Have you been listening to my conversations with Debbie? You are preaching to the choir.

I don't think the lack of house was an issue until the very end. I think the final rejection after a week of rejections hurt the most. Every previous conversation was "it's going to be beautiful" when talking about the new AOII house. I told her a new house is new - new memories, new furniture, nobody's cooties. I told Debbie a new house is pretty and shiny but it's just a building. It's the people that matter and she's told me from Day 1 she likes the people. Like I said to her dad, too much emotion, too much drama.

Neither she nor I are naive and think that it won't be challenging which is why I think she's asking questions this week. What I'm trying to impress upon her is that one door closes and another opens. There's that platitude thing again. The opportunities she may have at AOII, if she's open minded and involved, may be like you said opportunities she wouldn't get at other chapters until her later years. I think she's getting the bigger picture here. College is such an exciting time but it's also laying the steps for the foundation of her future. While it may have been a bumpy start I think she's realizing that she's very fortunate and her life isn't too shabby.

Luckily my Debbie is a quick learner and adjuster. She's ok going outside her comfort zone. She texted me a few minutes ago and said she met an AOII who said how excited they were to have her. Debbie said "that was so sweet <3". I think she's realizing open mind + open heart = possibility of good things.

Thank you, irishpipes, for sharing.

Thanks for sharing Debbie's story. I hope that next year at this time, you come back and give us a "bump" to let us know how she is faring. I suspect that she will be knee deep in activities, surrounded by sisters she can't imagine living without and lots of great memories. Encourage her to spend as much time as possible with her new sisters.

Okla State sororities all have a lot to offer. There were 12 sororities on campus when I was there, but sadly, Delta Zeta and Alpha Xi Delta closed after I graduated. I am so glad that Phi Mu and Alpha Omicron Pi have established chapters in Stillwater. The chapter houses and living in are important at OSU--not going to lie, but AOPi will have a gorgeous house soon. It takes special girls to colonize a new chapter--they are carefully chosen and tend to be people who can hit the ground running so I imagine the actives are amazing girls. New chapters get a lot of national support as well, so she is in very good hands.

I'm sorry she had some bumps in the road, but so glad that she has the opportunity to experience a great Greek system. GO POKES!!

I think I love you...thanks so much for a fun, realistic, reenactment of Debbie's rush. It is definitely one for the archives of Recruitment Stories.

Thank you for your insight and the background info. I'll share with Debbie as I can. I definitely will come back and share her experiences. I honestly, with all my dark side mom love, feel that she's going to be ok. Like I always tell her I have her best interests at heart. I know sometimes she thinks my goal in life is to ruin hers, but not so.

Debbie will be ok and I thank you all for your support and encouragement. You guys have all been through this, seen the good and bad. Debbie's little ride will make her stronger. I have to admit though with Debbie being so busy I haven't really had a chance to share my knowledge and insight with her. She's realizing a lot of these "things" this week on her on which is all part of growing up. I'm proud but damn I miss Debbie.

Congratulations to Debbie on AOII! I am blessed to have some amazing AOIIs as friends, including one of my former graduate students; I'm having lunch with another AOII and an AXiD on Saturday. I have to say this: seriously, they have a gorgeous badge with infinite variations that I envy (just ask AOIIAngel). I was fortunate to attend an open event at their convention in Tucson in 2011 and I was IMPRESSED with all the women (alumnae and collegiate) that I met. May Debbie find lifelong connections in the sisterhood.

Your story was gripping, and not only well-written, but engaging and honest. It's going into my "GC reference library" for the future PNMs and mothers who come here.

Thanks for sharing your story!

As you said, the rejection can hurt way more than the actual place where she ended up.

What a great story. Love the idea of the recruitment guides taking away cell phones (then again I'm not a Mom of one of the women going through recruitment).

I love that this mom showed that a parent can be interested and caring without being smothering. In the end, she trusted that her daughter would use the tools she had been taught by her parents to get through the week, and whatever came next. Great combination of moral support, age-appropriate parental guidance, and restraint.

Further proof Debbie is ok: received a request for money for possible dress shopping. Oh, the resiliency of youth.

Just goes to show you how tough it is to recruit when you don't have everything the other chapters do. Not having a physical plant when everyone else does puts you at a disadvantage. My hat is off to my sisters at OSU for pulling off such a successful recruitment anyway. Once they begin to build real relationships without the constant competition from other chapters like you have during recruitment, the misgivings and hurt feelings should melt away and leave her with a group of women she liked from the beginning.

I'm a big Lilly Pulitzer fan. Maybe send her a little gift from the AOII collection to remind her that she's in a very strong chapter nationally and is going to be a part of something wonderful at OSU! The AOII print is ADORABLE! Who doesn't love pandas?!

I LOL'd near the end because in Miami it's a very fun time time to go to South Beach (for the beach anyway). AOII is an AMAZING organization. Good job mom for navigating the recruitment waters.

Great thread that will no doubt be one of those stories bumped year after year. Thank you for such an excellent story, and congrats to Debbie on joining AOII.

Will you let us know which chapters were which?

Lovethesand,

Like you, I knew nothing about sororities when my daughter went through recruitment. I've learned almost everything on here and through a few (very few) sorority women I knew who were all very helpful to me.

My daughter went through two recruitments (one difficult and one pretty smooth), so I related totally to your experience.

I LOVED the story and thank you so much for sharing it!