^^^I love getting IDed at places because I look 16. It's like "HAHA, FOOLED YOU!!!" :D

My family was so worried about the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend (or seem interested in boys at all) that, starting at age 15, my dad and sister took turns asking me if I was a lesbian. :eek::rolleyes: Once I started actively trying to date (midway through college), they stopped asking but the fact that they went there in the first place made me so....ugh, I don't even have words. What is the big friggin' deal about being single, even for long periods of time? I'm not a "dater," what can I say? My relatives now ask at EVERY get-together why I'm not dating someone and when am I gonna "get on it." My new answer for the holiday season: I have better things to do than a guy. :p

My aunt asked me the same thing after I told her my younger cousin was a lesbian. She flat out told me, "Ok, so we have one lesbian, when are you going to come out?" and then laughed. Seriously? I don't date, i'm not a big dater. My mom is really judgemental and so I just rather stay away from dating than hearing any of her lip. Why is it if someone isn't dating, it's cause they're gay?

When family would ask (especially the ones i haven't seen in a while) I would say that I was focusing on school. Recently, one of my bitchy relatives goes "well you've graduated from college, what's your excuse now?"

I've been with my boyfriend five months and my parents met him about a month ago when they came to visit and help me move. They both loved him, thought he was so polite, southern gentleman, etc. (which he is and I love it). So my mom asked if I thought he was "the one" and I just laughed and said I don't know! At this age (23), I don't think I'd date someone if I didn't see a future with them, but I also realize that we're still in the "honeymoon" phase of dating and to be thinking marriage this early on is ridiculous.

I was on the phone with my sister about a month ago helping her with Spanish homework and I had her on speaker, with my boyfriend sitting next to me. She asked about me coming home for Christmas and if he was coming (no), then said "do you think you'll get a ring for Christmas?" and I said "NO! We've only been dating 4 months!" BF looked bewildered and said "try more like 4 years from now!"

My sister is 27 and has NEVER had a boyfriend (there are several factors to this). My family completely leaves her alone on the marriage subject, or even dating subject. I've had boyfriends since HS and marriage has come up several times.

I was dating someone when I was 18, I'd consider him my first love. We dated about 9 months and broke up for several reasons, but mainly we went to school 8 hours apart and he was pretty possessive. Post breakup, my mom told me my grandmother asked her if she thought then-bf was "the one" and my mom laughed and said I was only 18. My grandmother then told her she'd never seen me so happy before. (that comment haunts me to this day!)

We should trade places. My mother is in denial about me being gay, she just think that I haven't found the right guy yet or am not interested in dating. I haven't been with a guy since 2002, and was never boy-crazy. I'm just shocked that this has not aroused ANY suspicion from her or anyone else in my family.

Maybe they're suspicious but, unlike our families, they're too tactful to let on. :shrug:


I've never been overly girly, so that must've been part of it. I was never (and still am not) into makeup and dresses and purses and I swear high heels are Satan's invention. ;) I just didn't care about impressing boys. They were stupid and farted for applause. I especially can't get over the fact that I was 15--I wasn't even allowed to date till I was 16, so what was the big deal? :confused: *sigh* Parents just don't understand.*starts doing the running man to the song in my head*

You really are my long lost twin! Its official now. *Joins in doing the running man*.

I am NOT a girly girl. Im so far from it it's a shame. I have a B/F currently (of 2 years).
The lesbian question never came up because it was kind of obvious that I like men, but I just didnt date any of them.
When My B/f's family or my family and friends ask when the wedding is I tell them to speak with the b/f because I have specified the conditions under which I will marry said B/F and until he meets them I will not be jumping anyone's broom.
I also frequently tell people that they've lost their minds if they think Im going to shoot myself in the foot and not be able to take a drink (legally) before, during, and afterward.

ETA: When I talk to my b/f's dad (who is really religious) and he asks me the M question I always want to say:
Him: When are yall gonna get married?
Me: When Jesus returns to officiate, cuz you know he my homie. Plus then I aint gotta buy no wine. That reminds me, I gotta ask if he could turn mines into Vodka instead cuz I dont like wine like that.

When I was single, I doubt anyone questioned my preferences. I think it was because I did have plenty of dates--most of them frog princes I was kissing who had CapitalOne rules... LOL...

I wanted to be in a stable relationship with someone who I loved and who loved me in return. But, later in single life, I found out you have different kinds of dates... I had my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (a lot of those), Saturday (plenty of those) and Sunday (a few of those) dates. Then I had a entire dry season for a year... That was very difficult for me--especially when I was down for "routine maintenance" early in the morning from Wednesday to Thursday... LOL... :rolleyes:

Usually, when loving family members or elders would ask me if I was dating when I was single, I would say "no, but do you know of anyone?" Then I asked "if he was cute and has money?" That usually stopped the questions...

And I got everyone pissed of with me when I eloped and got married to a gentleman very few people knew... It's been 5.5 years now...

Ha...we should! My mom has never really asked or seemed to care whether I was dating someone or not. I think she secretly hopes I hold off on dating, so I don't end up being like her---dating a guy right @ the end of college and getting pregnant.

She seems to be kind of judgmental about the people I date, But when she found out my cousin was gay, she embraced her (at this point, my cousin's mom is the only one that doesn't know), no judgements at all. Hmmm...i think i got the short end of the stick! lol

That's when you pull a Katherine Heigl from 27 Dresses and say something to the effect of, "I really like having random sex with strangers, so getting married just isn't on the table right now, but thanks for asking."

I forgot the best part of the story, 19 year old bride and hubby are DORM roommates on campus.

It's like Cory and Topanga, but with no hope for a future.

Slight Hijack

This thread makes me think of that Beyonce song everytime I see it.

End of Hijack

^^^That works vice versa. That song played at my school's dance a couple days ago and this thread was the first thing I thought about as I made my way to the dance floor! :p

I love it when I think of GC in my real life and I chuckle about it, but I can't tell someone else why I'm laughing. They just don't get it.

LOL awesome! I wish I could try that family. They're the kind that gasp whenever the word "sex" gets metioned. I can only imagine the priceless reactions I'd get! :p

I tell them to mind their own business...it's my life,not theirs.

More often I get the related "Why are you single?!"

I tell them it's because I'm kind of a bitch.

This thread is too long to see if I posted this quote, but I had this "quote of the day for women" type calendar a few years back. My favorite of them all was:

"I think, therefore, I am single"

God, talk about a long engagement. Two people I went to college with got engaged a few months back after 5 months total (counting breakups) of on-and-off dating. The night of the engagement, my friends who are still in school with her were asking her about it (how did he do it, etc.) and she seemed less than thrilled and said they probably wouldn't get married for 3 or 4 years (she's 20, he's 25 or 26).

They broke up maybe a week later. They're both dating new people now.

So, who's going to see He's Just Not That Into You? :p

I want to but I have no girlfriends here to see it with - and I would have to drag live-in to it.

I might go by myself though - I like going to movies by myself but I have a feeling this one would be more fun with a couple of girlfriends.

I'm thinking about it.

I am!! I think its going to be hilarious.

It was funny and rang true one too many times. :p There was a couple things that I didn't like, but overall I'd see it again.

I saw a lot of myself in certain scenes...duly noted. :o

I get this question from my parents believe it or not. Ive been dating my BF consistently (so no "breaks") for 4 years this April. I get it from my friends too but mostly from the 'rents, which is ironic because my mother has outright said that she cant afford to give me a dime for a wedding! I wouldnt mind being engaged right about now, but it would have to be a long engagement (1-2 yrs) for me and my bf to save $ for a wedding.

Answer both my younger brother and give, ....based on our family's batting average, 0-3, proceed with caution.
Parents: divorced, after 22 years married.
Older brother: divorced, after 8 years married.
Older sister: divorced, after a year.
Me: engaged twice, one time the guy decided he wanted to find himself (Looking in the yellow pages, perhaps), and the second time, I decided I wasn't ready.
My youngest brother: Tries to avoid the topic because of the above.

When people have asked me that recently, I say stuff like "We're not so good at marriage in my family" since my history looks worse than yours, justabeachbrat:

Parents: divorced after 23 years married
Brother: just got married a week ago, his third
Me: divorced twice, 1 after 14 months, 1 after 7 years

I won't do it a third time. I see no reason to. My kids will be in college. Unless I end up doing it for health insurance purposes or something legal like that, I just don't see it happening.

twinkle555: I can understand parents asking after you've been in a 4 year relationship, depending on how it's asked. There's a way to nag about it and there's a way to just be interested in whether your child is thinking that way about a long term boyfriend. Although, if you're like my brother, you just don't mention that you're seeing anybody until a month before your wedding and then you say "By the way, Dad, I'm getting married next month". You call your sister 6 days prior to tell her.

My mom always used to say that the only way we would know he was getting married would be when he called my mom asking for my dress size, and then a week later calling and saying "OK I'm getting married this weekend, Nicole's in the wedding and I have her dress at my house."

As luck had it, however, he fell in love with one of my best friends, so I had a year's notice!

They like to switch from a very annoying nag to a "we're just inquiring!"

[quote=AGDee;1789988]When people have asked me that recently, I say stuff like "We're not so good at marriage in my family" since my history looks worse than yours, justabeachbrat:

Parents: divorced after 23 years married
Brother: just got married a week ago, his third
Me: divorced twice, 1 after 14 months, 1 after 7 years

I did forget one....it was so quick.
My older sister eloped, married a guy on the rebound, she'd met at party--they did date a few weeks--they eloped to Las Vegas, this was when she was a college junior. I was in the dorms for summer school, she calls, says she is coming over, with a surprise. Her surprise was the elopement had been a mistake, she and they guy were parting. My mom had learned of the "wedding" and she calls to discuss a reception. Surprise, mom.

My sister had a very pretty wedding, on the beach in front of her apartment in SoCAl. She then moved the next day to Texas, the "groom" had been a guy she knew in high school, they met again through a mutual friend. He was a jerk before, and remained a jerk. From Texas, she moves to Wyoming, and he moves to CA. Just plain crazy.

I hope to marry, if it happens, fine. I have seen the marriages of friends implode, and also some who are happy.

AUGH. My in-laws do the same thing when they bring up the topic of our having a baby. One second it's "You'd make such a good mother!" or "It's different when it's your own" or "Awww, look at the cute little baby over there!" and the next second it's "Of course, it's up to you when you want to have children." (Note: "when", not "if".)

Im 18, still in college and single - good enough reasons lol

It took me a long time to realize it, but not every question deserves an answer. Put the ball in their court:
"Why do you want to know?"
"That's a funny question. You do know that I'm (in college, grad school, probationary period at work), don't you?"
"That's my dirty little secret."
or even just a knowing little smile.

I get this question frequent from random old dudes on the street (not from the family). These days I say "Because no one wants me." :neutral: lol.

Love it. ;)

These days, my answer is "God is preparing the right man for me and I don't want him half-baked." :p

I never got asked this question yet, but there has been some great responses to choose from in here.

On the other hand, a friend of mine has been asked this before and she has replied "There is not a man that can afford me mentally/I have not found a man that can afford me mentally."

Marriage is a serious step in life and you want to make certain that you are both mentally and emotionally prepared for a lifetime of uncertainty. I also believe that you should have a spiritual foundation to build on.

A friend of my parents (whom I never really liked, but he's friends with the family and has kids around our age so we all sort of grew up together...) told me the other day that I'm "approaching old maid status." I'm 25 and just ended a significant relationship, so it was especially inappropriate timing :(