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Here's the thing:
If you look back, no one really "called her out" on the arrest. People called her out on not knowing which council she was talking about, "not bragging about" her 3.3, and her general attitude toward people who were answering her question. And I think the "Which one of the 4" in response to Sen saying 3 of 4 do background checks is what really topped the cake (even though we later found out she wasn't talking NPHC - it was like she was asking us to help her work the system). I did stupid things and got caught before I joined a sorority, too. But, that's not what I was commenting on. |
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But your general point about not responding is a good one. |
I guess I'm willing to throw her a bone because the sorority system is so confusing to outsiders. And the acronyms don't help. Seriously, would you know that NPC and NPHC (when they stand for the same thing) are in fact not the same? And saying "4 out of 5" invites the follow-up question. Yes, I understand why we who understand the system think that's funny, but again, as an outsider, she possibly thinks the acceptance policies, standards, etc. are fixed when we all know they are extremely fluid. All we can say is there are minimum standards, of which grades are one, but there is no fixed list of standards that gets someone in or out, and a stupid arrest would fall into a grey area that may completely offend one sorority and not even be a blip to another.
I'm just saying give her a break. Ignorance is something we go to college to overcome. |
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I think on some level, PNM posters get upset when we don't tell them what they want to hear.
In good conscience, I can't tell a PNM that NO CHAPTER is going to care about her arrest. They very well might. I'm sorry if being honest = being mean, but I am certainly not going to lie and say that it's no big deal. It just might be. I think it's swell that some folks have been arrested and still managed to secure certain jobs. That's not going to happen for everyone. |
I'll give you that. But again, I've spouted off things when I was mad... unfortunately I can't blame all of mine on the ignorance of youth. And also unfortunately there's no way to dig yourself out of that online. Hopefully she kept herself anonymous enough that if she decides to go through recruitment later on this won't bite her in the arse.
Now I promise to say no more. Good night! |
This may be slightly off-topic, but here goes...
I don't understand why a regular poster would want to create an alias to express their opinion. Are people really that concerned about what other posters think of them? I wouldn't know 99% of you if I bumped into you on the street, and I imagine it's that way for the rest of the board. I mean, I've seen subsets of this feeling in other areas of the board. Poster A criticizes Poster B, and Poster B says something along the lines of "OMG I can't believe you criticized me, I thought we got along!" Or there are people who trumpet their GC reputations. People tend to get way too attached to other user names on the board, or to their own GC persona. Do you really care that much about how other people on the board feel about you? Is your GC reputation really that big of a deal? To CallingYouOut - I really don't get your using an alias in this situation. The only thing you posted that might have necessitated an alias was the comment about your husband, and honestly, your story would have worked the same if you had said "a friend of mine" or "someone I know" instead. Sorry, I guess I just don't get it. If you're going to post something that you don't want attached to your regular user name, maybe you just shouldn't post it. |
Well, let's put it this way. No sorority would do a background check like that and so I'd say for MOST of the sororities, you are probably in the clear. However, if you are going to a school where a lot of people from your area end up, don't think the news won't travel to at least a couple chapters. It might travel by word of alumni in "no" recommendations (would only get sent to one chapter), or by word of current sorority member gossip.
This might hurt you, which would be a little hypocritical because I'd be willing to bet on the fact that at most large colleges there are several sisters in every chapter with a fake ID. But such is recruitment. It's behind you now and there is nothing you can do to change it, so focus on getting recs, outfits and, arguably most importantly, conversation topics together. |
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But, as CallingYouOut pointed out, a lot of people continued to post sarcastic remarks. This poster is right, you can take the high road and not respond further instead. Also, calling someone out because they don't know the difference between NPC and NPHC, if they new to the system is pretty trivial. I highly doubt that 95% of the non-greek population actually knows the difference. Also, if I recall correctly, I remember two famous twins of a former president who also were members of a sorority, got caught using fake IDs when they were in college. And as a person who sorts resumes on a daily basis, I would not overlook a candidate for this, I would look at the whole person and their contributions, as I hope and greek organization would do. Bottom line, taunting and talk-back is for bullies. |
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1st of all, NPHC intake isn't really discussed on here, so just posting it was problematic if that was what the OP really meant. And while we are pretty forgiving of clueless NPC PNMs, in the NPHC the burden of advanced research is on the aspirant member, who is encouraged to find out what he or she needs to in real life. So that was actually, in the context to the responses the OP got, a very significant mistake. 2. Most NPC members do know that facing similar charges while a member might not be unheard of, but we also know that depending on the campus and the importance of recommendations and prior reputation that being arrested the semester before you went through recruitment might be enough to get you cut at the chapters who know it. By the time this information was disclosed, the OP had already insulted the entire system. It's just not the best example of why we should be a kinder, gentler GreekChat although I generally agree that we should. |
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I'm CALLING YOU OUT as a coward. Shut up, coward. |
To CallingYouOut, while I tend to believe that people should be nicer (not "blow rainbows up people's asses" nice, but classy) on this site, you should read the first chapter of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." By criticizing anybody you can only hope to make them so defensive that they will fail to see where they erred. It truly only makes people MORE likely to repeat bad behavior. Such, unfortunately, is human nature. I know when I am criticized, especially directly, I will think up wild reasons why my heinous behavior was acceptable and therefore not even think twice to repeat the behavior.
ETA: Of course this post might be seen as criticizing you which makes me a hypocrite of the highest degree. Don't look at it that way, but more as someone who agrees with your (general) point of view (this particular thread is kind of "whatever" for me) but thinks your approach could be reworked to be more effective. |
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