We help local girls from the southern crescent area of Atlanta (Fayette, Coweta, Henry, Clayton and South Fulton) get recs - this year we handled 39requests and about 25% of them were very last-minute. Many moms said they believed what they had been told at the panhel recruitment orientation meetings (for UGA, Georgia Southern, GC&SU, etc) - e.g. that recs were not needed.
www.ascapa.org
We hold an annual sorority info session too - we call it "Afternoon with Athena." We are very fortunate to have the beautiful Phi Mu Hqtrs right here in town - they let us use their training area which is just perfect! :)

Let your daughter know that there may very well be opportunities for COB and that she can always go through spring recruitment as well if she is still interested in being a part of Greek Life. As has been said in this forum many times before, sometimes girls just slip through the cracks but that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't sorority-worthy! Sometimes it just takes a second try.

Clueless Also, I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's release. Give her a big hug--it sounds as if she is level-headed and has a great attitude, but still, it hurts and is a difficult start to the college experience. Hoping the best for her as she discovers everything else that college offers.

I began reading this board because I am joining a chapter advisory board in the fall, and felt like a Greek dinosaur since I rushed when Richard Nixon was president. I, too, was clueless about how much things had changed.

It is amazing that some of the WORST advice and information about dress codes, need for recs, the dynamics of a competitive rush (not really mutual selection for most rushees), legacy issues, etc. comes from the "official" sources of the Greek Offices, Greek Advisors, and School Orientation programs. If girls and parents don't already have Greek connections, and rely on the "official" information, (which logically they would), they can be placed at a distinct disadvantage. Very frustrating, and not healthy for the greek system, as it perpetuates the image of a closed universe (ie if you "have to ask", you "don't belong").

All the best to your daughter.

UGADad Have a Good Day!
 

UGADad,
I meant to ask, any updates? Did you get any sleep last night? :)

Here's hoping for a great day with a little shade for those poor girls!

I think we've discussed this conflicting information before--wasn't the conclusion that perhaps they have to say "recommendations aren't necessary" because that's what they are supposed to say (per NPC? I don't know).

We could put a giant sticky on here that says for SEC recruitment, you must have recs, you must have recs, you must have recs....but unfortunately, most people stumble on this site after things have gone south and at that point it's much too late.

I handed out info about the Atlanta Panhellenic info session to all my daughter's friends' mothers and only one took me up on it and went to the session. They broke the girls up into groups for their prospective schools, but we left so I don't know what the girls were told in those sessions. During the large group session, I wanted to scream when they answered one mother's question "panhellenically" rather than with what most of us with experience know is the truth.....NO, it is NOT better to wait until you get used to school and rush as a sophomore at Alabama! In the craziness that is SEC rush, you need every advantage, and being a sophomore is not an advantage. I really don't know how this can be improved until we can tell the truth without sounding like harpies, gossip mongers or scaring every girl out of even attempting recruitment, but somehow it needs to happen.

I really didn't have a lot of perspective on the numbers until Sunday night when my daughter was corresponding with one of her friends at UGA. They have to cut 1,000 girls for the next day--that's why open house is done at noon. Those girls have to go to work, fight for the hometown girl, try to remember who they met, etc. Then in the next three days, they somehow have to whittle it down to a pledge class. Deserving, smart, nice and wonderful girls are going to get cut and that's just the reality of working with those kinds of numbers.

Last year when so many sweet girls from our HS were disappointed, I wondered what the heck they were looking for in sisters at UGA, too. It's a tough situation, and it seems like a heartless process, but we have to remember it's tough on both sides...and we're talking about 18, 19 and 20 year old girls having to make these kinds of decisions under extreme pressure.

It's no consolation when it's your daughter in pain, but it really isn't personal in most cases, sometimes it's just the luck of the draw on who you talk to when you walk in the door.

Update from mine...
 

Still no recs but she was invited back to 4 today. She was cut from one that she really liked and was surpised she was cut based on the conversations she had there. This one happens to be one she could have had several recs for too. But she is fine.

Of the 4 remaining she has an open mind but 2 were also in her top 3 so hopefully the "no recs" won't hurt her today.

She is so tired that my concern is her true personality may be wilted from exhaustion and heat - but then again everyone is going through that!

I can't express enough how much I ache over the right thing to do regarding these recs this late in the game!

If she prefs a house where she doesn't have a rec, they probably will get one for her. A couple of years ago, the person in charge of getting recs for our HS (for a certain chapter) called me with questions about five girls so she could recommend them. This was pretty late the night before prefs.

If you're really stressed, though, you know that all these forms can be emailed, right? Some chapters don't accept recs after recruitment has started unless they are getting it themselves...I think it's one of those things that varies (and I am hardly an expert on the rules, so take that info for what it's worth).

Clueless also, you have my prayers today, for you and your daughter. This is an overwhelming situation and I have been through it myself on both sides.

At our UGA orientation, I don't recall them saying that recs weren't "necessary", but they did say not to worry if you didn't know anyone, that that would not keep you out. They also said not to worry about getting lots of recs to one house, that after a couple, no more was no better.

Baby Dawg ended up being cut from many houses that had 1-3 recs total. This a.m. she is headed back to 4 houses from 6 yesterday. One of those that cut her was a favorite, and she loved the ladies that took her around both times. However, we had no rec....don't really know if that counted, or if, like another mom said, she tends to be a little shy, a little reserved, but also is a fabulous girl....she comes out of her shell and becomes a leader when she gets acquainted.

I'm just encouraging her to smile lots, have fun, ask lots of questions and enjoy herself. She texted this a.m. that she headed to her first party and left her good shoes on the bus! I told her just to laugh and say she must have had a moment of heat stroke and explain that she normally would have ditched the rainbows for 3rd round. I think a normal girl would laugh with her and totally relate to that feeling. Everyone is tired, and a little brain-dead at this point.

I, too, think that even if a good girl was cut, there may be an opportunity for Continuous Open Bidding (tell her to listen out for details and how to) or Spring Rush. I've heard that after some graduate, they may fill more spaces.

Am praying for all the UGAdaughters, BabyDawgs and others in the UGA Nation today....

Oh, yes, and another alum told me last night that if her sorority had taken all the legacies when she was involved about 3 years ago, they would have filled an entire pledge class! That amazed me....when we were in school, we may have had 10 or 12 go through and 4 to 6 pledge with us.

Our ASCAPA info session does "tell it like it is" and makes sure all the girls who attend "get it" and we encourage them to spread the word to their friends. We want them going in with their eyes wide open - their moms too! So far of the nearly 40 rec requests we processed this summer, none of the girls have dropped out: at GaSouthern we had 2 Kappas, 2 AOPis and 1 Zeta; at Auburn, we had 1 TriDelta, 1 Kappa, 1 DG, 1 AChiO, 1 ChiO, 1 KD, 1 Gamma Phi and six DZs. Waiting to hear how the four we did recs for at Valdosta (2 girls) and Bama (2 Girls) do and esp the 13 we did for UGA girls!

One of the other past ASCAPA presidents and I plan to appeal to the new UGA Greek Life director to include our website address and that of Atlanta Panhel in their recruitment guide and mention us on their website - similar to what they do in Texas...wish us luck!:)

Day 4 Update
 

I am so sorry for the girls and families having a tough rush at UGA -- we feel so fortunate to have found this site "in time" to get the great advice from all the experts. We will keep our fingers crossed that all the girls find a college home where they can be happy and make the kinds of lifelong friends that we made in college.

Anyway, as for UGADaughter, maybe the old saying "Early to bed, early to rise" has some merit. She called at about 7:15 this morning and we heard the voice of a much more relaxed, much more well-rested girl who sounded very content with things. She thanked her mom for all the help and advice and then told her that she was attending 6 parties today and that she would be pleased and honored to be a new member of any of the six houses. They include all the sororities she ranked in her "top 5" and one of her "next two," so all the angst over the number 7 pick last night didn't matter. She said that she knows ranking them tonight will be very tough, but she feels very, very lucky to have that issue ahead of her. She really feels for the girls who are having a tough rush and said she knows that she is a very lucky girl.

The tent talk" is in full force at this point. She is trying not to pay attention to it, but one particular comment she keeps hearing about a sorority being on "social probation" for this whole year has gotten her attention.

Best of luck to all the young ladies at UGA today.

I just found this thread and I am sooo glad to see a dad taking such an initiative in his daughter's recruitment!!

GO UGADad!!!!!!!!!!!! Sitting on pins and needles to hear UGAdaughter's results!!! :D:D

still trying
 

Have called some people today that know my daughter - one was an officer at A O Pi (not sure if I have that spelled right or not) and when she heard that my daughter was rushing she was so upset with me for not telling her as she would have given her a glowing rec. She said that if she had given her a rec and she got cut they would have to call her and let her know why but that she wouldn't be able to share the reason but just prepare me for the cut as her mom. But, my daughter was already cut from A O Pi so we are looking for others that were in the 4 she has today.

I'm glad you're having good success with your group on the south side--my daughter has lots of friends from Fayette county in her sorority at an "undisclosed location".

One mother did mention at the Atlanta session that you should be aware that legacy doesn't mean anything anymore, but other than that, most of the questions were answered with....how shall I say this....a lot of sugar-coating. But I'm not good at that, being a midwesterner, dontcha know! ;)

Got an e-mail. She did get invited back to the one today. She liked them well enough but isn't sure if the whole sorority thing is for her now. She'll go to the pref party if she gets invited but will only pledge if she really feels a bond - in other words she's not desperate to simply be in a sorority. She said she decided to participate in rush to get to know people, and she has met several nice girls. She knows or has heard of several that got no ivites back today, so she doesn't feel so bad. I'm better despite little sleep last night. Still mad that they didn't look deep enough to get to know her at all. The girl who called didn't even get her name right!:mad:, but my experience was totally different (Small mid-atlantic school, early 80's). She will find her niche and be fine.