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SouthernSweet 09-09-2006 10:12 AM

Well, there is always the flip sides to everything.

My neighbor's parents have been married for over 25 years and his mother has never worked a day in her life, never went to college, lived the classic "country club wife" lifestyle...imagine her shock when her husband came home one day and announced that he was moving out because he had filed for a divorce....she is getting a job for the first time in her life in her 50's...because she HAS to.

When I was in my early 20's...I used to ponder the same thing, career vs being a stay-at-home mom, etc.

The problem is, you never know where life takes you anymore, and sometimes options that you think will be an option, in the end, you really don't have a choice in.

I am now a single parent, and vowed my ENTIRE life that was never going to happen to me...and it did. I have friends that thought they had rock-solid marriages, and discovered, 2,3, and 4 kids later, that they don't and are now divorced, dealing with step-children, custody battles, etc.

My hard earned life advice is this: Don't plan too far in advance...because you never know who you will fall in love with, and what can and cannot do with your career, work vs not working, becomes a JOINT decision and made on what is best for your marriage and your family, or whatever circumstances you find yourselvs in.

KAY10 09-10-2006 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernSweet
Well, there is always the flip sides to everything.

My neighbor's parents have been married for over 25 years and his mother has never worked a day in her life, never went to college, lived the classic "country club wife" lifestyle...imagine her shock when her husband came home one day and announced that he was moving out because he had filed for a divorce....she is getting a job for the first time in her life in her 50's...because she HAS to.

When I was in my early 20's...I used to ponder the same thing, career vs being a stay-at-home mom, etc.

The problem is, you never know where life takes you anymore, and sometimes options that you think will be an option, in the end, you really don't have a choice in.

I am now a single parent, and vowed my ENTIRE life that was never going to happen to me...and it did. I have friends that thought they had rock-solid marriages, and discovered, 2,3, and 4 kids later, that they don't and are now divorced, dealing with step-children, custody battles, etc.

My hard earned life advice is this: Don't plan too far in advance...because you never know who you will fall in love with, and what can and cannot do with your career, work vs not working, becomes a JOINT decision and made on what is best for your marriage and your family, or whatever circumstances you find yourselvs in.

You're right. Marriage is so messed up today, it's insane. My parents have been married for 43 years and before they retired both of them worked in their careers. The divorce rate today is over 60 percent. My parents told me today, it's not a we or us thing, it's about me or I. If things were like they were years and years ago, then maybe I would marry, but now?? Hell no.:eek:

mulattogyrl 09-10-2006 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernSweet
Well, there is always the flip sides to everything.

My neighbor's parents have been married for over 25 years and his mother has never worked a day in her life, never went to college, lived the classic "country club wife" lifestyle...imagine her shock when her husband came home one day and announced that he was moving out because he had filed for a divorce....she is getting a job for the first time in her life in her 50's...because she HAS to.

When I was in my early 20's...I used to ponder the same thing, career vs being a stay-at-home mom, etc.

The problem is, you never know where life takes you anymore, and sometimes options that you think will be an option, in the end, you really don't have a choice in.

I am now a single parent, and vowed my ENTIRE life that was never going to happen to me...and it did. I have friends that thought they had rock-solid marriages, and discovered, 2,3, and 4 kids later, that they don't and are now divorced, dealing with step-children, custody battles, etc.

My hard earned life advice is this: Don't plan too far in advance...because you never know who you will fall in love with, and what can and cannot do with your career, work vs not working, becomes a JOINT decision and made on what is best for your marriage and your family, or whatever circumstances you find yourselvs in.

Excellent points.


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