If he ended a healthy relationship because of family pressure, there's definitely something wrong.

It depends on the family. If they're the kind that are constantly in your face and butting in, like the family from Everybody Loves Raymond, then yea, it would be a lot easier to end a relationship than to hear your mother constantly putting down your wife or girlfriend every chance she possibly got.

Family tradition should be left to the family. My parents don't judge based on skin color, but the average black girl (that my parents come in contact with) is not the type of person they would envision me with. Also, perhaps he's just not attracted to black women.

What I understand him to be saying is that because of how he was raised, it wouldn't even OCCUR to him in normal life (as in not just talking on the internet) to date a woman who isn't white. I think this is different from someone (referred to in an earlier post as "pussy") who would change his behavior based on the disapproval of friends and family. That person would WANT to date someone of a different race and wouldn't, based on the judgment of others (inherently lame, IMHO). Macallan would never even have the idea to date a non-white woman. It's just his preference, based on how he was raised. His phrasing here is somewhat inelegant, but I really don't see the problem.

I have a very hard time getting upset about the dating preferences of others. It's not hurting anyone, and everyone should be free to date whomever he or she wishes, right? I personally wouldn't discount someone because of race, but I'd discount lots of people because of religion, and I don't care if anyone thinks that's offensive.

It wasn't.

You will have to learn to do what I do on this board: Ignore some people's sensationalism and outlandish flights of fantasy.

Ah, I'm with you. It's the reaction to family and friends that concerned me about the other post.

Therefore you have answered your own question. It "matters" because people make it "matter." Now, why'd you start this thread?

It's about a combination of race (which isn't always the same thing as "skin color") and social class. If you or your family were exposed to a different TYPE of black person, perhaps your perceptions of blacks would change.

This doesn't mean that you would want to date or marry a black woman, though. That's FINE because there's a reason why black women have a relatively low rate of intermarriage. ;)

My kick into reality tells me that my white wife's (of 9 years) family didn't want her dating or marrying me, to the point where they threatened to cut her off if she did - she called their bluff, because we love each other and we thought that we could make it work. My kick into reality tells me that my family thought I was crazy for dating a white girl, until they met her and fell in love with her like I did. My kick into reality came when my mother sat me down and told me that she'd rather had me dating a black girl, but, "If I loved her, she would too."

That's reality:)

I mock him because he started this thread and then came back and said that he would be ashamed - ashamed of what? falling in love with someone? if he, or anyone else is that insecure about who he is and how he feels about someone, then they shouldn't be bringing them home, much less dating them. I have no problem with you, mac, or anyone else's personal preference about who you date - when you bring shame into it, however, it says to ME that you don't feel that they are worthy of equality in YOUR eyes.

Lastly, mac, if you fell in love with a woman of another race (I know that's not your preference, but hear me out) and you had to quash that becuase of what your family thought, then you weren't in love to begin with and you have no idea what it really means.

Actually, "reality" is that what you posted is YOUR reality. ;)

This is all about social construction. We create this stuff and give it meaning and importance. What makes you tick doesn't have to make others tick.

I agree with the rest of your post although black men and starang21 have always been and always will be more than enough for me. :)

You are correct - I said that my reality was just that - my kick into reality.

This is why I love your posts - you are always right on the pulse of this board.

Keep Smiling

As long as everyone knows that "reality" will always be subjective.

Thanks. Yeah, my post was a little off when I came back to read it. I posted during the middle of class....thoughts were kind of all over the place. I included the prejudice/dislike part simply because I know how some people think on here....and I really didn't feel like having my family called racist/prejudice or some other name because of how they felt about relationships/marriage. Just thought I would add that they were neither of the two at all.

PreciousJeni - I'm sorry that the fact that I was raised thinking that marrying within your own race is proper and respectable disgusts you. There are many things that disgust me.......that are far worse than this.

The problem is that you're suggesting that not marrying within the "race" is improper and not respectable which, of course, is ridiculous and offensive. But, hey, at least you're sticking by your own convictions.

I'm glad you can take around sentences and skew them to make it sound highly negative.

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm not commenting on the grand scheme of things. I could care less who people choose to marry no matter the skin color. I am absolutely not going to judge them, no matter who they are.

I am talking about the wishes of my family considering things such as where we live, where I will more than likely live, our social setting, etc. I don't see how anyone would find that "ridiculous and offensive." Its a personal choice. Who are you to judge?