Hope things work out today for all of the FSU girls.

And for the mom's and dad's, encourage your daughters to go to Preference as I know girls who were dropped by their favorite only to have a great experience at Pref and really click with the houses they go to. They are only obligated if they sign their Pref card, so they have nothing to lose by attending parties.

And the general explanation of the bid lists are pretty accurate. If a woman receives an invitation to Pref she is definitely on that chapter's bid list and that is a real indication that the chapter would accept her as a new member. With the bid list though it is just a matter of where the PNM falls along the list. And the way recruitment is organized, Greek Life does their best to match a PNM with her preferred chapter. However, that does not guarantee a first preference match.

I knew many girls who received their second (or third) choices and had a GREAT greek experience - chapter leaders, campus leaders, you name it things can all work out. And my advice to girls is that you can be happy wherever you make your mind up to be happy.

Thanks for sharing your stories - we will be thinking happy and positive thoughts for all of you!!

Try to encourage her to not drop
 

I would do everything in your power to encourage her to not drop. I know it is hard. People are judging your child. How can it not be emotional? But you have to understand at this point everyone that is going back is liked. It is now a numbers game. Just like a favorite emerged yesterday, who is to say another favorite can't shine today? SHE CANNON'T TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME. Three weeks from now when she meets some awesome girls from "unliked" sorority ABC she might end up desiring to be part of a sisterhood she was already welcomed in. She has to try her darnedest to seperate the "top house" tent talk from her goal, which (and this in my opinion based on the fact that she is rushing as I type) is to join an amazing sisterhood.

She will only have this one chance for the next year. Whether she drops now, or see it through bid day, that does not change. So where is the harm in her attending prefs at even her bottom choices if that means an opportunity to have a connection made that has not been made yet. If she doesn't go, the possibility is zero. In my opinion, dropping after this round, in any recruitment (SEC, Big 10 or whatever) is the biggest mistake PNMs make. Dropping after round 1 because sorority life is not for you...I get. She has had about 65 minutes with these girls. She has heard years of rumors and "tent talk". She needs to seperate her ears from her heart and give any of the wonderful women that are welcoming her to their home a shot. She should establish a relationship durning a new member period before considering dismissing a group on what now is only speculation

This is very good advice and information. Especially about attending the parties even if they are disappointed with their invitations. The PNM's really need to keep an open mind.

Well said!!! This is an emotional week for EVERYONE and it can be hard to see clearly through all of the long days, walking, talking, etc. And you are totally right about the really short amount of time spent during this week with girls and when you take the time to really give things a try you can be amazed at the wonderful world of sisterhood, fun, and having that home away from home.

Just posted my "Places I would like to travel" recruitment story. I think doing this has been therapeutic because I knew things would get rough at this point. I can only say that I hope the girls keep their heads up today and, no matter what, look for the good things in this experience!

Waiting to hear from my Pledge Sister how her daughter's experience went. Fingers crossed!

Well, I talked her into going to the parties...........and I hope something good emerges from it. I think she is at the end of her rope and its ripping my heart out because I know if she follows thru she will be happy. Im just wondering if in fact she only likes one should she suicide. What are the ramifications of that? Anyone know?

What are the ramifications? If she suicides and doesn't get it, she's not going to be in a sorority (on Bid Day 2012, anyway). If she chooses to list her other options, she might get her 1st, 2nd or 3rd choice... and there are many who can tell you it can still work out for the best.

Reading your comments during the week, it looks like she's warmed up to more groups than she initially liked. That can still happen.

Legacies are usually on chapter's first bid list, but that is not always the case. This can vary.

This is correct. The first list is in Alpha order and the second is ranked.

The ramifications are extensive. She has a much greater chance of walking to her room empty handed. That means zero choice. So she goes to three pref parties and ranks 1-2-3. Her best case she opens her envelope to reveal her #1 choice. She might also open her envelope and have choice 2 or 3. If she suicides, she very well may have no envelope at all, and she could be okay with that. But she needs to get on these boards and read the "I didn't get my first choice" threads. They are eye openers. There are also MANY women who get their first choice and their end result is unhappiness because they bid a reputation and not a reality.

What ever she does (and only she can make the decision that is right for her) she need to tread carefully and not come across as a brat. Many girls that suicide and don't have a positive result will start the "Greek's suck" rant and many that stick it out and get choice 2-3 end up having a "I had to settle" breakdown...publicly...in front of others who's house was their number 1 choice. If she thinks through the scenarios, she needs to be able to live with what she chooses. She can't have regrets and she won't be given a second chance.

By placing a suicide bid, she is either in or out. She can't be out then freak and say well 2 or 3 is better than none. At that point it is too late and not a soul will feel sorry for her. If she can walk away empty handed and not have an iota of regret, then have her go for it. If she ranks out and gets choice 2 or 3, she has a more relaxed 6-8 weeks to make that choice, in my opinion, a much wiser decision.

She decided to rank them and then give it a shot for a couple of weeks to see how it goes. Right now she feels as though she is settling but will give it a try. I hope in the weeks to come she will feel happy that she decided to try. I cannot imagine that she will not be happy with the new 200 friends that she has. Its tough but its a big school and its lonely when you only know a few people. Maybe she will feel differently when she wakes up tomorrow. I dont know much about any of these houses, and from what I heard there are 16 great ones at FSU so how bad could it be.

That is great! You never know until you try. I know I could have been happy with either of my preferences and I have always been so happy I went Greek. Any of those chapters on her pref card will welcome her with open arms tomorrow!!!

Can't wait to hear where these PNMs end up!

I feel as if I'm going to start biting my nails on this one!

Thought I would let you know that Shannon faithfully attended all of her parties, including the preference round, and did her best to keep an open mind to the end, but decided not to turn in a signed bid card.