wow," then change the subject. It made me feel weird and nerdy. Gamma Phi Beta became my solid favorite due to what they did at the start of the 3rd round. Three sisters I hadn't met yet greeted me in the entryway, and said, "are you an engineering major?" I thought, uh oh, but one of the other sisters said, "Sarah thought she saw you in the building! So are we!" They made me feel special, and I knew I didn't have to be worried that my major was a turn-off. That was the "aha moment" for me, and I knew I'd found my home. I can't promise this will happen for your daughter, but I'd encourage her to stick it out. What she is feeling right now is natural and not unusual.

D has a full schedule, but lost 2 favorites. She's feeling more rested and relaxed today. She has really been looking forward to this round. I'm hoping she can move forward without worrying about the why's of what she didn't get.

And in case you're interested to know - she was kept by the one where she didn't have a rec.

^^^
Where she did not obtain a rec ahead of time....
She may have one and not know until bid day

I just dont want girls to think more or less about any one group because they got invited back and they did not have a rec. They might have one they did not know about

Exactly!

Yep, you never know what recs or letters of support might be lurking in the background.

After I pledged and found out you had to have a rec to receive a bid, said, "but I didn't HAVE one!". "Oh yes you did", and then the actives named two women, one a teacher at my HS, and the other, the mom of one of my male friends, both alums of the chapter who at that time, wrote the recs for all the girls from my HS. Didn't even know they were sorority women.

I wasn't trying to paint with that wide of a brush. I am just perplexed as to why one would put in all this effort to get to ABC U and then pump the breaks.

Thank you everyone for all the encouraging messages about engineering and sororities.

My daughter was asked back to 6 houses. While most girls would be disappointed to not have a full schedule, my daughter is excited to be only 6 houses away to her new home! ;)

In the end you can only join one aumom. And I think the initial cuts are the easiest to handle. How attached could you really get after 20 minutes? These schedules sound exhausting to me too!

Well, no. I certainly didn't have the experience that an NPC member at Auburn has, and vice versa. Not better or worse, but certainly they might feel they were in another world if they came to my campus.

But I've said many times that I don't get these people from Georgia who send their kids to Harvard and make sure to get a new, warmer wardrobe because it's kind of a given the climate will be different there, but think rush will be the same (and vice versa). I'm sure there are southerners who have ended up at Penn State with "game day dresses" and been a little surprised.

I meant across the NPC groups at the same campus. My point here is that the women who don't have recs likely get placed, if they maximize options and so on, and getting placed in a WRC is not really that different, in the long-run, from having a perfect recruitment.

It doesn't excuse bad advice from the PH, but I also don't think the PNM from a small town in Minnesota should lose sleep over not having a rec to all seventeen groups.

My DD has a full schedule for round 2 but only received invitations from 6 of her top 12. We are from out of state, I was not in a sorority and we unfortunately believed what we read on the Panhellenic website about recs. She did have a few but I wish we would have sought out advice on this website and had a rec from each sorority. Although one top sorority that she had two recs from dropped her but they were in her bottom 5 so she was not upset by that.
She is going into this with an open mind. Last night she said everyone was so sweet and all of the sororities seemed very similar and like they would be great.
There were only a few she felt like the forced conversations were awkward but that's to be expected I suppose.
I'm going to be purchasing some wine for myself to make it through this week...

Did anyone else not receive a full set of invitations? Mine is very concerned about her chances after only receiving about half.

Trust me, she's not alone. She probably FEELS like she's the only loser at the school who doesn't have a full list of exactly and only the chapters she wanted to visit for round 2. It simply isn't true. It only takes one, and even if she only had 1 after round 1, she would still have potential to make a match by the end. Tell her to chin up and if it's at all possible, consider the gaps in her schedule to be a reprieve from the insanity. She can go to each party with a little more energy and focus than the girls who have 8 hours a day of nonstop happy happy. Cuz we all know, that's exhausting.

I almost think it would be better of they made bigger cuts in the first round. Like DubaSis said it would be easier to focus each sorority if they only has 7 or 8 to go to.

And they can only get one bid :)

My daughter got invitations to 6 of the 12 slots. 4 today and 2 tomorrow.

I understand all of that, but was there just a really large number cut after the first round or not. Mine is from out of state and very quiet, but terrific in the grades and activities, so just curious about her chances.

My darling Debbie had large cuts after Round 1 but by Pref had the max # of choices. The entire process was emotionally draining combined with being out of state and homesick. While her ego and self-confidence may have loved to have had more choices initially, I think looking back that she would have been a basket case at the end if she'd had close to the max choices each round. She felt some angst watching girls go because "everybody has more than me" was the tale of woe but at the end she had the max of 3 and she survived.

From the recruitment pages of previous years, there have been girls who got cut heavily the first round but still went to 3 pref parties and there have been girls who have had a full schedule after first round but did not get invited to any pref parties. In my uneducated opinion, it doesn't seem to matter. :confused:

No NPC group makes a perfect impression with absolutely every PNM in the first recruitment round.

Auburn's second round of 12 max invites mean both PNMs and NPC women gain the opportunity to make better-informed decisions regarding membership.

Let us know if your DD changes her mind about her "bottom six" groups after second round.

Catsn10s, If she is very quiet at the parties it could be misinterpreted that she is not interested in the sorority member, the sorority, and/or the topic of conversation. She needs to be good on paper and in person. Plenty of girls from out of state get bids at Auburn so don't worry about your daughter being penalized for being from out of state. If she can be more outgoing that will probably work in her favor.

My daughter is a PNM this year, and she attended 12 Philanthropy parties. Four of the twelve invites were from houses she had listed in her "bottom 5" after the IWT round. Not surprisingly, two of those four are now among her favorites. Anxious but eager to see the list she hopefully will get in the morning. She is a legacy, but she understands she needs to find her own best fit. I'm quietly thrilled, however, that my house is high on her list for now!

Good luck to all.

Just the other day - a friend told me about her DD had been disappointed in her legacy chapter, but went back and 2nd round liked it more, until after prefs she said she couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Dont forget girls in house get nervous too

Any other Moms of PNMS having trouble sleeping? I don't seem to make it past 4AM before my mind starts the what ifs and OMGs!

It's very difficult to sleep! It's also difficult to focus at work during the day, which is a bit unfortunate. I didn't anticipate how emotionally consuming this week would be!

It is as tough on moms as it is on the pnms. In fact, it might be tougher, because you all only get the information that your daughters choose to share with you. Hang in there moms! Grab that bottle of wine, get that bag of Cheetos, turn on the Lifetime channel and try not to worry.

Yes, I have been up early waiting for news. My daughter was asked back to 3 houses, her legacy dropped her. I am happy they did because I felt it would be more misleading if they kept her and dropped her before pref. She would be happy at any of the remaining sororities, but Mom has a "favorite". She only spoke of one house that had members she thought were really sweet to her and they are still in the mix! I call them the "sweet house"! LOL :D

I started watching the clock at 2am - lol I can't wait until Saturday and I can get some sleep after that.

D's fave is still in the mix. She got a full schedule and she dipped into 2 of her lower ranked ones. She's way more relaxed about this than me. Luckily I'm not with her so I don't rub off on her.

She's had her eyes on one place all week. She's so sure of it being the one that it scares me.

Mine got a full schedule, but lost a couple she really liked along the way. She says there isn't a house on the list she didn't like in some way, and she seems content and happy going into skit day. Her roomie received four invites today to houses she really likes. She too is a happy girl.

The wine is definitely being chilled for later. Fingers crossed for all the PNMs and their Moms!

Mine was cut pretty hard. Has 4 left, 2 who have been favorites all along. I am praying that she goes to prefs with at least one of her two favorites!