Personally, I question if the rush chair acted unilaterally. Assuming the PNM had a "sky high" rating, somebody(s) would have championed her cause. UF is a huge chapter and if the rush chair arbitrairily dropped a top candidate, then there would be a lot of flack. I sense there is more to what happened.

Re: Re: Re: To h2oot - yes, but...
 

Well, let me give an example. In my chapter, a woman approached me about a PNM. She had a HUGE problem with the girl, but it was not something she could share with the chapter. This PNM was friends with a lot of my sisters, and they were all pulling for her each stage. At the discretion of myself (president), the rush chair, and the chapter advisor, we dropped her. No questions asked. This is not an abuse of power, it is protecting this one woman from having to get in the middle of what would have been an emotionally charged battle. On the other hand, the chapter did not question it, because they trust that we would not drop someone without a good reason.

So all I am saying is that there may be a reason she was dropped, even if most of the chapter supported her. Sometimes the chapter members never know.

You know, I'm surprised that girls within let this information out.
My daughter got a "reason" given to her by member's BOYFRIEND! Of course the boyfriend and my daughter were old friends, but still it seems to show that some individuals lack the social graces they and their chapter claim to possess- to carry this information outside of the chapter is the utmost testimony to
tasteless, clodish behavior.

I know you feel better having a reason, and that reason isn't destructive to you or your confidence (my daughter's explanation was OK as well) but good lord, that is something that should NEVER go beyond the DAY or the IMMEDIATE conversation.

Maybe knowing gives you closure (I really hate that term) and I know you are friends, but that girl did her chapter more harm than YOU good.

Molly:
I am sorry that Chi Omega cut you but I have to add my two cents. There is no way that one single person got you"axed." She may have been vociferous about her opinion, but if the rest of the chapter didn't feel that it was a factor you would not have been cut. No one person, not even Rush Chair, has that kind of authority. It is very possible that when the situation was brought up, enough people felt that it wasn't the kind of representation that they wanted. What is perfectly acceptable to one person is totally tasteless to another. We make our judgments in life, and we face the consequences of those judgments. I agree that you already had this girl labeled in a negative light as you admitted that upon your first meeting you felt she was an "ice queen bitch." Maybe she was just shy. Maybe she was having a bad day. You made your judgment of her based on your first impression, just as she made hers of you.

Anyway it is an unfortunate situation. I hope that you can get beyond this and feel more at home with KKG. KKG is an excellent sorority nationally and I am sure that you will have a fantastic greek experience with them. Just a word of advice....you might want to watch how much you pst about still wanting to be elsewhere, just out of respect for your chapter and your sisters. I know that you felt slighted, and I can understand how that hurts but it is important to remember that KKG saw things in you that were very important to them and they wanted you to be a sister....when you took your bid you pledged your loyalty to them.

Best of luck to you as a KKG.

JAM, I could not possibly agree with you more. I think that was very well said.

I'm not surprised--stuff that should be kept under wraps gets out all the time, and you'd be surprised how many people know your business. That said, I don't agree with the people who said that one person cannot "axe" a PNM all by herself. Yes, one person can. It didn't happen to me, thank goodness (not to my knowledge, anyway!), but I know whereof I speak because the people in my chapter have virtually no say in who gets invited back. That's up to the rush committee, headed by the rush chair, and if one of those people on that committee did not like a particular girl (even if she got truckloads of green cards) I'd be willing to be money she would not be on the list of those invited back. If the rush chair in this case really is such a bitchy character, maybe people were afraid of her and didn't challenge her for that reason...hell, I'm not sure I'd want to get on her wrong side either, even if I was an initiated sister!

I'm really sorry this happened and quite frankly, I think it's ridiculous, but I cannot say I'm all that surprised. It happens all the time, not just in sororities but everywhere. It would be nice if there was a way you could sue or something! :p Seriously, though, it was probably a good thing that you ended up a Kappa because at the end of the day, at least you know all those girls respected you and didn't treat you unfairly.

Incidents like this are, in my opinion, a good reason to hold rush at the beginning of the year and to go through as a freshman. I think that would help young women from doing things that may hurt their reputation or cause potential sisters to feel that she is not a good candidate to become one of the family. I have a hard time believing Molly would have participated in the video had she already been a pledge and an older sister could have taken her aside and told her, "Not such a great idea....."

Well said, Erika

Maybe so Killarney, but if the incident happened after she was initiated, there would probably be even MORE bullshit than there already is.

As for this "The Rush chair has the right" crap, that's bullshit. As 33girl said, the fur would've been flying all over our house. Now mind you, our rushes are much smaller than these, but we know who we all like, and we are asking the minute our lists come back if that girl is coming back. If we knew that our rush chair did this, we'd be pretty pissed. The rush chair is elected because she's got good ideas for recruitment and because she's well organized at setting up successful recruitment, not for her "good judgment as to who she thinks would be a good sister".

Just my .02!

Achtung, I'm sorry but again I will disagree with you......perhaps in some chapters one person has this power but this was a Chi Omega chapter that dropped Molly, and as a Chi Omega I can tell you that our rush does not operate that way. Obviously I can't go into detail but we have certain procedures in place to ensure that one person cannot prevail over the entire chapter in these situations. I can see why everyone feels so sorry for Molly.....it is always heartbreaking when someone gets their heart set on a certain chapter and then things don't go their way. But at the same time, we have all said time and time again that nothing is a sure thing. We all have to trust in our sisters' judgment in rush situations and if there were sisters who felt that it was tasteless to perform in this Hooters' video (I am not saying I feel this way, only that someone else very well could have) then they have every right to decide that they do not want someone who does that to represent their chapter. It is also possible that what this "ice queen" supposedly said was taken out of context or completely twisted around. We all know about hearsay. It is possible that the chapter liked this girl very much but that she just didn't hit high enough on the priority list.....

I'm sorry, I am just really feeling bad for KKG.....it seems like they have extended their love and sisterhood to someone who really doesn't want to be there. I also feel bad for Molly, but you have to deal. It's really easy to get bitter and say "oh well their loss" and "they missed out on a great sister, their mistake!!!" etc etc but what does that really accomplish?

Not much to say except
 

I'm new to this forum but I've been drawn to this post. Really the reason being that Molly is an example of how every rushee should be...she went in with an open mind, continued to rush even though her favorite dropped her and is now pledging a really great house. I don't know what formal rush is like since I got a bid from Phi Mu during an informal spring rush. However, I do know that I was in the right place, it wasn't the most "popular" place or the "biggest" place but it was my place. I have since left that particular school because of family problems and looking to transfer to another university in the Fall. No matter where I end up, I'll always have my place in Phi Mu. Molly found her place...and that's the most important thing. Molly, I hope you enjoy your pledge/new member period, I loved mine!

Re: Not much to say except
 

I totally agree with you, and I had the exact same experience with my choice, going through formal rush being the difference. I love my Phi Mu sisters, and I could never see myself in another GLO.

Molly~
I'm sorry you went through all that you did, but I am so happy that you found your home with Kappa. Enjoy your collegiate years. The bond will last a lifetime!

Choose your actions carefully...
 

To choose thoughtfully that course which occassion and conscience demand

Above is part of our creed, something we try to follow every day. I mention it as something all potential new members should think about before recruitment. You may think no one notices you... you are only 1 on a campus of 10,000 plus but many active members of each sorority are watching you at parties and events. I've read some rush threads where people will even suggest that you don't attend any parties before rush- just to stay safe.

As you go through recruitment; just take the time and think to yourself... is this going to help me or hinder me. And as a suggestion to all my greek sisters.. I heard too many horror stories of funny joke like photos taken with other sisters that suddenly appear on fraternity internet sites (i.e.- that topless contest XYZ sorority did during Spring Break)... in this day- you just can't be safe anymore. Everything is public knowledge with the internet.

ErikaXO, I completely agree with you. I was thinking the same thing while I was reading this thread, then got to your post!

Thanks, Angels......Molly PLEASE don't think that I am trying to launch a personal affront on you because I am not. I totally understand both sides of the situation and I have nothing against you. But I am wondering if the people who are saying "this is a model of how a rushee should be" really read the whole thread. Making nasty remarks about a chapter who dropped you, having a less-than-enthusiastic attitude about the chapter whose bid you accepted and then publishing those feelings for KKG members to see? I don't really think that is how I would want all rushees to be.

Molly, I will say again, you are part of an EXCELLENT sisterhood. Your membership in Kappa Kappa Gamma will follow you for the rest of your life and will cast a light of well-earned admiration upon you by those who meet you. I hope that you are able to put your experience behind you completely and put your energy into your chapter. I just think that this is a good example of how people need to be careful about the things that they do, and also about the things that they say afterward.