Ivy, your daughter is right. It is superficial and shallow, but as I've said here, it's what we're stuck with. And there are chapters that are fantastic that suck at the superficial and shallow. Really try to convince her to follow through. If she joins and still feels the same at initiation, drop then. But if she goes in, does the work, meets the girls and otherwise fully participates, her mind will be changed. I can almost guarantee it. It really does not help that this is so stressful, she's away from home for the first time, she's sleeping in a new bed, it's hot.... all of these things add up to nothing but frustration. I'm sorry about that.

Ivy Leaf - I hope it all turns out well in the end for your daughter. Most times, it really does. My daughter will probably go through this process next year, and it does worry me as a Mom. Hang in there. Your daughter has a great Mom who cares about her!

Ivy Leaf~
I agree with so much of what you are saying!!!! Mizzou needs to expand its greek system to accommodate more of these wonderful, highly qualified women. The fact that there are only 14 chapters and 1600+ PMs is very frustrating. When I went through recruitment at Mizzou waaaaay back in the 80s, there were 17 chapters and well under 1,000 PMs. Of course, RFM wasn't being used then and some chapters were much larger than others. I remember being nervous and excited during my own recruitment, but nothing like the level of stress that the PMs (or their mothers ;)) seem to be experiencing these days! I really hate to hear about girls dropping out of the process completely. I admire your daughter for sticking with it. I hope she ends up in a chapter she loves - it sounds like any group would be so lucky to get her!!!

I understand the number of PNMs must be overwhelming, but I don't really see how adding some more chapters will really change that. PNMs would still be competing with the same number of women. It's not as if the chapters at Mizzou currently "cap" the pledge classes at a certain number - quota is not determined until preference, basically, and it is set at a number that would allow every woman to be placed in a chapter. So really, the only difference a couple new chapters would make is that the pledge classes would be smaller - but that only becomes relevant after recruitment is over.

For the vast majority of women who withdraw from recruitment altogether, it's because they're pouty and emotional and their pride won't allow them to join a chapter they *think* is beneath them. Though it sounds like the campus could acommodate more chapters, it's not as if the PNMs don't already have many options. Some of them just choose to only accept a handful of them.

Mizzou Mom - how did her prefs go?

One of the great things about Mizzou is that the greek community is very close knit. I hope both girls have great outcomes tomorrow. Regardless of where they end up, there will be lots of opportunities to get to know others on campus.

This is a big year at Mizzou -- the centennial celebration of Homecoming! There should be lots of ways to get engaged in campus life.

Keeping my fingers crossed for both of them! Keep us posted tomorrow!

Pearl~

Both pref ceremonies were wonderful - very heartfelt and emotional. She says she can see herself in either chapter after today. She is still hoping for Candlelight, but knows that she would be happy in Chrysanthemum also. I'm just hoping she doesn't get the dreaded pi chi visit tomorrow morning.

One thing that was shocking was how some of the PMs were behaving as they waited outside for the ceremonies to start. My daughter said that the girl next to her was openly complaining about having to go back to Chrysanthemum and she didn't understand why she couldn't cut them. Something similar happened outside Candlelight, only it was a girl who was excited to go to Candlelight but was complaining about having to go back to Respousse (a chapter my daughter would have been sooooo grateful to go back to).

My daughter estimates that out of her original group of 80 girls, about a third have dropped out of recruitment. She tried to count everyone this morning when the pi chis were handing out invitations.

Oh, and some PMs were wearing shorts and tank tops to pref. :confused:

Mizzou Mom, my daughter is also rushing at Mizzou this week. I have a question, do the houses see the girls preference order before deciding whether to cut or keep them?

I don't think I am getting into membership selection - shoot me a pm if you think I am - but no, the sorority actives do not see the preference order.

Mizzou Mom - I'm so glad her prefs went well. I will say a prayer for her that she gets a bid tomorrow morning. I talked with the moms of the 4 girls going through from the high school where I work and 3 are still in (1 dropped this morning). They all had 2-3 parties and seemed to be happy to go to any of the houses. The Moms (3 were not greek) couldn't believe how intense and emotional the process is.

I'm shocked about the PNMs wearing shorts and a tank top - were they trying not to get bids?!

I think it is safe to say that NO, houses do not see what the girls pref before they vote. In most cases, the houses are voting while the pnms are back at the student union signing pref/bid cards (or whatever they are officially called!).

I can assure you if the sororities could get their hands on that info THEY WOULD. You would save yourself a lot of heartache on both sides if you could magically match your first list with the rushees first choices. They're on your list anyway, so moving girls around a few positions would be easy peasy. I remember being at more than one preference and trying to probe if we were first choice.

What time do bids go out?

I think noon or 12.30. Pi Chis will be making visits to the gals that did not match successfully by 9 am this morning. This is stressful for the mamas and the daughters!!!

Thinking about both you and MizzouMom this morning, and your sweet daughters.