Originally Posted by Titchou (Post 2082501)

That may be the case in some places but, I assure you, it's not within my circles!

Originally Posted by chioalum (Post 2082618)

My daughter's friend recently completed recruitment at Bama. She became very ill prior to graduation, and as of mid June hadn't secured any recommendations. I was able through my contacts, to secure her one recommendation to each house and to some two. She is an out of state student, she is an Alpha Phi legacy and she knew only one girl in a house at Bama. I tried to advise her and her mother on how competitive the recruitment process is at Bama. I honestly don't think either of them listened to a word I said. As her going away gift, we packed her a bag full of the sorority essentials needed during the process, we also added in some extras. Again, I discussed in detail how competitive this recruitment process is at Bama. As of late July her mother had not sent in a legacy form, nor secured her a recommendation to Alpha Phi. Neither the girl, nor her mother, ever thanked me or my contacts for assisting them with recommendations, this was kind of expected as they are kind of lacking in the manners department. I never heard from the mother, prior to her leaving, during the process or upon their return home. The daughter had a very rough recruitment, she only had four parties on 11 party day, and only 3 parties on 7 party day. She was dropped completely prior to preference round. I recevied a voice mail late last night from her mother blasting me for her daughter's results. I was quite shocked at what was said. I haven't returned the call as I have no idea what to say. Any suggestions from the experts?

Originally Posted by chioalum (Post 2082618)

My daughter's friend recently completed recruitment at Bama. She became very ill prior to graduation, and as of mid June hadn't secured any recommendations. I was able through my contacts, to secure her one recommendation to each house and to some two. She is an out of state student, she is an Alpha Phi legacy and she knew only one girl in a house at Bama. I tried to advise her and her mother on how competitive the recruitment process is at Bama. I honestly don't think either of them listened to a word I said. As her going away gift, we packed her a bag full of the sorority essentials needed during the process, we also added in some extras. Again, I discussed in detail how competitive this recruitment process is at Bama. As of late July her mother had not sent in a legacy form, nor secured her a recommendation to Alpha Phi. Neither the girl, nor her mother, ever thanked me or my contacts for assisting them with recommendations, this was kind of expected as they are kind of lacking in the manners department. I never heard from the mother, prior to her leaving, during the process or upon their return home. The daughter had a very rough recruitment, she only had four parties on 11 party day, and only 3 parties on 7 party day. She was dropped completely prior to preference round. I recevied a voice mail late last night from her mother blasting me for her daughter's results. I was quite shocked at what was said. I haven't returned the call as I have no idea what to say. Any suggestions from the experts?

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair (Post 2082627)

Personally, I would wait a few days before responding. There is nothing you can say that will make her feel better. I would let her rant and complain and try not to get defensive. (Although you have every right to be!) I would simply state, "I'm sorry it didn't work out." I hate to see mother's over-react in these cases because it sends the message to the daughter that she really messed up. The mother that says "It's their loss -- you'll thrive at something else." is the type of mom who boosts her daughter's self image.

Originally Posted by chioalum (Post 2082618)

My daughter's friend recently completed recruitment at Bama. She became very ill prior to graduation, and as of mid June hadn't secured any recommendations. I was able through my contacts, to secure her one recommendation to each house and to some two. She is an out of state student, she is an Alpha Phi legacy and she knew only one girl in a house at Bama. I tried to advise her and her mother on how competitive the recruitment process is at Bama. I honestly don't think either of them listened to a word I said. As her going away gift, we packed her a bag full of the sorority essentials needed during the process, we also added in some extras. Again, I discussed in detail how competitive this recruitment process is at Bama. As of late July her mother had not sent in a legacy form, nor secured her a recommendation to Alpha Phi. Neither the girl, nor her mother, ever thanked me or my contacts for assisting them with recommendations, this was kind of expected as they are kind of lacking in the manners department. I never heard from the mother, prior to her leaving, during the process or upon their return home. The daughter had a very rough recruitment, she only had four parties on 11 party day, and only 3 parties on 7 party day. She was dropped completely prior to preference round. I recevied a voice mail late last night from her mother blasting me for her daughter's results. I was quite shocked at what was said. I haven't returned the call as I have no idea what to say. Any suggestions from the experts?

Originally Posted by Zillini (Post 2083003)

I have a unique situation... = I haven't bothered to use the search function otherwise I would have found the 10+ threads that would have answered my question.