:D

- As for the OP, I agree with what has already been said. You posted a question and were given honest answers. What's the further discussion/debate about? I understand that u want to further explore the topic, but ultimately you can't be right for everybody. A good number of people have said that you sound like a great catch. You should focus your energy on finding the girls that feel this same way in your everyday life. Its a waste of your time to go over why others who aren't interested in you feel the way that they do. There will always be someone who isn't feeling you, and its their right to feel this way...just 'cause.

Note that I was also laughing because your post read like a justification for your own decisions . . . just saying.

Seriously, I took the OP's posts as consistently 'defending' his own status, even when he wasn't 'under fire' - from that regard, I can see where people may get to the word 'preachy,' know what I mean? Past that, I think Marie is right - some will be OK with it, many will not. The OP said it himself: sex is important to some people, and it's universally considered a key factor in relationship viability (again, from an academic standpoint) - for that reason, I think you're going to have to actively seek out those you're looking for.

That's good, though - it's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase.

I think the problem is that this is such a personal issue, and when people put in their 2 cents either direction, it can come off as preachy, or easily rub someone the wrong way. People on one side automatically assume that those who are "clean cut" are preaching to them to be "clean cut" also, and that can lead them to defend themselves to the point that the person who is "clean cut" feels they are being preached to about why their choices are wrong.

I understand that. I don't drink and feel no need to defend that. I think drugs are dumb and feel no need to defend that.

I'm going to come right out on the sex thing.

I was a "wait til marriage" girl and it turned into a "wait for the right person" thing. Well I found him. And Idon't think there's anything wrong with that either.

I think both sides assume that the other is preaching.. what Alphafrog said...

I don't think any of us were preaching to the OP. He asked a question and we answered, then he asked us more questions and we answered those. The "preaching" part came up as a reason some of us would be apprehensive to get involved with a person with the qualities he mentioned.

I'm not just talking about in this thread, though it does apply here too. Sounds like you're preaching that a 21 year old male should be having sex and drinking... or there's something wrong with him.

That's as stupid as me saying that a 21 year old male who's having sex and drinking has something wrong with him.

Non-drinkers get preached to frequently... and I've never been one to preach to my friends about it.

No, that's not what we were doing. He asked whether women would think he was lame and we gave an answer. I don't think anyone should have to say they would like something in a man just to make him feel better when he asked why we would/wouldn't date a guy with his characteristics. All of it relates to personal choices and none of it was preaching to him.

Like I said, I'm not just talking here. Several people took his comments as "preaching" when they really weren't.. just sharing his views.

That's the exact same thing you're saying to me now...

And you don't see how both sides could feel preached to?

Honestly... he asked for it literally(I don't mean that in a fighting, negative way). He asked for opinions. We gave them. He then asked questions of WHY, opening himself up to what you're calling "preaching" from our side.

I see your point I just don't think that was happening here.

The thing is, you aren't in charge of interpreting his statements for the rest of us. If anything he posted came off as "preaching" to anybody else, I don't see how that's your concern.

It's abundantly clear that you agree with what he's saying and you feel that anybody who considers what he's said to be "preaching" is attacking you personally. Nobody is attacking you or your beliefs about sex and relationships, aiight?

No, I don't feel like that. Please don't interpret my statements :p

I'm simply saying that You thought he was preaching. And you don't seem to see how I could view things others say as preaching.

The thing is, you aren't the OP in this thread....so if you're personalizing things that aren't directed at you then there's really nothing anyone can do about it.

Oy.
I'm not personalizing things not directed at me

I
am
simply
stating
that
both
sides
of
this
dicussion
can
feel
preached
at

Here you said something more than "both sides of this discussion can feel preached at" (that's kind of a "duh" statement, isn't it?) -- you said he was not preaching. If "both sides can feel preached at," your determination that the OP was not "preaching" isn't relevant to those who thought he was, is it?