Thanks. I appreciate the comments. I still think the search thread is useful.

For the most part, I found the recruitment stories on here really helpful when I was a PNM. Granted, some of them get rediculous and it's obvious that the person witing it is only looking for sympathy, but with most of them I really identified with the girl and reading about her recruitment helped me prepare. By the time I was going through, I had read about it many, many times, to the point that it felt like I had done it already -- for me, that was huge in helping me feel prepared and not panicked.
There's certainly a right way and a wrong way to do it. Identifying your school/the sororities/yourself is probably going to come back to bite you, no matter how positive your comments are. But honestly, if someone wants to share their story on here for someone to read in the future, I see nothing wrong with it.

When I was in sorority in the 80's I simply don't recall recruitment being as complex as it seems now. Maybe that is because in the information age, it is possible the influx of information and who knows who, etc, via Facebook pollutes the process. Because of what I perceive to be a different type of recruitment going on, I have personally found the recruitment threads helpful to know what I can expect my daughter to be going through. And that is not important because I want to live through her, but because when Moms that have very close relationships with their daugters, its nice to know what is going on when the daughters look to their mothers for guidance and support. Allthough my daughter has read many recruitment threads and we have discussed them extensively, (always stressing "open mind") I am not so sure she would sit down and write out her thoughts and feelings on a recruitment thread. And certainly as a parent I have no problem not posting a recruitment thread if it is damaging to the child. In my social circles, 99% of my friends are actively involved in our children's lives. Are we helicopters? I don't think so. I consider myself more of a cruise director. I make sure things are on schedule, but it's not my job to do the limbo or decided what each child choices to do.

I don't think rush is more complex than it was back then - just that the rules are being followed more stringently. In the 80s Greek life was huge and popular and there were more than enough PNMs to go around - at ALL schools. So no one was going to bitch if a group was paying more attention to a PNM than they should, or something of the like. Then in the 90s it swung the other way - Greek life was no longer the "in" thing to do and chapters started dropping off membership wise and closing left and right. This is when they really started cracking down on things like bid promising and pre-rush contact. The national groups realized some of the things that Chapter A did at UT were hurting Chapter B at LSU. Hypocritical? Of course. But that's basically what happened.

It also costs a lot more to run a national group today - in terms of services, housing, and risk management insurance.

So that's where some of the moms don't get it. Yes, I know you got away with it then. You can't now.

There was a mom on here who was from one of the smaller national groups and went to a small school and whose daughter went to Arizona or someplace like that. She couldn't understand why DD didn't get a bid. As different as her school and her daughter's school were, I don't know why on earth she assumed rush would be the same. That's the other kind of cluelessness.

I know that most parents, if they're told "hey, you need to not talk in such detail about Lindsay's rush" will follow that directive. I guess what a lot of people don't get is what's going on in a parent's head - a parent who hasn't grown up with the internet - that compels them to have the idea to share this with the entire world at all.

Now now, DrPhil, that is just your opinion you know.

Yes, while there have been some bright points of light in an otherwise dismal or drama filled field I agree with this sentiment. For PNMs and parents a like.

Kind of like how this was a bitchy response following several really helpful comments? Maybe next time you just shouldn't have posted at all.


Have we had very stupid PNMs? Yes. Have we had PNMs who were smart yet incredibly boring? Yes. Have we had helicopter parents? Oh yes. None of that is assumption or insulting it is fact. Never did I say all of these things were true of every PNM, but that these things were true of recruitment threads in general.

So you were insulted over nothing. Unless the use of a masturbatory metaphor is itself insulting to you, despite the fact that it is SPOT ON what happens in those threads.

Oh no, you're not putting up with my reign of eTerror. Whatever. Will. I . do. Now.

I'm really glad you let me know it was your opinion though, I wouldn't have known otherwise. In my opinion, you don't know how to have a discussion that isn't about the weather as every time you're involved in one, you look ridiculous.

Oh wait, that was snotty and insulting. Luckily I prefaced it with the fact that it was only my opinion.

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/6044/340x7090446.jpg

My comment was not meant to be bitchy and that was posted after I saw the search thread response by Jen. In no way did I mean it to come off that way. Last time I checked GC was open to whoever and whatever wants to be said.

Then why would you tell people not to say snarky, bitchy responses?

It's like the irony went WOOOOOSH.

I didnt tell them not to, there are some very forward women on this website. Its inevitable. Opinions will clash. I could care less whats said to others on here, most of it is none of my business anyway. I was just suggesting that rather than wasting your time preaching about the search button say nothing at all but I think some get satisfaction out of the bitchiness, but by all means. I'm ready for the bitchiness to be flung at me for this statement.

This is the part where you should stop posting. You are precariously close to annoying or downright offending the people who are trying to help you.

Likewise Regina.George. And like whoever said earlier or maybe in another thread, whats annoying or offensive to you might not be to another. Someone else can make a comment and I cant?

p.s totally random but I just watched mean girls the other day and it reminded me how I really liked lindsay lohan pre rehab stints and drug busts.

1. By all means, comment all you want. It's a discussion board, after all. However,...

2. Not all of us are PNMs looking for advice about recruitment at a specific university. What I say here is not going to affect me as much as what you say will affect you.

But those people aren't sophomore transfer students looking to rush at a small school like TCU. They're the people who can make sure that doesn't go so well. Which is what this thread started out being about. Capeche?

TCU is not quite as small as it seems, and if someone can identify me by just my sophmore standing then they must be some serious creepers. If someone wants make sure my rush experience ends before it begins then I cant stop them. I'm going to assume that wasn't meant to "scare" me. It was my opinion on the situation, I am allowed to express that opinion. You don't have to agree and thats fine. Its not like I'm forcing it on all of Greek Chat. I was making an observation.

QFP.