An entire class groaned when told I would not be teaching on campus in the fall.

Yes, you will miss me when I'm gone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Zcffw76qM

Please please please don't send me on any more errands today. It's too hot outside!!!

I'm entitled to benefits.

Wow, that one kills me.

I love having you visit our office, but I'm going to have to ask you to not marinate in whatever fragrance you decided on today before coming in to work. I'm already a bit under the weather, and I'm not especially fond of your Baby Powder Infused Stripper Scented Throatpunch.

Also, I really, really need to bail on my afternoon meetings and go see a doctor - pretty sure this is an ear infection.

Lol at baby powder infused stripper scented throat punch. My coworker wears a scent from the same line: gardenia infused stripper scented throat punch.

What I want to say: "athletic" has THREE syllables, not four. There is no vowel between the h and the l.

What do you mean you FORGOT? You divided up a pile of papers and one didn't get in a pile and you didn't notice a whole in the list of things to do? :mad:

Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!!! Seriously, you start nattering on about God only knows what and continue to do so even as I'm walking away from you and not responding to you. You're like a really annoying fly, except it's illegal for me to smack you. I need to check if it's legal to throw cigarette boxes at you, because I'm gonna do it the next time you start yammering.

I've been slacking for weeks. Why is everyone still telling me how awesome I am? Does everybody else suck that much???

Heaven forbid that anyone should think that that vendor you chose does a terrible job.

Just because you all just figured out I'm probably the youngest person at this agency does not mean to be babied on the basics.

Please teach me about new things when it comes to strategy and the industry; I welcome that!

I do NOT need an email reminder to change my voicemail and set my out of office when I am going to be out. I've been working for 3 years--I know damn well to put an out of office on when I'm not in!!!

I am WAY more offended than I should be. But damn!

Holy shit! Your kids are just as annoying as you!

How is it that you have a legitimate excuse to leave early EVERY Friday?

Y'all need to shut the hell up. Or I will go to your boss and tell him you clearly don't have enough to do - but based on his shenanigans, he doesn't either.

Still. Cram it with walnuts, please.

Do not expect to call me with an hour and twenty minutes left in the work week to ask me how to handle something that I do not have the authority or clearance to even touch.

Gonna be such a long Saturday, ALL I can think about is the Postal Service show tonight. BUT, it's my last Saturday at this job! Hoozah!