Thank you for noticing. I like to think I was remixing both of our styles -- your tone with what I wish would actually happen to him. :)

Are you serious? Because I really do drive a 1995 saturn.

Spooky.:rolleyes:

I KNEW IT!!!!!!

This should be easy to detect, if only by the colour of the font:

"This is why I have been MIA recently. I was incarcerated! :(
Details later... "

Bravo

No, the '98 Honda was the guess - Haley Joel Osment really did drive a '95 Saturn into a mailbox. I always wondered what he was doing with a '95 Saturn in the first place.

Well . . . there was "Speaking of wood........I hope you get a splinter......IN YOUR EYE."

And then there was "I hope your day ends with an out of control car and a steep cliff."

But my personal favorite was "I hope you get speared by a Zulu" in the Africans are less intelligent than Westerners thread.

This could be a whole thread -- "What's your favorite macallan curse?"

I enjoy this one:

While not as cutting as his "curses", it's simpleness speaks the truth.:D

I personally was a fan of his "...Soon" Era:

"I hope your computer catches on fire.... soon"
"I hope you lose your wallet.... soon"
"I hope your computer crashes... soon"
and as AF has already pointed out, "I hope you learn the English language... soon"

Ah, how I miss the Days of Soon. :cool:

This is pretty solid, but it could be even more asinine and everyday, like:

This women nowadays, I tell ya - all they want to do is have sex, enjoy themselves, and vote. Notice how I used the Oxford comma there. Not me, though - I just want a women to settle down, cook pies and shut the fuck up. Notice I did NOT use the Oxford comma there. None of these new-age voting whores for me - hell no. Sexual promiscuity is a scourge upon my 1950s ideals - write it in the sky in gossamer tears: I WILL NOT DATE A WOMAN UNLESS SHE BLEEDS ON MY WEDDING NIGHT, A LA THE DARK AGES. I have not read "Chronicle of a Death Foretold" by Marquez, but if I had, I assure you I would understand the irony.

Whew, I blacked out there - sorry, I got a little out of control.

And yours could have been better with the addition of:

I need a woman who takes care of her feet and legs. She needs to be going in for a pedicure every week. I can't stand a girl with nasty-looking toes. And she's got to lotion up those legs. Nothing worse than a girl with ashy legs.

H I L A R I O U S.
and dead on.

These are great.
The bolded apply to several GCers.:)

That was a good one

For real!