AlphaFrog,

Actually, I wouldn't care if my legacies even went through recruitment, so there's not likely to be any pressure put on the girl from me.

But honestly at 150+ chapters like where I went to school, I don't buy in much to the idea of the chapter deciding a legacy is authentically "not a good fit for a the chapter" during rush because it's going to be based on a couple of very superficial meetings. There are all types of folks in each organization, really. What not being a good fit would likely mean on my old campus (but not so much at my chapter) in most cases would mean would be A. not cute enough/plump B. not popular enough in high school. C unknown by girls presently in the chapter. Are those the standards, particularly A and B, that you would want used in releasing legacies because that's what folks are probably using in most cases? (We also might add "not from the right type of family" when right type refers mainly to wealth and prominent social position, but that's only for a couple of chapters.)

I suspect that at my old campus legacies don't get much deference because many of the chapters have a couple of new members classes going through rush in any one year. If you know you can't give bids to them all, they you have to evaluate they just like non-legacies. But I don't think the standards actually used are particularly deep and meaningful assessments. Great girls get cut every year probably most often because they don't have connections in the chapter already.

And in the interest of honesty, your hypothetical that someone I raised or was raised with me would "act like an ass" at all of the parties and be rude is just insulting, don't you think? Sure some legacy might act like that but in that case, don't you think the girl is going to drop the group at the earliest opportunity?

I think less harm in done to alumnae relations when chapters communicate with alums about the decisions that they've made. Cutting someone's daughter is going to do harm to the relationship with that person, and not just to "petty" folks like me.

Do you think that they just look into it before the girl goes through recruitment?

Certainly this would be a case where you don't have much to lose in terms of alumna support if you cut her.

I can totally see why it's easiest for the chapters as they do recruitment, especially at big recruitments. At the chapters with hundreds of legacies going through, as a practical matter, the phone calls could take hours. I wonder if Gamma Phi Beta realized that the phone calls don't provide much comfort to the alums anyway.

Do you think that they just look into it before the girl goes through recruitment?

Yup, you'd think they'd start at least when the pnm is a junior, lol.

This expression is new to me. What is a "spa kind of girl"?

I think the GPA scenario is extremely likely in this case. This thread was so poorly written that it was almost incomprehensible. Sorry to be mean, but I can't believe this poster even was in college.

I cannot disagree with this statement.

I'm glad someone came out and said that!

Although the poor writing could indicate a poor GPA, I am not entirely convinced that it was her GPA because she did get a pretty decent number of invites for round 2, more than a typical PNM with a low GPA would get. My thinking is that she was downright rude at her legacy chapter that she deemed not good enough for her, and we won't know if it is Alpha Phi or Pi Beta Phi because she still can't get her story straight.

A sock puppet perhaps?

Ok, so you don't care if your "legacy" rushes, but if she does, she better not be cut from your chapter?? THAT makes sense.:rolleyes:

Yes, Rush can be superficial, but it's still not an excuse that they should keep your "legacy" if she's less of a fit than another girl. And, if the chapter's standards of "fit" includes looks or activities, that's their prerogative.

Oh, and children are products of their enviroment, but that's not always a deciding factor. The best parents in the world that do everything right can end up raising a worthless excuse for a human being. So it's not really insulting your hypothetical parenting skills to imply that someone you raise could turn out the wrong way. Nature, in many cases, has been proven to be stronger than nurture.

Yes I can I still have it written down in my rush book. Thanks for being so rude.

Perhaps editing your posts would make the story clearer.

My point is that you care much more deeply about the person related to you than you do the chapter already, which is why if I had a legacy I would want her to do what she wanted to do. It'd be fun if she joined my group, but not at the expense of her doing what she wanted to do.

On the other hand, my connection to a chapter is by its very nature weaker. And in the present is somewhat based on what the current members do. Rejecting my relative isn't going to strengthen those bonds.

If a person regards a chapter of her GLO on an even level with her regard for members of her own family, I think there maybe something wrong in that family to begin with. I would think a normal person would think of the relative ahead of the chapter, and it would be helpful in terms of alum relations for the chapter to keep in mind.

I know it's not possible for a chapter to keep every legacy. Even if it were, there are legitimate reasons why legacies could/should be cut.

I'm pointing out that a cutting legacies may weaken the lifelong relationships that members have with chapters and maybe even organizations. And I was wondering what Gamma Phi Beta knew about making the phone calls that caused them to not make them.

(It's hard for me to relate to the idea that you think a PNM is going to spontaneously but deliberately act like a jerk during recruitment rather than conduct herself in the manner she's been raised. It doesn't really matter if it's nature or nurture, but the time she goes off to college, she's probably going to have some foundation in knowing how to behave, good or bad. If you think that her choices are acting like a jerk vs. joining a group she doesn't want to join, I don't really think I look at membership the way you do.)

I guess having 2 kids, I'm going to pull the "love each one differently" card.

I love my daughter...and I hope that she chooses to rush, and if that college has ASA, it would be great if she went ASA. But, if my sisters there decided she wouldn't be a fit for that chapter, and cut her, it wouldn't change how I love ASA. Daughter and ASA are seperate loves...and if they someday become the same love, then great. But I know, it's not the chapter's obligation to keep me a happy and involved alum, that's my responsiblity.

I think the responsibility is mutual. The chapter doesn't have to completely defer to you any more than they'd defer to a single active member, and even then, I'd say alumna opinions should count less. But the chapter isn't free to expect to do something that hurts you and also expect you to just suck it up and keep working for them.