As an active in a non-SEC school, recs meant absolutely nothing to me. Sure, we knew if a girl had a rec, but I cared more about if that PNM was going to fit in with our chapter than if they had a rec. A rec doesn't tell me anything about that girl's personality, her likes/dislikes/desires in a chapter, or what she stands for as a person. Those are things that mattered most to me as an active, and I felt I could only find out through conversation, not on a piece of paper.

That is what I'm wondering -- how does (potentially) the same information that PNMs can submit themselves carry more weight when submitted on a rec form? (acknowledging that actual personal recommendations carry weight)

Honestly, if a PNM claims on their resume to be the 9th grade 1st runner-up to Miss Sweet Potato, I don't research and verify that detail.

FTR, I'm questioning (and sometimes laughing at) myself as much as anyone -- I'm in the tradition. I only submit hard copies, for instance, and I prefer hard copies of the resume packet. Why? Because I've always done things that way. ;)

Probably because

I wonder if any of the NPCs that require a rec to be pledged (whether it's a SEC-type recruitment or a chapter where no one has recs prior to rush and an alum writes them after the fact) have ever proposed getting rid of them as a necessity. I realize that's way too nosy of a question. :)

I do see the utility in actives knowing information about the girls coming through -- activities, interests, grades, etc (this was probably easier back in the bad ol' days when the recruitment numbers were lower and the recs far fewer). This helps chapters rush more effectively, and the objective info (like grades and activities) can help make decisions between invites and necessary releases (especially in huge recruitments where there are a lot of girls and little time to chat).

But I'm wondering -- is the info the actives are interested in the objective info instead of the box Mildred A. Lum checked on *how long have you known the PNM,* or *has good moral character,* for instance?

If so, could the same be accomplished via the info submitted by PNMs during online recruitment registration?

Not to be peppering you with questions -- just sort of devil's advocating our status quo.

Personally, I don't think the content of the recommendation means anything unless it contains information not otherwise made apparent in the application of the PNM. On the contrary, I think the recommendation's value is in the weight of the fact that it is an alumna recommendation. Each sorority will value that differently in the scheme of their private membership selection process.

I was thinking about that -- and I wondered -- how do those alumnae who believe recs are absolutely necessary feel about having lifelong sisters who slipped into the sisterhood without one?

Just food for thought.

Many sororities require recs in order to be initiated. I know of several campuses where recs are not the norm and where chapter advisers sign off on the new members. So technically, everyone who is initiated in those sororities with that requirement doesn't slip in... their recs come after recruitment but prior to initiation.

Well, not even that, necessarily. A few summers ago (about 6 weeks prior to recruitment at Bama) some girls from this area were arrested on a fairly minor charge, and taken to a nearby county jail. I’m not sure that this would have become common knowledge, except that their bedraggled and tearful mug shots were posted on the county jail’s website for 30 days, along with every other thug who might actually be a menace to society. I felt kinda bad for them (and their parents). I understand that these girls were otherwise regarded as strong PNMs.

Imagine how fast this flew via phone to every kid their high school. And those kids' moms, and their mom’s friends, and alums . . .

And if this nightmare could possibly be any more awkward – it was – one of the girls had an older sister who was rush chair at one of the Bama chapters.

I’m sure there was a lot of pearl-clutching all around, but amazingly, in the end, all three girls pledged really strong chapters (with recs) – two pledged where the sis was rush chair.

I don’t really know how alums in general would know of existing criminal records other than in a case like this. Aren’t some charges expunged for minors anyway?

Now I really don't understand the point or utility of that.

I’ve been writing recs since I graduated in 1974. The last couple of years I’ve been lucky enough to be working with a chapter during recruitment.

I’ve seen crap recs and great recs, both in SEC and non-SEC schools, and from all over the country. Southern ladies can write garbage recs as well as anybody else; non-Southerners can write wonderful recs. Depends on the alumna and her training when she was a collegiate.

A great rec is where the alum knows the girl, has known the family forever and can tell you cute stories about her from Sunday’s church service.
A great rec is also where the alum doesn’t know the girl, maybe doesn’t know the family, but knows people who know them – through church, school, work, etc. A great rec verifies grades, verifies honors, tells you something about her personality, morals, background…good or bad! Say Sally PNM says she was Junior Miss for her county, and the alum says she was 2nd runner-up Junior Miss (which has happened once or twice). This says worlds about the PNM – aren’t you glad you found out before you pledged her?? Or the alum lets you know about major drama, the family filed for bankruptcy, a parent was found guilty of murder…doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. That stuff you aren’t going to find on a PNM’s application.

OTOH, a crap rec is where an alum just put in the same info the PNM did and signs. Tells us NOTHING about the girl…kind of like the rec where the alum meets the PNM for the firs time for a 20-minute coffee date. I hate those. It doesn’t help one bit. I'd just as soon have no rec!

I would not necessarily discount the girl with no rec. If they're interested, the chapters I’ve worked with do try to find out something about the girl.

As far as the entire chapter reading the rec, no, that doesn’t happen. Recs actually become more and more important toward the end of recruitment. A rec is a chance for an alum to say “go for it” or “warning.” It’s up to the chapter to make the final decision.

Busy work for the PNMs? I do hate that they’re told they have to get them. It shouldn’t be that way – it should be the chapter working with their alumnae to get them. Hard to get 2,000 of them without some help, though!

A few of you have bemoaned the fact that you wrote a rec or three, and the chapter didn’t pledge them.

Out of the 40 to 50 recs I write every year for girls from my hometown, maybe 3 or 4% pledge Delta Gamma. Plenty of years nobody pledges DG. That’s just statistics. You have to look at the long-term view. Out of 38 years, I have recommended 76 or so new Delta Gammas, and that’s not too bad! :D

In my day, there was still no dot matrix. Good typewriters were still used.

DaffyKD

But asking someone else what they have heard isn't really verification. And you could also be asking someone (even an alum) who doesn't like the PNM's mom, or whose daughter wasn't invited to the PNM's 16th birthday bash. Some moms (yes, even alums) can be a little less than objective where girls their daughter's age are concerned -- even a little vengeful.

It's hard to tell sometimes where the line between vouching for ends and meddling in begins.

Just food for thought -- when PNMs ask around similarly regarding the reputation of a chapter, they are thought to be soliciting tent talk.

.

A good reason to have two from two different alums of the same sorority.

If I contact one of my AP friends - women with whom I've worked for years in preparing recs - for information about a pnm you can take that information to the bank. All of the rec writers I know would NEVER write a negative rec unless they knew for sure there was a concrete reason why that pnm should not be bid. They might choose not to write a rec, but that is hardly meddling.
I am always surprised at the members who are unaware that a condition of bidding and/or membership is having a rec. Sometimes the active members aren't even aware of the fact that recs are required - they are handled by alumnae.
I think the solution is more education for alumnae (heck, actives, too) regarding recommendations and what they do and do not do. I don't expect the recs I write to do anything other than get really good pnms a foot in the door. I'm very proud of the Katy Alumnae Panhellenic's ability to help our pnms pledge. The vast majority of those I write don't go Gamma Phi, but the majority DO pledge.

Maybe I'm not worthy of understanding these Southern pearl clutching issues, but why would I care if someone's parent was found guilty of murder or something of that nature? That PNM may be estranged from that family member and likely has little to no connection to that individual at that point. It's not as if that PNM was the murderer! Perhaps that PNM wanted a new start away from those issues. What if the PNM had been a victim of domestic violence and the rec writer mentioned that?

In addition, how does the active know which to believe--the alum or the PNM? She likely does not know you from Sally Smith, and while you are a sister of her sorority, that doesn't necessarily mean that she trusts your information to be 100% accurate either.