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Exactly.
If people were at schools where the largest chapter is 40 members, no one would blink an eye at "I didn't feel like I fit in." Because it can be very, very true. But once you get to a certain number of members, just by law of averages you should find SOMEONE you can be friends with. |
what would be a better way to indicate the non-meshing with a chapter? would it be better to just not mention it at all? or would it be better to say,"they are all 6 foot tall, 100 pound heidi klum clones and their philanthropy is standing in the student union giving free fashion tips to the less fortunate looking. as i am a 5 feet tall brunette who has no interest in fashion, i feel i don't fit in, so i ranked them last."
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And even if there are members who the PNM would click with in a 100+ member organization, there's still a good chance the PNM might not talk to any of them during recruitment.
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Thanks FSUZeta and greekalum, I went back to read my posts to make sure I hadn't written anything that could have been misunderstood.....I can't think of a better way to state my daughter's thoughts.
Fact is, there was one chapter that had perfectly charming girls many of whom were heavily involved in sports. Not eating sheeps eyes or anything, just not the right fit for the non-sports girl. My daughter met 8 of the girls from this house, several of the PNM's were very excited about this house because it was the perfect fit for them. |
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Ok let me try and break this down. From the PNM's side: PNMs can make stupid decisions, they can also make decisions based on a feeling that they might not adequately be able to explain to the parents. We don't know how this PNM decided anything.
From the parent's side: Parents only know what their PNM tells them. Parents should be careful at making blanket statements about why their PNM was cut, invited back, or anything about how the chapter actually is rather than how their PNM perceived the chapter. Member's side: We don't like when people make quick judgements about chapters but we do forget the above perspectives sometimes. And we forget that a PNM does not have to be ~thrilled~ to be invited back to a chapter she truly doesn't feel she clicks with. However, that cuts both ways and PNMs who have made those decisions should expect lower returns and a smaller chance of getting a bid. |
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And for the record as a PNM I cut one of the "top" sororities on campus because it was mostly full of pageant girls and girls that were fairly conservative and religious. I'm not into the pageant scene at all, wanted, as a freshman, to do a little partying, and I'm not religious. Does this mean, looking back, that I couldn't have found girls in the chapter that were like me? No. But as a freshman, with a week and a half to meet this girls, total, this was my impression. (That being said, the most any chapter has had on campus since I've been around is 60, so they do tend to have a more established group personality than huge chapters). So I can understand on campuses with smaller chapters not wanting a bid because you didn't feel you fit in. What I don't get is feeling that way about 100+ women. There HAS to be a handful that are like you. |
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My advice to you, ma'am, is not to be so willing to belittle someone who disagrees. I, too, am from Pittsburgh and have friends who went to Allegheny. Go Gators! |
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Wrong advice bothers me. I didn't belittle you. You do not appear to understand what sorority recruitment is like at a massively competitive southern school It isn't fair to those girls to be unrealistic. |
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If it happens, great. Wishing her luck in general, great. Promoting something you know nothing about? Shitty when you're giving false hope and bad advice. Here this is called "staying in your lane." Put your blinker back on and refrain from commenting on sorority matters from a position of authority. |
I'm afraid my earlier post may have been misinterpreted. If there was any sort of future hope taken from my post (that SHOULD have been read as snowball's chance in hell), I apologize for that.
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See how that works? |
I do agree that in larger organizations (100+) a PNM has the ability to find a hand full of girls that she can relate too. I think we can all agree that in the rush situation, those particular girls may not be who is paired with said PNM. So at age 18 or 19 these young PNMs have to make a judgement on who is standing in front of her, and she simply does not have the ability or opportunity to seekout like minded indivduals. If there is any "blame" to the sterotypes that PNMs place on chapters, it is that chapters do not do their homework effectively and match PNMs with an active that is like minded, like valued and with similar interests. I do believe some chapters do a much better job at this than others. If you match an applied mathmatics major with a fashion merchandise major, you will more than likely have both saying "no match here." With all that said, these PNM's can only base their attitude of "I don't fit" or "this is my dream house" off of a conversation with maybe 3-5% of the actives. That alone will lead to the generalizations and nothing will ever change that.
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