To be exact the Bible says "...provoke not your children." In dealing with my father, I realized that is what he was doing. So I tried to talk to correct the issues, and he refused. So now I know, I made the attempt to do the right thing. He chose not to follow suite. I continue to pray for him and for myself that I do not say or do anything that is wrong, but in the long run, I realized that he is dead weight to me and God cannot allow my cup to overflow with blessings, if my father is taking up the space.

AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!!! :cool:

We must remember that it takes no special abilities (mentally and emotionally) for two people to get together and hump.

So true. I see the results of this (the children and the subsequential dysfunctional families) everyday at my job.

You ain't neva lied...i have a cousin now waiting for the birth of her 4th child (can barely take care of the 3 boys she has now)....she should have stopped a long time ago. She is another one I just had to "let go and let God".

Hello Luv4Denzel,
Your mother, you and your family are in my prayers.
SC

this may sound weird...
 

can u send me a pm where that scripture is found? i deal with this alot and am feeling that this will be an issue revisiting me very soon. :(

Re: this may sound weird...
 

Bruh KAPPAtivating alluded to it. It is Ephesians 6:1-4.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth." You fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There are others and I will try to find them as they come...

I'm secretly in love with my best friend and I know I shouldn't be because we are like brother and sister. He has made it clear that he does not have feelings for me and he has a girlfriend. So why can't I shake these feelings??:(

It's probably because once you have feelings for someone, it's really hard to turn them off, regardless of whether or not they reciprocate those feelings. Also, I mean he's still in your life doing the things and being the person that he was to make you fall in love. Think of it like a shopping addict trying to beat their addiction while living next door to a mall. It won't work! Good luck with that though. I've been in your shoes and it was a long road to "recovery" but I got there.

Is it because the things that are "off" limits to us are the most appealing?

^^^Hmm good point. Not sure. Thanks for the advice lovehaiku84

G-Ma issue
 

Bajan_Delta,
Trust that are a lot of people in your situation. I also have a very strained relationship w/ my G-ma. My G-ma is pushing 90 and just doesn't know when to not speak. She has been that way all her life. She is still 'colorstruck' and told me that when I married my husband that she was happy that I had dumped the 'ape' I was dating before( My previous suitor was very dark complected).
During the time when my mom was sick she would say stupid stuff like... my mom was faking and there was nothing really wrong w/ her or that the doctors were lying. When my mother passed...she was more concerned w/ the music they were playing at her wake than the fact that her FIRST DAUGHTER just died. And then being that I was the only one struggling to handle her affairs....when I had to call her to get her info for the SSN Admin. She told me that I was trying to steal her money and identity. After that I have been through w/ her ever since. I know that it looks bad.... but I can't bring myself to even call her.
Just like I would tell my Mom when her own mother would hurt her feeling w/ that crap....Let negative people suffer on their own. Surround yourself w/ positive things and you'll have positive results.

Isn't brown sugar the one where she said "why doesn't my heart do what my brain tells it to do?" Or something to that effect (saw your post in another thread). That's just how it is sometimes. Sometimes separation is good, you won't be around that person as much and it gives you time to think about the situation.

my most recent confession:

i, too am secretly in love (wow, thats heavy, ok, really like) with this guy i work with (known him for about 2 years). he makes me laugh, which i love. as the saying goes, "make a girl laugh and you can make her do anything." i guess this is true, cause i've fallen head over heels for him (don't worry, i havent become totally spineless for him--i'm still me). i think he may be into me, there's been a lot of flirtation and innuendo lately. then again, you never know with men...

i'm really apprehensive about making a move. i've never had a man reciprocate romantic feelings towards me and i don't know how to handle it. and most of this stems from the lack of self-esteem i formerly suffered from (it's gotten a lot better!), but in the realm of relationships, i still feel like i don't deserve him or any great guy.