Lets Keep It Real
 

Ladies,

Don't get your panties twisted because of the post. We have all seen and received e-mails that albeit offers humor on life, relationship and so on. No one is saying that this is scientific data. This is just the opinion of one person and others, many male, seemingly agree with all, some are in part with the list. I'm sure the men on GC are not about to say the list applies to every black woman. I say take it for what it's worth - humor, entertainment and conversation.

Re: Lets Keep It Real
 

Look Professor...you reached the GC "G" post club!! 1000 posts!!

Don't ask me why I happened to notice that! :)

thanks - actually, john reset my login so i've actually posted more than that. nonetheless, its always good to be noticed - again, thank you!!!!

I must admit that seeing a black guy with a white woman use to bug the hell out of me...I use to say to myself ...now what did he find in her that he couldnt find in a black woman. I think... i thought that way because i had an us against them mentality...To see an allie with the ememy burned real bad....and words like trator and sellout would pop out of my mouth.

I think most men dont understand that historically black women have gotten the raw end of the stick countless times...being taken out of a culture where we were respected and cheried and brought to a country where we were treated worst than animals...were we where demeaned..and where we were torn from our children and husbands ...where our bodies were no longer ours but that of the Master...

We had to learn to survive all that... we had to learn how to be strong and how to survive. Now i have spoken to some brothers who say well black women are too independent..or they are too controlling...or they dont know when to let a man be a man, so you cant blame a brother for going to a white woman as they seem to be more compromising and much more willing to let a man be a man..

The fact is that if any black man out there truly see my independence as a black women to be so threatning that he seeks to date a white woman (whom is often perceived as being more complilant to his needs) then fell free to have an interracial relationship...I dont want a man in my life that see my strenght as his weakness. What you should do is appreciate that independence(and when i say independence i dont mean...ohh i am so independent i dont need no man ) I mean my ability to go against all the obstcle that have been placed in front of me and overcoming them all.

Why cant u just see that quality and appreciate that i just dont want a man to see what i can get...but that i want to get my own so that i can bring something to my relationship and unite with my man as one strong force to be reckon with.

blutifulRho, I see what you're saying. However sometimes the "independence" meter is on way too high. Now don't get me wrong, I love my Black women, but just keepin' it real.

I think there are three defining characteristics of a person in the US: race, money and family. Our race (Black) impacts the money we make, so that leaves us with family. I'm not against interracial unions, but I just don't buy the 'Black women are too independent so I can't be with them' attitude. If we are 'too independent', then I think it is a result of having to do alot on our own. It is survive or die, and I am not ready to go yet.

The issue is just too complicated. It's not only what the person dating outsife of their race thinks of their people, it's also about how society perceives the group.

Society thinks that black women are not beautiful. Our features, our bodies are constantly devalued and belittled. For centuries black women were only of use to mainstream society in the dark (see Strom Thurmond's black daughter for prime example #1). Black men on the other hand are desirable- not for particularly good or noble reasons, but because of the myth of the black buck.

The mainstream attitudes have an affect on US a lot of times- we start believing that our features make us less beautiful than others. We live in a society where race doesn't matter as much as class- a powerful man is attractive to many women regardless of race. The minute a black man becomes succesful a white girlfriend or wife is a sign of his rise in status. He's passed beyond US to someone others will think of as 'truly' beautiful. The reverse just doesn't occur nearly as often- rich black women associate with rich white men who want rich white women (they want their trophy wives too). I am not stating this as an absolute (I mean for every three or four Quincy Jones' you have a Denzel and for every Diana Ross you have an Angela Basset) but that is the trend.

So even when brothers find a white woman and LOVE their woman it becomes suspect because of the history and the self-hatred that so many black men AND women hold.

I try not to personalize it. I date whoever I find something in common with across the board, be they black, white or asian. I don't have a hard time because I don't restrict myself- I'll find love wherever I find it. If I see a black man in an interracial relationship I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he feels the same.

Even when I KNOW HE DOESN'T I don't care. Everyone knows black people who don't associate with other blacks (I had a long conversation with one girl where I had to tell her we weren't going to make her into a mindless clone or reject her for not being "black" enough- we all went through the same issues) and honestly, would YOU want to date them? Are YOU interested in that person? Even if they're rich and well educated and look like Taye Diggs? Of course not because they have ISSUES! Dating a self-hater will eventually bite you in the ass, regardless of how good he looks to your Mama and your friends. As far as I see it, it isn't my business, I am not interested in someone who isn't interested in me and if they think they have held the self-hatred at bay then I can only wish them the best of luck, as they will need it.