Quote:
Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963
(Post 2099423)
LOL damn, you don't have to get all mad about it. I feel you, but a lot of people think they know the person, sometimes all the way up to 25 years of marriage, and still find something out they didn't know before. There have been folks who have been married for years, and still divorced, mainly because someone was cheating. One of my frat brothers parents got a divorce when he was in college. They had been married for over 20 years. Just because you make it to the altar and you think you know a dude, doesn't mean he's going to hang around. In fact you might decide to leave. Who knows? Just sayin'.
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Cen1aur, I was not mad at you, at all. Believe me, if I didn't like you for whatever reason, I wouldn't even chat with you or respond to you. I was just posting what I believe and what I feel strongly about, that's all I was doing.
In response to your post, I don't know your fraternity brother's parents, so I don't know what kind of marriage they had. Also, know that you can never take your relationships for granted. Relationships have to be maintained just like the rest of your life. Too much, too little, too late, is usually the story in too many relationships where couples chose to coast, assuming no news was good news. No news usually means your mate has just found a way to compensate for whatever need you (in general) are not meeting. Should she/he reach a point that the other becomes more satisfying, guess what? -you will be replaced. I'm not justifying women or men seeking fulfillment outside of their marriages, it's just that relationships that are not diligently maintained can crumble.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963
(Post 2099423)
Then you mentioned family. Of course he's going to have a good rep with in his family, I would think. When I meet a girl who I eventually want to marry, I'm going to marry her, not her family.
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Yes, I did mention family, and no he may not have a good reputation with his family. Or better yet, his family may not be all together themselves. It's just that for me, where a man comes from has a lot to do with how he will function in relationships. I just think it's important to decide if you like what you see. I want to see how he relates to his parents, his siblings, and others with whom he has significant relationships. Is there a positive connection? All negative links will affect your interaction with this person. You may not be marrying the family, but you will be inheriting their issues. -the negative energy will be transferred to you. In other words, the issues he has with his mother will become issues he has with me. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't get involved with some guy who comes from a dysfunctional family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963
(Post 2099423)
No offense, but you're too complicated, LOL
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No offense taken.:) I just think it's important to have standards because these standards affect your compatibility and your ability to sustain a long-term relationship. It's just that in order for your relationship to be secure, I just think it's important to operate from the same platform. Therefore, there should be some nonnegotiables about anyone you consider connecting to.
And again, no I wasn't mad at you. Okay? :)