That's a really weird personal policy for them to have and if you end up joining a group, I think you'll later appreciate just how strange it is.

Good luck! I hope you have a good experience.

Amen!

Thank you again to ALL of the Ladies who responded. Your feedback has been extremely helpful!

Yes, as close as we are: Their policy has caused some drama within my family and their own.
One of the cousins had a little sister who went through recruitment a few years back at a school where Recs were required, and was her Alma Mater. She refused to write her a Rec, and that entire incident opened a can of worms that hasn't been closed to this day.

From what I understand, and correct me if I am wrong, that writing someone a Rec means that you really and truly believe that Suzie Potential would be a good fit for XYZ and that you are putting your endorsement on the line for them. They aren't written lightly. While the little sister ended up in a fantastic GLO that she loves.....the enmity from the little sister to her older sister has lasted on. It shouldn't be like that, that much I can tell.
:-(

Well, they could always write a no-rec instead of a glowing rec. Or an info-only rec.

The whole thing strikes me as strange. If recs aren't necessary on your campus, while it's usually good to get them, it could hurt you as well. I'd make really sure that the chapters know what a rec is and have seen them before prior to acquiring recs.

My campus wasn't typical, but "non-traditional student + older + recs = super weird and desperate" there.

From our side of it, a member who refuses to do a rec for her relative - or get someone else in the GLO to do it - negatively impacts that relative as we are sitting here wondering why great Aunt Susie wouldn't and what she knows that we should know about this PNM. It will just about immediately get the PNM dropped from that group. I can understand that they don't want a group to be overly influenced by the relative's rec but it actually works more strongly in the opposite direction.

I mean, I write recs periodically for Middle School students who help out with the fundraisers for Personal Philanthropic activities I'm involved with.

One young woman requested a rec for a scholarship, but she always had a nasty attitude while participating and would say things that you wouldn't want anyone to say. I did write a letter (maybe what you would call an "Info Rec") to the scholarship committee, and simply stated her time of service, what she assisted with and how to reach me.

Recs in sorority land are different than recommendations outside of sorority land.

Amen and amen!

Got it.

I apologize if the last response sounded abruptof snippy in any way...I was stepping on to a bus and was in a hurry.

:-(

If this asks too much, please don't be offended, but if a PNM didn't herself list the family connection on her recruitment registration/information sheet, would you all necessarily know?

Certainly, if your group has a really strong hometown system in this pnm's town and other alumnae from the town already knew about the family connection and alerted you to it, you'd wonder, but in that case the hometown folks might already know about either PNM's issues or alumna wackiness. They could possible be aware that great Aunt Susie quit writing recs completely after the Great Second Round Cut Massacre of '82.

I guess since I live in the relatively anonymous Atlanta suburbs where people don't tend to have extended multi-generational friendships or deeply layered social connections, it's harder for me to understand how likely it would be that a chapter, especially one at a campus kind of casual about recs could possible put it together themselves without the PNM actually listing Great Aunt Susie on her form.

It would depend. Some places yes, and some no. If one is accustomed to scanning the local alum list for people to write recs like I am, then yes, you'd notice Susie's daughter. Otherwise, maybe not.