luckily- you girls tried to help her and talk to her...
a friend of mine at school went through her pledge program and knew from the first day that it wasn't for her. However, that particular sorority is notorious for really pressuring girls to stay in- using awful tactics such as spreading rumours, following them, and making their lives a living hell. i've seen it in action- i know for a fact- as awful as it is.

so... my friend had to pay 800 dollars- go through pledging (which was hell) and on the night she got in... she handed in her deactivation letter. She was forced to change schools b/c she would never be left alone if she stayed. In this case, my friend did deactivate but she felt she had no choice. she had to get through the process and then leave...

even if she didn't have a gun to her head... i still saw what this did to her. she knew it was hazing but when the sisters were even following her roommate around- who was pledging my sorority- we knew there was something seriously wrong.

i guess i'm just saying that sometimes there are exceptions...

I'm not necessarily worried about it....it just sucks for them. I have had the most amazing experience in Alpha Phi and I know there are women, especially on here who have had the same experience. You only get ONE CHANCE (unless you go to a Local) to be in a sorority and it sucks that some can't have the same experience I did....that's why it makes me sad.

Correction- you only get one chance to be INITIATED an NPC sorority. That is what your pledge period is for, to figure out if it's right for you. Or else why would we even bother with a pledge period, we could just initiate them on bid night?

A new member has at least 6 weeks, many times longer, to figure out what's right for her. If a group isn't, she can depledge and re rush in a year, or pursue AI later on in her adult life.

THEN SHE SHOULD HAVE QUIT.

Honestly, if ANYONE is harassing or stalking you, you need to report it to a college authority. There was a religious group on our campus who did this to members who wanted out - two of the girls affected spoke up and the group ended up being kicked off campus. If everyone just sits and takes it, it will keep happening.

I don't get why this thread is still alive.

she has not posted since the beginning. There really is NO choice for her. Maybe it sucks but that is life. College is about much MORE than SORORITY LIFE. Yes it is fun, but it is not the only way to survive college. If you have to have a sorority to validate yourself, some internal soul searching needs to take place. You can be in a sorority and still not feel included. Paying dues does not give you friends.

I don't even want to say what I think of someone who would transfer or change ID to get into a sorority.

Can we please just let this thing die a nice quick death?

Honestly from what I hear from other GC'ers at a lot of other schools, particularly where Greek life is the big major scene, it sounds like you only get one real chance to pledge also. You constantly hear about how many chapters are at total and don't COB and how its much more difficult to get a bid when a pnm isn't a freshman. Plus are all chapters really open to the idea of giving a bid to a woman who they either cut or were cut by in the past? I would think a lot of girls who get initiated and deactivate quickly may be in an environment like this where they think if it doesn't work out they won't have another chance. We all say being in a sorority isn't the biggest deal in the world but it seems to be a very big deal to many, if not most, of us on GC.

And while I agree with the comments about being 18 and old enough to take responsibility for our actions can you really say that is the policy of NPC? A lot of NPC's and individual sororities' policies are based on this not really being true in their opinions. There is another active thread up which points out the differences in the rules imposed on NIC vs. NPC glo's.

I'm sure that's true to a point. I can't think of what choice I would have made if I'd been in that environment as a pre-freshman, knowing no one and not even having taken a college class. This is why I am so in favor of deferred rush. You can get to know sorority women as people, not in the crazy rush atmosphere.

But then again, if it's someplace that is that stringent, the original poster's argument would be moot anyway because no one else would give her a bid. It's up to you to decide whether to be in a sorority you are lukewarm about or not be in one at all. And if you stay in a sorority that's hazing the crap out of you, that's your fault, no matter what your school is like.