It's not that I don't want AXO, it's just that I'm not sure enough yet to fully commit, which is why I want to take advantage of the informal recruitment process in order to learn more. I don't know any Greek women on campus, I didn't know anyone on campus before I came here (besides a sophomore spring admit with whom I went to summer camp), a factor that may have worked against me in formal recruitment. I want to look at SDT and AXO over this next week and a half and see what I think then. I'm not outright saying "no" to AXO, just "not right now." And yeah, I do mean a rec, I think they're called letters of reference too?

There's a difference between a recommendation form vs. letter of reference.

keep your head up, kaeb, you'll find a home somewhere :)

Oh and to everyone else, just fyi, I guess AXO has been at USC for a pretty long time. So it's not about being new (that would actually describe SDT perfectly though because they're brand new). And, unfortunately, due to the attitude of many PNMs I've encountered and tent-talk and what not, I think the odds of a group of freshmen with the potential to turn their reputation around wouldn't do it...sucks because every AXO i met was great

So apparently I haven't made it clear enough that I'm not turning down A Chi O?

I am not saying "No" to Alpha Chi Omega. I am just saying "not right now." I've read many times in this forum that joining a sorority is a huge commitment, and I want to be sure on a personal level that I'm joining the sorority that I think is best for me. Which is why I want to look at SDT and look further into AXO and hope that I find that one of them is the right house for me. If I find that neither is the right house for me, then I will remain unaffiliated. I would really love to be a part of greek life, but I want to be sure I'm making the right decision for me.

Im just curious..why are you going to COB for AXO when you had a chance to get a bid already? Im just confused on that part. Also, just because AXO is doing COB doesnt mean you will automatically get in just because you made it to pref round. There might be some girls that will feel offended and hurt that you turned them down during formal, and might choose not to give you a second chance. Just wanted to throw that in there so you know and dont give your hopes up.

With that said, good luck with COB, use that SDT rec for sure (was SDT Lester? Or did you get cut from them earlier?) and keep us updated :)

SDT did not do formal recruitment at USC this year. They are only participating in informal.

Ahh ok..you answered my question then..totally didnt see this when I posted.

Oh ok thanks

I'm going to SDT to get to know the sisters better. I tried to make it clear to my rusher today that it was a completely personal thing and that I don't feel at this point in time like I'm ready to accept a bid from them. I'm not counting on a bid, either, I'm going to go to their events and hopefully meet more girls and, if it comes up, rationally explain my reasons for not filling out a bid card.

I'm obviously quite biased here, but I don't think I'm in the wrong for not making a choice I wasn't prepared to make at that point in time. I believe in being fully committed to something when making a life-altering decision, and this is a life-altering decision. It's not fair to the women of the house to have me if I won't be happy, just as it's not fair to me to choose to be somewhere where I won't be happy. Which is why I want to make sure that I'll be happy there before I definitively and essentially irrevocably say yes or no.

I feel like the classic break-up phrase is applicable here: It's not you, it's me. It's not AXO, I have nothing against them at all, it's me. I want to be sure that I'm making the right decision. AXO is a great house for some people, and it might be a great house for me, but I feel like I need more information in order to determine that. So yes, I will take advantage of the fact that they do COB and use that as an opportunity to make a better-educated decision. I realize how lucky I am that I have this chance, and I don't want to ruin it.

I have a question for those of you who are questioning me and my decision. If you had only been offered a bid to a house you weren't completely sold on, what would you do? I just want to reiterate one more time that Alpha Chi Omega is a wonderful house full of outstanding women, but I want to be somewhere where I'm excited to be there. It was the same thing when I was applying to colleges--I was rejected by a lot of schools that "clicked" with me, and accepted by a few that I wasn't completely wild about, but finally accepted by a school that clicked with me and that I was so insanely excited to attend (and still am! :D). I'm looking for that in a sorority--somewhere where I feel a click and where I'm insanely excited to be a sister. If I don't find it, I'll be disappointed, but I'll live. I'd love to find that, though. And it could be with A Chi O or SDT.

kaeb, i've enjoyed following your recruitment story! i introduced myself to you this morning at pref :) i am glad that you are taking some time to think about things. i accepted a bid from SDT last year, and realized that they weren't the right house for me, but wasn't able to COB with any other house since i signed the MRABA agreement. the sigdelts are really wonderful girls and i think you will get along great with them. good luck with informal!

thank you! :)

You know best.

What DID I do? I decided that since Gamma Phi wanted me more than the other house I preffed, I would trust that they knew I would be a good fit. I pledged to do everything I could to live up to their faith in me. I made a commitment to the ideals of my sorority, and to my sisters, and I've had my life immeasureably enriched by being a part of my sorority. I know that the bid I accepted was a true gift - an entry into a fuller, richer life at college and beyond.

And what if I hadn't? I was certainly active in other campus groups - none of which have had near the impact on my life that Gamma Phi has.I can't imagine my life without my sisters, and the great women I've met through Alumnae Panhellenics. Can you have a successful college experience without sorority membership? Of course. Will it be all that it could be? I'd argue, no.

I would advise taking the bid. If a house is a clear, "no," then obviously you shouldn't. But if it's more in the, "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" range, then I would give the chapter the benefit of the doubt. At that point, the chapter can probably see a good fit better than you can. JMO

But having said that, you do have another option. We all have to live with our choices. I hope that it works out for you.