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I'M SO MAD MY DREAM WAS SO BAD IT COULDN'T BE "UNFORTUNATE" YOU SKIPPED STRAIGHT TO "MISFORTUNATE!!!!" :eek: LMAO! :D:p
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I have a pair of sandals that I've had (& loved) since the 8th grade. Yes, they still fit. And, yes, I still wear them.
Last week, at the alumni picnic a brother looked at me and said--"Hey, AlwaysSAI, you're wearing those sandals you've had since the 8th grade." I said, "Yeah--I LOVE THEM!" Then, I got up, got real close to her face and said, "And, guess what--They stink when I take them off." She was grossed out as were a few other people that were in close proximity. I mean, really, do no one else's shoes stink? (A few years ago, I tried to get the smell out with baking soda. I covered them in the stuff and let them sit outside for like 2 weeks. It helped > < much.) |
So, I hop in the shower as soon as I get home from work. The second I turn the water off, I hear my friend yelling my name. I ask her what she's yelling about and she tells me to come downstairs. When I get there, she tells me "[Her son] just shit! It's everywhere!"
Apparently, he ate something that he shouldn't have and crapped through three diapers. Unfortunately, they didn't hold all of it. The carpet has a lovely new color. Ugh. |
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my hangnails/cuticles are beyond disgusting. seriously. the calluses are starting to split. I have no clue on this one. |
RU OX Alum,
If you can, start rubbing some cuticle cream on them for a couple days. With a nail file, push them back gently and then slowly cut them with a nail clipper. Never do this while dry! Soak your hands at night for a couple minutes in warm water. :-) |
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And ouch with the hangnails. Do you moisturize your hands properly? I keep lotion on me so if I do end up with a hangnail, i can cut it without hurting myself. |
This is crazy TMI (especially for a lady) but there was a guy in my bathroom today re-tiling the floor from when the plumbers pulled it all up, and I had to poo ALL DAY. Once again, he was here for 12 hours (why it took that long is another story). I've never had to "hold it" that bad and it was definitely an interesting feeling that I hope I never have to feel again.
You know - the kind where you feel sicker AFTER you go. Weird. |
I wish I had something worthy to post in this thread. But, I just don't think farts and boners are that....offensive. That sort of thing is not typically talked about in the general public.
As I've said before, though, it takes a lot to offend me--in all aspects of life. |
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It was a house favorite when I was a bartender, and I was told by the inventor of the shot that I poured it better than anybody. :) It's easier to make for lots of people at once, because you can't pour it using counts--there are too many ingredients. 1 part each of: Jack Daniels Jim Beam Crown Wild Turkey Maker's Mark Sour mix Coke Loooooove this shot! Oh, and, in keeping with the thread's theme, one night I drank too many WHILE WORKING at the bar and I had to go to the bathroom...but while I was using the toilet I suddenly had to puke, so I picked up the trashcan and tossed my cookies in it. On the clock. I don't know how my drawer wasn't all kinds of off that night! |
Did I ever tell you guys about when I got food poisoning RIGHT before starting my spring break? I ate a salad after finishing my last take-home final, then I drove to campus to print it out and turn it in. (I was running low on grocery funds, so I think the ingredients were a little past their prime.) By the time it had printed, I had to run outside to puke in the bushes. I was then stuck in a public bathroom for AN HOUR with it coming out of both ends. Like yellow bile-looking puke. Ewww! A few people asked if I was ok, and one nice girl got me some water. <3 <3 Thank you girl with the yellow shoes and British accent! It was awful. I've never been that sick before or after.
Oh, and I had ZERO reception in that bathroom. When I was finally done, I cleaned up, then called my boyfriend. I was too weak to climb up the hill to my professor's office to turn in my paper, so he picked me up and did it for me. My paper was turned in about 15 minutes after the deadline, but I got excused. Oh, and I got an A- in the class. Woo! |
Ladies, if I'm not mistaken, when you puke while sitting on the toilet it's called a screaming genie. Don't ask me how I know that (fraternity men sometimes made a habit of sharing TMI in college).
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I hate it when I feel a loose booger in my nose that needs to be picked. Usually I blow my nose, but that doesn't always do the trick.
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